Would you be upset if after a year of marriage and having a child your DH didn't have you or your DC as a beneficiary?

We've been married for over a year and I just saw DH has his parents only as his beneficiaries. He claims he "never got around to it" although he mentioned it when we got married. I got upset because he is a police officer and god forbid something should happen to him, we are left with nothing. He says his parents wouldn't keep anything, and I told him, you don't know that (especially now that there is friction between us). People change when it comes to dealing with $$ and it doesn't matter if they are family..they are the FIRST ones to screw you over!!

Am I wrong for being upset? As soon as we got married I added him on and DD when she was born.

I just think it's lazyness on his part and also he just doesn't THINK!!!

Message edited 11/9/2007 9:08:34 AM.

Re: Would you be upset if after a year of marriage and having a child your DH didn't have you or your DC as a beneficiary?

DH & I are married for almost 2 years...I had my life insurance policy for years before I even met him. My mom was always my beneficiary. I just changed it over about 3 weeks ago to my husband. I honestly just never remembered to do it....

DH added me as his beneificary about 6 months or so after we got married...

Re: Would you be upset if after a year of marriage and having a child your DH didn't have you or your DC as a beneficiary?

My brother is a cop too. It's really important that your DH change the beneficiary. I'm sure your ILs would give you the money, but as soon as they are gone the money stops, so there would be nothing for you and your dd. It just happened to a widow in my brother's house, it's terrible, she has young kids.

Re: Would you be upset if after a year of marriage and having a child your DH didn't have you or your DC as a beneficiary?

I would be annoyed, but honestly if I didn't remind DH to get the paperwork from his company he probably would have never gotten around to it either.

I hope he's taking care of it right away.

Message edited 11/9/2007 9:10:48 AM.

Re: Would you be upset if after a year of marriage and having a child your DH didn't have you or your DC as a beneficiary?

Re: Would you be upset if after a year of marriage and having a child your DH didn't have you or your DC as a beneficiary?

DH & I talked shortly after we were married because he is a procrasinator & I made sure he changed everything. He had his parents on everything & we get along great but as you said.....you never know what will happen and my DH works for ConEd & it can be very dangerous.

Re: Would you be upset if after a year of marriage and having a child your DH didn't have you or your DC as a beneficiary?

I hope he would change them soon ~ I am sure he has forgotten ~ but he should start working on that especially you have a child...

Re: Would you be upset if after a year of marriage and having a child your DH didn't have you or your DC as a beneficiary?

sometimes you need to light a fire under their you-know-whats to get things done. i usually have to remind my DH numerous times before he gets around to something. this is very important, so make sure he changes it. tell him it's a big deal and to stop procrastinating NOW.

Re: Would you be upset if after a year of marriage and having a child your DH didn't have you or your DC as a beneficiary?

I would honestly be annoyed. These are very important things that MUST be taken care of right away. IMO. I would ask him to set up some time to go over these issues and make those changes.

Re: Would you be upset if after a year of marriage and having a child your DH didn't have you or your DC as a beneficiary?

I wouldn't be upset but now that you've discussed it, I would make sure it was done ASAP.

Re: Would you be upset if after a year of marriage and having a child your DH didn't have you or your DC as a beneficiary?

Re: Would you be upset if after a year of marriage and having a child your DH didn't have you or your DC as a beneficiary?

Re: Would you be upset if after a year of marriage and having a child your DH didn't have you or your DC as a beneficiary?

No excuse..my dh and i are both nyc cops and soon after getting married we went straight to the pension and benefits offices and changed over all our beneficiaries...it's very important b/c you can't rely on their "word" that you and dd will be taken care of

Re: Would you be upset if after a year of marriage and having a child your DH didn't have you or your DC as a beneficiary?

I understand why you're annoyed, but now that it's been discussed, he needs to get his arse in gear and make the changes.

Re: Would you be upset if after a year of marriage and having a child your DH didn't have you or your DC as a beneficiary?

wow, I would be really upset! I changed my beneficiary to DH a few weeks after we were married and he did the same.

Re: Would you be upset if after a year of marriage and having a child your DH didn't have you or your DC as a beneficiary?

Hmm, I thought that once you got married your spouse automatically became the beneficiary. I thought the only way the spouse wouldn't be the beneficiary is if they signed something and had it notorized. Guess I was way wrong.

But to answer your question, I would be upset, especially now that you have a child together. Some guys just need to be reminded. It's an easy thing to forget, but an important one to remember.

Re: Would you be upset if after a year of marriage and having a child your DH didn't have you or your DC as a beneficiary?

That needs to be changed immediately!!! One would hope that his parents would take care of you if something were to happen to him, but why not just cut out the middle man and leave it to who you want to have it.

Re: Would you be upset if after a year of marriage and having a child your DH didn't have you or your DC as a beneficiary?

I would be very upset! This is very important, and should be taken care of ASAP. Especially since he is a cop! That is a dangerous job and anything can happen. In regards to your In-laws being the beneficiaries. People might just assume that they would hand over the money, but you never know. Especially if you are having issues with them.

There are two events in your life when you get to see the true colors of a person. (marriage and death), and sometimes people surprise you and not in a good way.

Re: Would you be upset if after a year of marriage and having a child your DH didn't have you or your DC as a beneficiary?

We went 1 month after we were married and changed his life insurance etc, but my stuff was changed while we were on our honeymoon. Each of our parents are beneficiaries if something happens to both of us.

Find out what you can do to get the ball rolling etc.

I also believe that I read that my 401k, as soon as I am married, my husband automatically is the benificiary. I 'think' I read that on my paperwork.

Re: Would you be upset if after a year of marriage and having a child your DH didn't have you or your DC as a beneficiary?

Re: Would you be upset if after a year of marriage and having a child your DH didn't have you or your DC as a beneficiary?

I would be upset, but to be honest sometimes people just don't like to think about stuff like that. I changed mine to DH, but I'm not even sure if he changed his to me.

Re: Would you be upset if after a year of marriage and having a child your DH didn't have you or your DC as a beneficiary?

I have to hound my DH to take care of these things.

The only reason his life insurance is up to date is because he changed companies this summer and I had to fill out the form for him. And even then he was trying to cut me out of it -- he said "but what about the child?" when I put my name as beneficiary. I had to remind him who will care for her if something happened to him, and how would inurance money help pay the mortgage if it is locked in a trust until she's 18? Never mind the fact that she's not born yet.

Just stay on top of him.

Re: Would you be upset if after a year of marriage and having a child your DH didn't have you or your DC as a beneficiary?

Re: Would you be upset if after a year of marriage and having a child your DH didn't have you or your DC as a beneficiary?

I believe spouse gets everything.

Message edited 11/9/2007 10:35:20 AM.

Re: Would you be upset if after a year of marriage and having a child your DH didn't have you or your DC as a beneficiary?