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donegal419
St. Gerard, pray for us.
Member since 7/07 7650 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: Would you be upset if after a year of marriage and having a child your DH didn't have you or your DC as a beneficiary?
IMO, I would be very upset!!! i did mine less than two weeks after we were married.... life is too short. you never know... he could be hurt on the job, get sick, etc. you just never know what life will bring. i would get on him to do that ASAP... if he refuses, i think you then have a serious issue to resolve.
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Posted 11/10/07 12:16 AM  |
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KateDevine
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Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
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Re: Would you be upset if after a year of marriage and having a child your DH didn't have you or your DC as a beneficiary?
Posted by june262004
Posted by KateDevine
Posted by june262004
I believe spouse gets everything.
Not true if it is stated otherwise.
I work for a bank. I believe spouses over ride.
Not for organizations like NYPD and FDNY. My DH is FDNY and the paperwork for the beneficiaries are NUTS. I am first, then DS is second, then his step mom is third, then his neice....we've never had to change it, but the initial stuff is insane and SUPER detailed.
And I am paralegal, if you have will that you never changed, then it would have to be challenged in probate court.
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| Posted 11/10/07 3:32 AM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you be upset if after a year of marriage and having a child your DH didn't have you or your DC as a beneficiary?
To everyone said the spouses override - that isn't true if there is named beneficiary. If there was no beneficiary assigned, you may have a shot in probate court (which of course would take a chunk of money for administrative fees).
I'm not sure why you can't have the paperwork sent but I would make the call to the union about getting it sent. I'm sure he'll need to get it notarized but there are a ton of notaries around.
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| Posted 11/10/07 7:08 AM |
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browneyedgirl
family is all that matters
Member since 6/06 6513 total posts
Name:
browneyes
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Re: Would you be upset if after a year of marriage and having a child your DH didn't have you or your DC as a beneficiary?
i would be very upset. it's one of the first official things we did after we got married
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| Posted 11/10/07 9:59 AM |
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Goldi0218
My miracles!
Member since 12/05 23902 total posts
Name:
Leslie
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Re: Would you be upset if after a year of marriage and having a child your DH didn't have you or your DC as a beneficiary?
As much as I hate to say this, when a person passes away, settling an estate can truly tear a family apart. It can bring the absolute WORST out in people. If by any chance the named beneficiary and the spouse or true next of kin are not on good terms, one can be in for one heck of a fight. This is something that nobody should have to deal with while they are grieving for the one they lost. Nobody likes to think about death when they are in healthy and new realtionships, but it is really important.
Within a few weeks of our return from our honeymoon, we not only settled our beneficiaries, but secured burial plots for each other. Very morbid, but if not settled now, I could feasibly spend eternity in a place I don't want to be.
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| Posted 11/10/07 10:22 AM |
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lkrpaul
Becoming a Big Brother!
Member since 5/07 2541 total posts
Name:
Laura
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Re: Would you be upset if after a year of marriage and having a child your DH didn't have you or your DC as a beneficiary?
I would definitely be annoyed! That being said, if it really is just laziness (as you said) then I would give him the benefit of the doubt and just make him switch it over. He should put you and your daughter first.
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| Posted 11/10/07 11:32 AM |
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mitabtrfly
Member since 12/06 2770 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you be upset if after a year of marriage and having a child your DH didn't have you or your DC as a beneficiary?
Posted by medic6809
Posted by mitabtrfly
We've been married for over a year and I just saw DH has his parents only as his beneficiaries. He claims he "never got around to it" although he mentioned it when we got married. I got upset because he is a police officer and god forbid something should happen to him, we are left with nothing. He says his parents wouldn't keep anything, and I told him, you don't know that (especially now that there is friction between us). People change when it comes to dealing with $$ and it doesn't matter if they are family..they are the FIRST ones to screw you over!!
Am I wrong for being upset? As soon as we got married I added him on and DD when she was born.
I just think it's lazyness on his part and also he just doesn't THINK!!! 
I would be annoyed, but kind. After all he dosen't HAVE to do this. I know you're married and have a child, but it's up to him who he picks. I would just explain it gives you peice of mind, and that people change in a crisis. His parents may not be as understanding as he thinks. I made DH change his paperwork before I let him ride his motorcycle. I just explained it's piece of mind that I would be ok and he agreed. It could just be an oversite, or maybe he really forgot. Either way I would talk to him about it
You are right, he doesn't HAVE to, but when he said (Before we got married and after DD) "I have to make sure I change my beneficiary, because god forbid anything should happen to me, you and Milani won't have anything to worry about", I think that qualifies me to be upset.
It's frustrating. Just to prove the point, I left my beneficiary papers out because I just happened to receive them yesterday showing him that HE is the main one, then my son and DD.
Message edited 11/10/2007 6:11:30 PM.
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| Posted 11/10/07 5:57 PM |
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mitabtrfly
Member since 12/06 2770 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you be upset if after a year of marriage and having a child your DH didn't have you or your DC as a beneficiary?
Posted by Goldi0218
As much as I hate to say this, when a person passes away, settling an estate can truly tear a family apart. It can bring the absolute WORST out in people. If by any chance the named beneficiary and the spouse or true next of kin are not on good terms, one can be in for one heck of a fight. This is something that nobody should have to deal with while they are grieving for the one they lost. Nobody likes to think about death when they are in healthy and new realtionships, but it is really important.
Within a few weeks of our return from our honeymoon, we not only settled our beneficiaries, but secured burial plots for each other. Very morbid, but if not settled now, I could feasibly spend eternity in a place I don't want to be.
Thank you!!
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| Posted 11/10/07 5:59 PM |
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lucyloo
nope
Member since 1/06 9758 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you be upset if after a year of marriage and having a child your DH didn't have you or your DC as a beneficiary?
Posted by kerrycec03
Posted by Wendy
I wouldn't be upset but now that you've discussed it, I would make sure it was done ASAP.
me too. I wouldn't be upset
Ditto.
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| Posted 11/10/07 6:00 PM |
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meghanmetz
LIF Adolescent
Member since 5/05 525 total posts
Name:
Meghan
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Re: Would you be upset if after a year of marriage and having a child your DH didn't have you or your DC as a beneficiary?
I'd be uber pi$$ed, and while I would like to *hope* my in laws would do the right thing, money does terrible things to people.
Message edited 11/10/2007 6:05:46 PM.
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| Posted 11/10/07 6:05 PM |
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