Re: Would you change your plans to TTC b/c of your best friend’s wedding?

my best friend is getting married Dec. 5, I am in her wedding party...I am not putting off TTC and she knows this and doesn't expect me to.

I wouldn't put it off, you never know.

Re: Would you change your plans to TTC b/c of your best friend’s wedding?

Posted by siffleuse319

I have a different answer, and your decision will depend on a lot of factors. Here's my story and rationale. I am in my brother's October 09 wedding. I did not want to deliver a baby in September or October or November (although we did BD a lot in Feb, for a 11/09 baby, but not to TTC ). My younger brother deserves for the whole family to fully participate in his wedding and all events leading up to it. He has walked in my shadow a lot of his life and I didn't want him to feel that way during his wedding. For me it meant not TTC for 2-3 months..... What if I was on bed rest, What if I was still in the hospital, What if my parents had to decide to be with me or at his wedding/RD/Day After Brunch? What if? What if? The chances of doom are so slim, but they are still there and I'm not willing to risk it. His wedding is just too important. I didn't want to steal his thunder in any way. He deserves to have the undivided attention of those he loves and who love him. Yes, a wedding and a baby are two of life's greatest joys and the family would be inundated with happiness. But they will be happy for me when my time comes. I have the authority to decide when NOT to conceive and I chose to exercise it for his wedding. He's my only brother. He would never ask me to put my TTC plans on hold, but I feel it is my duty as a loving sister to fully be there for him and to do everything in my power to ensure that I'll be there. It's not a matter of "don't put your life on hold for anyone else"....it's "what's 2 months of my time, I love my brother, I want to fully participate in everything, and I don't want to distract my family away from him". I saw it as an obligation and a small effort on my part.
Now mind you...I wouldn't do this for just anyone. Oh No!!! But I do think that there are people in life who we have to bend and twist ourselves and our choices for. I consider my brother one of those people and I'm happy to bend in his honor.
Thanks for reading if you've gotten this far!!

Re: Would you change your plans to TTC b/c of your best friend’s wedding?

Posted by thiadora

Posted by siffleuse319

I have a different answer, and your decision will depend on a lot of factors. Here's my story and rationale. I am in my brother's October 09 wedding. I did not want to deliver a baby in September or October or November (although we did BD a lot in Feb, for a 11/09 baby, but not to TTC ). My younger brother deserves for the whole family to fully participate in his wedding and all events leading up to it. He has walked in my shadow a lot of his life and I didn't want him to feel that way during his wedding. For me it meant not TTC for 2-3 months..... What if I was on bed rest, What if I was still in the hospital, What if my parents had to decide to be with me or at his wedding/RD/Day After Brunch? What if? What if? The chances of doom are so slim, but they are still there and I'm not willing to risk it. His wedding is just too important. I didn't want to steal his thunder in any way. He deserves to have the undivided attention of those he loves and who love him. Yes, a wedding and a baby are two of life's greatest joys and the family would be inundated with happiness. But they will be happy for me when my time comes. I have the authority to decide when NOT to conceive and I chose to exercise it for his wedding. He's my only brother. He would never ask me to put my TTC plans on hold, but I feel it is my duty as a loving sister to fully be there for him and to do everything in my power to ensure that I'll be there. It's not a matter of "don't put your life on hold for anyone else"....it's "what's 2 months of my time, I love my brother, I want to fully participate in everything, and I don't want to distract my family away from him". I saw it as an obligation and a small effort on my part.
Now mind you...I wouldn't do this for just anyone. Oh No!!! But I do think that there are people in life who we have to bend and twist ourselves and our choices for. I consider my brother one of those people and I'm happy to bend in his honor.
Thanks for reading if you've gotten this far!!

I'm with you on this. I did work my TTC plans around my sister's June 2007 wedding. In my view, she's only going to get married once and this one day is very important to her. It was also very important to me that I participate in her day. (If my BF from childhood every gets married, I will do the same for her because she has gone above and beyond for me in so many ways and I 100% want to be there.) [And neither of these people did or would ask me to put my plans on hold for them. It was me who felt it was important to be there.]

Ultimately I ended up being PG the last cycle we would try before taking a break. So I was 7 wks PP at her wedding.

Re: Would you change your plans to TTC b/c of your best friend’s wedding?

Re: Would you change your plans to TTC b/c of your best friend’s wedding?

I would not postpone TTC for anyone.

Re: Would you change your plans to TTC b/c of your best friend’s wedding?

Posted by thiadora

Posted by siffleuse319

I have a different answer, and your decision will depend on a lot of factors. Here's my story and rationale. I am in my brother's October 09 wedding. I did not want to deliver a baby in September or October or November (although we did BD a lot in Feb, for a 11/09 baby, but not to TTC ). My younger brother deserves for the whole family to fully participate in his wedding and all events leading up to it. He has walked in my shadow a lot of his life and I didn't want him to feel that way during his wedding. For me it meant not TTC for 2-3 months..... What if I was on bed rest, What if I was still in the hospital, What if my parents had to decide to be with me or at his wedding/RD/Day After Brunch? What if? What if? The chances of doom are so slim, but they are still there and I'm not willing to risk it. His wedding is just too important. I didn't want to steal his thunder in any way. He deserves to have the undivided attention of those he loves and who love him. Yes, a wedding and a baby are two of life's greatest joys and the family would be inundated with happiness. But they will be happy for me when my time comes. I have the authority to decide when NOT to conceive and I chose to exercise it for his wedding. He's my only brother. He would never ask me to put my TTC plans on hold, but I feel it is my duty as a loving sister to fully be there for him and to do everything in my power to ensure that I'll be there. It's not a matter of "don't put your life on hold for anyone else"....it's "what's 2 months of my time, I love my brother, I want to fully participate in everything, and I don't want to distract my family away from him". I saw it as an obligation and a small effort on my part.
Now mind you...I wouldn't do this for just anyone. Oh No!!! But I do think that there are people in life who we have to bend and twist ourselves and our choices for. I consider my brother one of those people and I'm happy to bend in his honor.
Thanks for reading if you've gotten this far!!

I'm with you on this. I did work my TTC plans around my sister's June 2007 wedding. In my view, she's only going to get married once and this one day is very important to her. It was also very important to me that I participate in her day. (If my BF from childhood every gets married, I will do the same for her because she has gone above and beyond for me in so many ways and I 100% want to be there.) [And neither of these people did or would ask me to put my plans on hold for them. It was me who felt it was important to be there.]

Ultimately I ended up being PG the last cycle we would try before taking a break. So I was 7 wks PP at her wedding.

Re: Would you change your plans to TTC b/c of your best friend’s wedding?

Posted by CrankyPants

Posted by thiadora

Posted by siffleuse319

I have a different answer, and your decision will depend on a lot of factors. Here's my story and rationale. I am in my brother's October 09 wedding. I did not want to deliver a baby in September or October or November (although we did BD a lot in Feb, for a 11/09 baby, but not to TTC ). My younger brother deserves for the whole family to fully participate in his wedding and all events leading up to it. He has walked in my shadow a lot of his life and I didn't want him to feel that way during his wedding. For me it meant not TTC for 2-3 months..... What if I was on bed rest, What if I was still in the hospital, What if my parents had to decide to be with me or at his wedding/RD/Day After Brunch? What if? What if? The chances of doom are so slim, but they are still there and I'm not willing to risk it. His wedding is just too important. I didn't want to steal his thunder in any way. He deserves to have the undivided attention of those he loves and who love him. Yes, a wedding and a baby are two of life's greatest joys and the family would be inundated with happiness. But they will be happy for me when my time comes. I have the authority to decide when NOT to conceive and I chose to exercise it for his wedding. He's my only brother. He would never ask me to put my TTC plans on hold, but I feel it is my duty as a loving sister to fully be there for him and to do everything in my power to ensure that I'll be there. It's not a matter of "don't put your life on hold for anyone else"....it's "what's 2 months of my time, I love my brother, I want to fully participate in everything, and I don't want to distract my family away from him". I saw it as an obligation and a small effort on my part.
Now mind you...I wouldn't do this for just anyone. Oh No!!! But I do think that there are people in life who we have to bend and twist ourselves and our choices for. I consider my brother one of those people and I'm happy to bend in his honor.
Thanks for reading if you've gotten this far!!

I'm with you on this. I did work my TTC plans around my sister's June 2007 wedding. In my view, she's only going to get married once and this one day is very important to her. It was also very important to me that I participate in her day. (If my BF from childhood every gets married, I will do the same for her because she has gone above and beyond for me in so many ways and I 100% want to be there.) [And neither of these people did or would ask me to put my plans on hold for them. It was me who felt it was important to be there.]

Ultimately I ended up being PG the last cycle we would try before taking a break. So I was 7 wks PP at her wedding.

I guess the reason why so many say not to put your plans on hold is because you really have no idea how long it will take to get pregnant.

For some it happens right away, for others is takes longer and there are questions that may need to be answered, testing that may need to be done, etc etc etc. If you are really ready to TTC and you put your plans on hold for someone else you risk not having solutions sooner rather than later should there be any issues.

I don't think it makes you less of a loving sister not to want to put that on hold. I also don't agree that a baby takes away from someone else's wedding day-even with any of the potential situations mentioned. I think both events can be equally special, even if concurrent.

I see what you guys are saying, but I think that for me I could never ask anyone to plan their family around my wedding and I would hope that my siblings, friends would feel the same way.

Re: Would you change your plans to TTC b/c of your best friend’s wedding?

honestly, I would probably wait the 1-2 months. It's only 2 months.

You could get pregnant right away. You never know.


You need to be okay with your choice either way...

a) not waiting - you need to be okay with being 9 months pregnant @ her wedding. The possibility of missing her wedding because of the pregnancy. Or just being uncomfortable in that dress and everything else involved in the wedding. Or it could all be fine.

b) waiting - if it doesn't happen for a while, you need to be okay with having passed on 2 months.

I only say wait because you would be due right around her wedding.

I had a 7 & 8 month pregnant bridesmaids at my wedding. They were okay ( a little tired). But both of them hate themselves in all the wedding pics (which I think is silly).

Good Luck whatever you decide.

Re: Would you change your plans to TTC b/c of your best friend’s wedding?

Posted by thiadora

Posted by CrankyPants

Posted by thiadora

Posted by siffleuse319

I have a different answer, and your decision will depend on a lot of factors. Here's my story and rationale. I am in my brother's October 09 wedding. I did not want to deliver a baby in September or October or November (although we did BD a lot in Feb, for a 11/09 baby, but not to TTC ). My younger brother deserves for the whole family to fully participate in his wedding and all events leading up to it. He has walked in my shadow a lot of his life and I didn't want him to feel that way during his wedding. For me it meant not TTC for 2-3 months..... What if I was on bed rest, What if I was still in the hospital, What if my parents had to decide to be with me or at his wedding/RD/Day After Brunch? What if? What if? The chances of doom are so slim, but they are still there and I'm not willing to risk it. His wedding is just too important. I didn't want to steal his thunder in any way. He deserves to have the undivided attention of those he loves and who love him. Yes, a wedding and a baby are two of life's greatest joys and the family would be inundated with happiness. But they will be happy for me when my time comes. I have the authority to decide when NOT to conceive and I chose to exercise it for his wedding. He's my only brother. He would never ask me to put my TTC plans on hold, but I feel it is my duty as a loving sister to fully be there for him and to do everything in my power to ensure that I'll be there. It's not a matter of "don't put your life on hold for anyone else"....it's "what's 2 months of my time, I love my brother, I want to fully participate in everything, and I don't want to distract my family away from him". I saw it as an obligation and a small effort on my part.
Now mind you...I wouldn't do this for just anyone. Oh No!!! But I do think that there are people in life who we have to bend and twist ourselves and our choices for. I consider my brother one of those people and I'm happy to bend in his honor.
Thanks for reading if you've gotten this far!!

I'm with you on this. I did work my TTC plans around my sister's June 2007 wedding. In my view, she's only going to get married once and this one day is very important to her. It was also very important to me that I participate in her day. (If my BF from childhood every gets married, I will do the same for her because she has gone above and beyond for me in so many ways and I 100% want to be there.) [And neither of these people did or would ask me to put my plans on hold for them. It was me who felt it was important to be there.]

Ultimately I ended up being PG the last cycle we would try before taking a break. So I was 7 wks PP at her wedding.

I guess the reason why so many say not to put your plans on hold is because you really have no idea how long it will take to get pregnant.

For some it happens right away, for others is takes longer and there are questions that may need to be answered, testing that may need to be done, etc etc etc. If you are really ready to TTC and you put your plans on hold for someone else you risk not having solutions sooner rather than later should there be any issues.

I don't think it makes you less of a loving sister not to want to put that on hold. I also don't agree that a baby takes away from someone else's wedding day-even with any of the potential situations mentioned. I think both events can be equally special, even if concurrent.

I see what you guys are saying, but I think that for me I could never ask anyone to plan their family around my wedding and I would hope that my siblings, friends would feel the same way.

I know that the decision that I made was the minority one. I happen to agree with everything you are saying about why one would not put off TTCing. And if someone ever told me not to TTC because of an event that they expected me to attend, I would find that very insulting. I am only sharing because when I read posts I like to see the different perspectives people have (even ones I do not agree with) because it helps me make my decision.

I also hope that you do not think that I am attacking anyone's relationship with their siblings because that is not the case. I am only stating what my own desires were in the situation that I was in.