Would you give a 21 month old a time out?

DS has really been acting out lately so I tried to give him a timeout yesterday. He kept throwing his sippy cup and I would tell him to pick it up and he refused. He would just throw it again. I looked at him very seriously, and practically yelled at him (but not screaming - I was stern), and put him in the naughty spot telling him why I was putting him in timeout. He thought it was funny and started laughing. He kept trying to walk away and I kept putting him back. He would just laugh and smile at me. He really had no idea that he was supposedly being punished. He thought it was a game when I kept putting him back. He also thought it was a game when I would tell him to pick up the cup. He just kept laughing everytime I asked. Let me tell you girls....I definitely was not lauging or giving him any indication that it was funny. What am I doing wrong? Is it too soon?

Re: Would you give a 21 month old a time out?

The do find it funny at first. He may be too young. Next time, I would just eliminate the sippy cup and not give it back to him. I bet he'll understand you then.

Re: Would you give a 21 month old a time out?

Message edited 4/12/2008 8:31:04 AM.

Re: Would you give a 21 month old a time out?

I read somewhere that if you do time out, you can only do the # of minutes of their age.. so i guess for a 21m old i guess 2mins would be the length, which i say why bother then.. and how is a 6 yr old learn from a 6min time out??

I agree with previous poster, just take away sippy cup.

Re: Would you give a 21 month old a time out?

My DC are almost 19 months and I started "time out" (we call it the "naughty square") at 18 months. It has been very effective! I used a play yard that was an octagon and made a square out of it. I put them in there for about a minute...now DD cries when DS is put in the naughty square, so I know she understands.

Just the "threat" of "naughty square" is now enough...No, No...please stop. Mommy said no, please don't make me put you in the naughty square...(that usually does the trick)

Re: Would you give a 21 month old a time out?

At 22 months, time outs don't work here. If you acts crazy say throwing his thomas trains all over the place , I just take them away. Then he cries, gives me a hug and says sorry.

Re: Would you give a 21 month old a time out?

I haven't had much luck with timeouts, planning to try it again now that DS is a little older (2yrs 1month). Like the previous post said, I have better luck just taking away the item as a "consequence".

Re: Would you give a 21 month old a time out?

Now I know how my mom felt when she would threaten to disapline me and I would laugh at her.

I got worked up over a stupid sippy cup!!! It was one of those days!

Re: Would you give a 21 month old a time out?

Michael is 20 months today and he has been getting time outs. His time out consists of going into his pack n play and staying there until mommy decides to take him out.

Re: Would you give a 21 month old a time out?

We do the naughty step in my house and it does work for us. He does know he is being punished and he does come around to us and say "sorry Mommy" Whether or not he means it is another story, but I think it does work. He knows he is in trouble. I give him some warning and if he keeps up the naughty behaviour, he goes to sit on the step.

Re: Would you give a 21 month old a time out?

I think timeouts are appropriate as early as 18 months. 1-2 min is a long time when they are that young. However, I don't really think its appropriate in that situation. Taking away the sippy cup seems like a better approach.

Re: Would you give a 21 month old a time out?

DS was running from the TO corner too and I felt like he wasn't getting it. One day I decided to put him on the bed in the guest room. I know not the best idea but he will not get down from the bed by himself because he is scared to fall so I knew he would stay. Well it has worked for stopping habits but he doesn't stop in his tracks if I give him his warning. DS will be 2 on Sunday.
With the sippy cup I take it away when he throws it off the high chair.

Re: Would you give a 21 month old a time out?

Here’s behavior mod 101…..

a time out is short for a "time out from positive reinforcement"

time out is an effective procedure for attention seeking behaviors in addition to when a person may be inappropriate when engaging in specific reinforcing activities. its a punishment which should decrease the targeted behavior. if it doesnt your not "timing the behavior out" you are reinforcing it.

time out isnt a place, its an interval of time. its not a room, a staircase or a chair.

for example, our daughter likes to get too close to our 50 inch flat screen while watching dora. dh will turn it off. and she will immediately go sit down on her little couch and then dh puts it back on.

if your holding your child and they bite and you yell and you find them laughing and doing it more, you can make the assumption that it may be an attention seeking behavior.

that being said an effective approach may be to put your child down, and walk away for a short interval, returning to them when they are appropriate. if they have the words, teach them what to say.

The problem with using punishment tech is that the behavior comes back as the effect is short lived. You need to teach a replacement behavior and use non contingent reinforcement or “catch them being good!”

Todays lesson was brought to you by the proud parents of a former biter who learned how to bite by inappropriate use of time outs in her former child care environment.

Message edited 4/11/2008 11:01:12 PM.

Re: Would you give a 21 month old a time out?

I give DD Time Outs and she's 16 months old, I've only been doing it about a month, since she learned to walk.

Re: Would you give a 21 month old a time out?

My son is 22 months and gets time outs of 1 minute. I know he's closer to 2 yrs old but 1 minute is sufficient. He gets it. I have 2 older kids so maybe it's bc it's not so new to him. The laughing seems norma - my older son did that and so did my daughter - my DS #2 actually weeps like you are torturing him (he's a sensitive soul) but I know he knows when he is doing wrong with certain things - he gives me the look to see if I see him before he does it so I know. I think with certain things like a sippy, I'd just take it away but if he's doing something where you can't remove the problem (ie, climbing on the table) I'd try distraction or saying no a couple times and then do the time out if need be. I try not to overdo the timeouts otherwise I find them ineffective.

Re: Would you give a 21 month old a time out?

sure. we've been using them for months. we give several warnings first, then it's time out on the stairs for one minute. i hold her down on the step as she complains, then yells, then cries., which I don't mind because i want her to be unhappy there- she's being punished & she knows it. harsh maybe, but she's learning about consequences. when it's over i give her a big hug & a kiss and tell her how much i love her. then we get another toy & play together. she's become very familiar with the scenario. she even puts her winnie the pooh in time out occassionally (i'm not sure what he did wrong though ). Sometimes when I give her the warning, she'll stop, sometimes she won't. I keep doing it though. Mostly for throwing her blocks or hitting me or the dog. With other stuff I take the toy away & distract her with something else. I try to use time outs sparingly.

ETA: If I didn't hold DD on the step, she'd get up and walk away of course, which is why I hold her there. Could you try that?

Also, DD says "No no Abby, no throwing Abby" as she's throwing her blocks all over the playroom. It's so hard not to laugh! Then when I walk in and she sees me, she pulls a "Hi Mommy" with a hug & a kiss. She's killing me!

Message edited 4/12/2008 9:40:46 PM.

Re: Would you give a 21 month old a time out?

I live in a ranch so I dont have a step. I think I really need to get a visual naughty spot and not just put DS in the corner.

I think my problem really is that he doesnt really realize he is being punished. He really laughs when I put him there because he thinks it is a game. I could try holding him there but I dont want him to get used to that either. Does your DC ever stay there without being held? I dont want to be outright mean but I just dont know how else to get the point across that he is being punished and this is not a game. I mean he wasnt being malicious by laughing at me. It really was that he had absolutely no idea he was being punished. Does that change? Or do I need to try something else?

Re: Would you give a 21 month old a time out?

I've been doing them since he turned 1. It's worked for us but now that he's getting older (he's 22 months) I think he's understanding it more and is crying when he gets a timout. He makes several attempts to walk away from the timeout but I firmly tell him to go back and he'll go back and cry. We usually do it for 2-3 minutes. Then when the time is up I hold my arms out and he comes running with tears in his eyes into my arms.

Re: Would you give a 21 month old a time out?

Re: Would you give a 21 month old a time out?

From 18 - 24 months my boys would not sit in a time out, but I placed them on my lap facing out and held them there silently for the minute and a half. It really helped to calm them down and wokred for us.

At 2 we started doing it on a chair and they would at that point stay.