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greenfreak
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Member since 9/06 11483 total posts
Name:
greenfreak
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Re: Would you give what you got? (wedding related)
If I was in your shoes, I would give more than he did, less than normal. It's a nice middle ground.
With me, it depends on the person and my history with them. In the past my generosity has been taken advantage of, so I adopted a standard "accepted" amount for weddings, regardless of the per-plate price or my own expenses to attend.
If it's someone very close to me, and present in my life currently, I give more.
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Posted 10/9/06 9:41 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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Lichi
what what!?
Member since 5/05 4206 total posts
Name:
Lissette
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Re: Would you give what you got? (wedding related)
Like you, Sandra, I always give a generous gift as well. However, when I've gone to people's weddings who gave a modest gift, I would STILL give more than they gave us, but not as generous as other people.
I think that you shouldn't give what he gave, but just give a little more (maybe $50-100 more). One, being that you would normally do more in the gift, it's best to keep that somewhat going because you like to be generous. And two, if by chance he DOES remember what he gave you, you don't want to make it seem like you're throwing it in his face if you give the same or ridiculously more.
HTH!
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| Posted 10/9/06 10:01 AM |
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KGools
Happy
Member since 9/06 9532 total posts
Name:
Kim
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Re: Would you give what you got? (wedding related)
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
I would give what I normally give when I go to a wedding.
JMO
Absolutely. Weddings aren't tit-for-tat... you give what you can and what you want. Do what you feel is appropriate for this close friend of yours.
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| Posted 10/9/06 10:09 AM |
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LAMGAJ28
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Member since 10/05 6039 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you give what you got? (wedding related)
Posted by prncssrachel
I say just because he knows now what a wedding costs doesn't necessarily mean he knew THEN what it costs. He has a fiance now who can tell him how much these things are
Just give him what you'd normally give for a wedding. Remember, you never really know a person's financial situaiton. My bestfriend makes over 100K a year and has almost nothing to his name after he pays his student loans, rent, credit cards, utilites, etc., so it is possible for someone to make a great living, but still not have a lot of extra cash.
Couldn't agree more. I was also thinking the same thing about him knowing now but not knowing at the time of your wedding. Give him the benefit of the doubt plus you can never really tell someone's financial situation..especially these days....
And I'd give exactly what I'd give if I go to a wedding and would not give back what they gave me. I usually give according to the relationship that I have with the person and not with what they gave me.
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| Posted 10/9/06 10:22 AM |
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MrsS2005
Mom of 3
Member since 11/05 13118 total posts
Name:
B
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Re: Would you give what you got? (wedding related)
I generally believe you should give what you get within reason. If someone was extremely generous and you cannot afford to give a comparable gift, then I think you should give what you can afford. If someone was extremely cheap, I wouldn't feel comfortable giving the same amount, but I'd probably buy a reasonably priced gift instead of giving money.
We usually give a generous amount, but we'll adjust it depending on our relationship with the couple. I don't see a problem with basing your gift on what you received in the past. I don't think it necessarily means tit for tat, but think it's fine to give a lower amount than you usually give.
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| Posted 10/9/06 10:23 AM |
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lilacwine
only love...
Member since 5/05 2034 total posts
Name:
<3
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Re: Would you give what you got? (wedding related)
I was a BM for one of my college friends in 1997. I bought a BM dress, hair/nails, stayed overnight at a hotel by myself and went solo to her wedding. I wasn't even able to afford my own apartment at the time.
Apparently, I gave $50 because that's what I got in return as a gift from that friend and her husband at my wedding in 2005. They basically live in a mansion now. 
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| Posted 10/9/06 10:31 AM |
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Jillysmom
We made it to 8 years
Member since 5/05 1134 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: Would you give what you got? (wedding related)
Posted by HillandRon
whatever was given to me at my wedding, that couple will get the same back.
This is the same rule I use for all of the gifts my son gets for his birthdays, bris, etc...
If he knows what it costs for a wedding, then he knows he will get back what he gave...
In fact, my mother is always calling me to ask what so and so gave for the my wedding so she knows how much to give back.. Thank goodness, i still keep the list
Me too.. Both sets of parents ask me all the time what i got for my shower, engagment, wedding, baby girts.. all the time
The only time I give more is if the person came alone to my wedding
Message edited 10/9/2006 6:51:50 PM.
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| Posted 10/9/06 6:50 PM |
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