Would you take a 3 1/2 year old to a funeral?

I say no but my DH thinks its fine to take our DD to a relative's funeral. She doesn't know this relative but will see people she knows crying, a coffin, and there will potentially be a wake too. This will be 3 hours away so I say we leave her with MIL.

Plus I don't want her to misbehave or be running around having fun while some relatives are devastated.

DH thinks she will help cheer people up.

What do you guys think?

Re: Would you take a 3 1/2 year old to a funeral?

There were many children (age 2 weeks-14 years old) at my sons funeral. It didn't bug my DH or I to have any of them there (and some of the kids we had never met). It was the first/only funeral I have attended so I am not sure if its the norm.

Re: Would you take a 3 1/2 year old to a funeral?

It depends if it's open coffin & the circumstances of the death. I'd probably leave a 3.5 year old home only because I wouldn't want to deal with the death questions so early.

Although my kids are overly facinated with death & they've never been to a funeral or wake.

Re: Would you take a 3 1/2 year old to a funeral?

I personally would avoid it but I know people that have.

Re: Would you take a 3 1/2 year old to a funeral?

I only have a young toddler and he has been to every funeral we attended in the past year. (FIL's funeral, Friend's grandparents, etc.)

I say to bring your child, if you want to deal with your child. If you think she will annoy you, then she may annoy others. The 3 hour car ride has me wondering if it would be good to do.

As for the coffin: They don't know what it is. They just think somebody is sleeping. And if she doesn't know them, she probably won't try to wake them.


I can tell you that at FIL's funeral: a few kids did come and people were smiling at them. (Including DS, but he was his only grandchild, so of course he'd be there) I wouldn't think twice about bringing your child to a funeral, although the car ride might make me change my mind, especially having someone to watch her.

Message edited 12/14/2008 8:19:05 PM.

Re: Would you take a 3 1/2 year old to a funeral?

My DH's aunt passed away and we brought DS to the funeral (not the wake though). He was at the funeral home before we left for the church and he had questions, so we just answered them as best we could. He was fine with it - just curious. And he did make people smile during a very sad time.

Re: Would you take a 3 1/2 year old to a funeral?

Thank you everyone for your responses and sharing your experiences...and I'm sorry for all of your losses.

Re: Would you take a 3 1/2 year old to a funeral?

For a close relative I might but not for someone she doesn't know well. If you could leave her with your MIL, that's what I would do.

Re: Would you take a 3 1/2 year old to a funeral?

I wouldn't take her, especially since you have someone that can watch her.