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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name:
Diana
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You knew this was coming - do you bring a 1 year old to a wake and funeral
The wake is only going to be one day. DH is taking a class this entire week that he cannot miss. I would take Jack to the daytime session and then have one of my aunts or friends watch him at night (he's sleeping by 6:30 so I would put him to bed and head back to Queens)
That's fine - but now - what the heck do I do for the funeral? My entire family will be there so I don't have anyone to watch him really. Friends all work. In-laws have too much going on. Is it bad to bring him to the funeral too? I am hoping that my DH can take off of class for the funeral so he would be there to help out. UGH - I don't know what to do.
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Posted 7/21/08 11:25 AM  |
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nbc188
Best friends!
Member since 12/06 23090 total posts
Name:
C
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Re: You knew this was coming - do you bring a 1 year old to a wake and funeral
 I would take him to the funeral. It sounds like your grandpa would have wanted him there. Aren't there a lot of kids in your family that will be there, so he wouldn't be the only one? So even if there are peeps/noises from the kids, it would be ok, since it's family, KWIM?
DD was eerily still & quiet at my grandmother's funeral the other day, even though she was way overdue for a nap. It was weird.
What day is the funeral? If it's Friday, I'd be happy to watch Jack for you!
Message edited 7/21/2008 11:28:28 AM.
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| Posted 7/21/08 11:27 AM |
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FelAndJon
needs to update her avatar pic
Member since 6/05 10212 total posts
Name:
Felice (aka LuckyBride2004)
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Re: You knew this was coming - do you bring a 1 year old to a wake and funeral
I have brought Jeremy to both wakes as well as to funerals. He has been to a grave site only when he was very little in a sling. You might want to stay in the car with him (or have someone stay in the car with him) at the grave site if possible.
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| Posted 7/21/08 11:28 AM |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: You knew this was coming - do you bring a 1 year old to a wake and funeral
Posted by nbc188
I would take him to the funeral. It sounds like your grandpa would have wanted him there. Aren't there a lot of kids in your family that will be there, so he wouldn't be the only one?
DD was eerily still & quiet at my grandmother's funeral the other day, even though she was way overdue for a nap. It was weird.
What day is the funeral? If it's Friday, I'd be happy to watch Jack for you!
Thanks sweetie! It's Thursday. We have alot of kids in the family but they are older than Jack. My one cousin won't bring his kids (they are 7 and 5) he doesn't want them to remember Grandpa like that. My other cousin will bring her three kids to the wake during the day also (4 and 3 yrs old) but she has great inlaws who will take the kids no problem. My other cousin won't bring her son (he's 6 and his MIL will watch him)
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| Posted 7/21/08 11:30 AM |
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nbc188
Best friends!
Member since 12/06 23090 total posts
Name:
C
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Re: You knew this was coming - do you bring a 1 year old to a wake and funeral
Posted by Diana1215
Posted by nbc188
I would take him to the funeral. It sounds like your grandpa would have wanted him there. Aren't there a lot of kids in your family that will be there, so he wouldn't be the only one?
DD was eerily still & quiet at my grandmother's funeral the other day, even though she was way overdue for a nap. It was weird.
What day is the funeral? If it's Friday, I'd be happy to watch Jack for you!
Thanks sweetie! It's Thursday. We have alot of kids in the family but they are older than Jack. My one cousin won't bring his kids (they are 7 and 5) he doesn't want them to remember Grandpa like that. My other cousin will bring her three kids to the wake during the day also (4 and 3 yrs old) but she has great inlaws who will take the kids no problem. My other cousin won't bring her son (he's 6 and his MIL will watch him)
I say that if you want him to go, take him. Thankfully he's too young to realize what's going on, so that he won't be upset by seeing him that way, you know? I really say you should take him if you want him to be there. I'm glad DD was at my grandmother's. She served as a bright spot to my mom, sister, aunts/etc...I know Jack will do the same! 
By the way, your grandpa looks like he was small (you know what I mean, as people age they get smaller?) in those pictures, but he must have been strong to hold your big boy-- what great pictures
Message edited 7/21/2008 11:34:36 AM.
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| Posted 7/21/08 11:33 AM |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: You knew this was coming - do you bring a 1 year old to a wake and funeral
Posted by nbc188
Posted by Diana1215
Posted by nbc188
I would take him to the funeral. It sounds like your grandpa would have wanted him there. Aren't there a lot of kids in your family that will be there, so he wouldn't be the only one?
DD was eerily still & quiet at my grandmother's funeral the other day, even though she was way overdue for a nap. It was weird.
What day is the funeral? If it's Friday, I'd be happy to watch Jack for you!
Thanks sweetie! It's Thursday. We have alot of kids in the family but they are older than Jack. My one cousin won't bring his kids (they are 7 and 5) he doesn't want them to remember Grandpa like that. My other cousin will bring her three kids to the wake during the day also (4 and 3 yrs old) but she has great inlaws who will take the kids no problem. My other cousin won't bring her son (he's 6 and his MIL will watch him)
I say that if you want him to go, take him. Thankfully he's too young to realize what's going on, so that he won't be upset by seeing him that way, you know? I really say you should take him if you want him to be there. I'm glad DD was at my grandmother's. She served as a bright spot to my mom, sister, aunts/etc...I know Jack will do the same!
By the way, your grandpa looks like he was small (you know what I mean, as people age they get smaller?) in those pictures, but he must have been strong to hold your big boy-- what great pictures
I know - I just worry about if he acts up during the mass - I will want to be there but will have to maybe take him out. HOPEFULLY DH can get out of class for the few hours - that will solve all of my problems. Keep your fingers crossed!
He was little lol - but def. strong. It was the last 4 months or so when he deteriorated. I didn't even take pics of the last couple of times we were there with Jack bc it's too sad to remember him like that.  
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| Posted 7/21/08 11:36 AM |
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wynter323
Couple more days.
Member since 7/07 1319 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: You knew this was coming - do you bring a 1 year old to a wake and funeral
I would take him to the funeral.
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| Posted 7/21/08 11:36 AM |
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cgdg61606
Little Brother Christopher
Member since 2/07 6815 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: You knew this was coming - do you bring a 1 year old to a wake and funeral
I would bring him since it's his great- grandpa.
I brought Thomas to my grandmother's funeral.
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| Posted 7/21/08 11:39 AM |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: You knew this was coming - do you bring a 1 year old to a wake and funeral
DH spoke to the teacher and he can make the mass - thank god - so I will be taking Jack. Thanks for all of the input girls! 
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| Posted 7/21/08 11:43 AM |
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Kate
*****
Member since 5/05 7557 total posts
Name:
Kate
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Re: You knew this was coming - do you bring a 1 year old to a wake and funeral
I see no problem with bringing him to both. Sorry for your loss.
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| Posted 7/21/08 11:45 AM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: You knew this was coming - do you bring a 1 year old to a wake and funeral
Yes. Bring him. If it's an open casket, he will think he's sleeping. You can keep him out of the room if you're worried about his reaction. I'm sure there will be a number of relatives that will watch him for you.
He will also be a great source of comfort to your parents & could serve as a wonderful distraction if they need it.
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| Posted 7/21/08 11:45 AM |
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Sassyz75
Turning a new page
Member since 5/05 9731 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: You knew this was coming - do you bring a 1 year old to a wake and funeral
I took my DD to wake & funeral.... she is just as part of family- so i think she would've been wanted there.
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| Posted 7/21/08 12:00 PM |
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BaroqueMama
Chase is one!
Member since 5/05 27530 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: You knew this was coming - do you bring a 1 year old to a wake and funeral
Yes, when my grandfather died in October, I absolutely brought Ava. Everyone was so happy to have her there. She lifted spirits. I'm so sorry, again, to hear about your grandfather.
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| Posted 7/21/08 12:01 PM |
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pinky
Twin Moms Do Everything Twice
Member since 5/05 9612 total posts
Name:
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Re: You knew this was coming - do you bring a 1 year old to a wake and funeral
I would bring him. I brought my 2 to my grandmothers wake & funeral back in november.
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| Posted 7/21/08 12:03 PM |
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karacg
Babygirl is 4!
Member since 5/05 17076 total posts
Name:
Kara®
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Re: You knew this was coming - do you bring a 1 year old to a wake and funeral
Take him - you can always walk out of the church or away from the gravesite if he gets out of hand.
Grandpa would probably like to "say goodbye" and, I think it is also a bright spot in a gloomy day when people get to see "the next generation" - it gives hope...
I remember when my father died - my niece, 8 years old, was at the wake, playing hostess. She didn't really understand but she was such a bright ray of sunrise to us all!
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| Posted 7/21/08 12:04 PM |
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JenBenMen
party of five
Member since 9/06 11343 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: You knew this was coming - do you bring a 1 year old to a wake and funeral
i have brought DS to two funerals/wakes and it was fine. they dont understand it
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| Posted 7/21/08 12:12 PM |
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nbc188
Best friends!
Member since 12/06 23090 total posts
Name:
C
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Re: You knew this was coming - do you bring a 1 year old to a wake and funeral
Posted by Diana1215
DH spoke to the teacher and he can make the mass - thank god - so I will be taking Jack. Thanks for all of the input girls!
Glad it will work out
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| Posted 7/21/08 12:26 PM |
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