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WWYD?

Posted By Message

rkoenke
my little piggys

Member since 3/08

4315 total posts

Name:
rachel

WWYD?

my girls were playing at the fall festival that i spoke of in another post and wanted to go on a john deere thingy and there were 2 girls on there with the parents there. the girls told my kids "i am going to kill you." my kids came running back and said "those girls are mean, they told us that they wanted to kill us". i confirmed this with both kids (sometimes my kids can tell stories) and the story seemed true.
DH and I told them, "so what! go back and play" they ran over there as the two girls were getting off, and they beat them to it! they got on first.
they stayed on the thing then the parents moved along and so did the other girls.

they came back and told us that they called them cry babies, and my DH told them to go back and tell them "so what, you're ugly!"
Chat Icon

they didn't do it, thankfully, i'd have been mortified.

OK, now i know that's not the way to handle it, but... WWYD?

we want our kids to stick up for themselves, but... DH's way isn't exactly the way i want them to handle it. and... i had no suggestions for them!

ha!

Posted 9/18/10 11:31 PM
 

mathteach
Roll Tide!

Member since 8/08

3169 total posts

Name:
Christine

Re: WWYD?

Sorry, I would've said what you're DH said.Chat Icon

Maybe not ugly, but something similar. Sometimes a flip response is the best, it throws the bully off and then they need time to come up with something else.

Posted 9/19/10 4:34 PM
 

Erica
LIF Adult

Member since 5/05

11767 total posts

Name:

Re: WWYD?

I usually tell DS that sometimes kids have trouble sharing and they say mean things to try to make you leave. And then I say that I'm so proud of him that he can share well and doesn't try to make people feel bad.

I usually try to do this in earshot of the parents.

Posted 9/19/10 4:43 PM
 

hbugal
Lesigh

Member since 2/07

15928 total posts

Name:

Re: WWYD?

For the longest time I taught my children to be nice to others. I never thought about teaching them how to handle all the children out there who had parents who didnt teach them to be nice....

I have to say...I agree with DH...

Why be nice to someone who is being mean to you?

Posted 9/19/10 5:59 PM
 

nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.

Member since 7/05

57538 total posts

Name:

Re: WWYD?

In all seriousness, I've taught my children to talk back.

We've talked about the things kids do & why they're mean - and then we also went the route where we teased back.

"yup, that's right. along with the Chat Icon
and

"Whatever"Chat Icon

The caveat is if they ever use it on me or another adult, they're in trouble.

edited to add:
I know one mom who taught their son to repeat what they said as loud as possible - so everyone around them can hear but not say it in a confrontation way. That was pretty effective.
"I'm sorry. I wasn't sure if I heard you right. DID YOU SAY YOU WERE GOING TO KILL ME?"
"Wait. I wasn't paying attention. DID YOU CALL ME A CRY BABY?"

Message edited 9/19/2010 9:50:17 PM.

Posted 9/19/10 9:48 PM
 

ExpectingJoy
LIF Adolescent

Member since 5/05

751 total posts

Name:
Cari

Re: WWYD?

Posted by nrthshgrl

In all seriousness, I've taught my children to talk back.

We've talked about the things kids do & why they're mean - and then we also went the route where we teased back.

"yup, that's right. along with the Chat Icon
and

"Whatever"Chat Icon

The caveat is if they ever use it on me or another adult, they're in trouble.

edited to add:
I know one mom who taught their son to repeat what they said as loud as possible - so everyone around them can hear but not say it in a confrontation way. That was pretty effective.
"I'm sorry. I wasn't sure if I heard you right. DID YOU SAY YOU WERE GOING TO KILL ME?"
"Wait. I wasn't paying attention. DID YOU CALL ME A CRY BABY?"




This is textbook according to this book I read "Bullyproofing your child for life" by Joel Haber! He basically says that kids who have simple comebacks like "whatever you say" or "omg" with an eyeroll" will never get bullied. They are standing up for themselves. Bullies test which kid will go to pieces and cry or have a wildly inappropriate reaction. This book was great btw!

Posted 9/20/10 7:11 AM
 
 

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