WWYD a friends DS eating concern

My friend had to fire her Nanny last night so I'm watching her DS today. He is 20 months old and I'm concerned about his eating. He still takes 2-5 bottles of milk a day and drinks at least 15 oz of juice. If DD had poops (almost diahrea) like he has had I'd be taking her to the Dr. The amount of milk and juice concerns me.

My bigger concern is how he eats. He seems to STILL have the tongue thrust. I don't see any of the diagonal tongue movement or whatever movement it is once the kids get older. All food gets pushed out of his mouth. I was giving them both yogurt and his tongue pushed on the spoon every time, I probably only got about 1/2 in. He's not underweight by any means but looks like he may be anemic.

Do I just have it really easy with a 2yo DD that has always opened her mouth and eaten well or should there be concern for my friends son? I know we all parent differently and I'm not saying she's doing something wrong. Maybe comparing him to DD isn't what I should be doing.

Re: WWYD a friends DS eating concern

I think it's really great of you to help your friend out like that, first of all Since mine is only 12 months I don't know much about the signs and symptoms you're describing but it does sound like maybe he's a little behind schedule. As to whether it's serious or not, why not just ask your friend, chances are she's aware of the delay (assuming he sees the ped regularly) and she may in fact already be working on it somehow? Also mention the runny poop, who knows that might be a new development, not a regular thing, just run it by her so you're both working with the same information?

Re: WWYD a friends DS eating concern

This isn't parenting differently. This is a health concern. If he's drinking that much milk, he's not eating enough & he's likely anemic (as you've mentioned).

I would absolutely say something - delicately, of course.

Re: WWYD a friends DS eating concern

The tongue thrust should have been lost a long time ago. If this child is still using that, something is off with his eating, though it doesn't mean your friend did anything wrong. Lots of children have trouble with eating and some even need eating therapy--DS is one.

I would mention what you have noticed to your friend and tell her about Early Intervention. They are free, and it doesn't hurt to get an evaluation at any rate. It doesn't sound as if this is a problem that is going to resolve itself easily, nor will your friend know what to do to help her child stop using the tongue thrust.

I wouldn't cut out the milk necessarily--it is a lot, but if DC can't eat much food, he probably still needs the milk. The juice however is way too much--about 4 ounces a day is all a child this age should have, especially if bowel movements are loose. I would try cutting it with water--DS gets 3/4 water, 1/4 juice so he stays hydrated, but he's not filling up with juice.

Re: WWYD a friends DS eating concern

If he is drinking out of a bottle he will have the tongue thrust. That's a given. He never broke the pattern of drinking out of a bottle.

Re: WWYD a friends DS eating concern

We have had lots of eating challenges. I think with my DS some of it might be sensory (aversion to certain textures) and some of it is behavioral.

Anyway, what I wanted to say is that my DS receives EI services and one of the things I was told about improving the eating habits was to drop a bottle. He was having three - one when he woke up, one at lunch and one before bed. He now only has 2 8oz. bottles of milk a day. That's pretty much all he drinks and he is fine - poops regularly, no dehydration, etc. I would be concerned about the amount of liquid too. He is probably drinking too much and not eating enough.

I would mention something about his stools to the mom and see how she reacts. It's tough when you have a kid that won't or can't eat like other kids his age. It's easy to fall into the trap of giving them more milk because you feel like at least they are getting more nutrition than from goldfish or toast, but if you don't cut back on it, there is no incentive for the child to start eating new things.

Re: WWYD a friends DS eating concern

Yes, I forgot to mention, the bottles should be dropped at this point. Does DC use a cup at all or only drink out of bottles?

And I agree with the PP--it is easy to fall into a trap of too many fluids when your child isn't eating like other children his/her age because you become worried that they aren't eating enough.

Re: WWYD a friends DS eating concern

Thanks for the input everybody!

He drinks milk from bottles and juice from sippy cups. I'm going to mention the stool and juice issue (as I would expect a sitter to tell me if DD's stools were like this). I'm delicately going to ask if her ped says anything about the tongue thrust. I know she skipped is 15 and 18 month visits because she didn't want him to get vaccinated. I'm going to gently urge her to go and talk about her DS's eating but not push her too hard, it's up to her. I think because he's the only kid she feeds she may not realize that there could be an issue. Let me tell you today, has made me see what an easy child DD really is. I have to hand it to most other parents, I didn't know how good I had it.

She knows we had DD evaluated through EI for her gross motor skill at 17 months and although she didn't qualify for services it was such a comprehensive eval and FREE, I'll mention it and again do it delicately.

Thank you, thank you, again for the input. This was a tough enough day with 2 toddlers and I got so worried when I saw how this sweet little guy eats.

Now he's napping in our playroom and she's upstairs singing in her crib...go to sleep little girl!