Wwyd re: neighbors son

So, ds has made friends with my neighbor and friends son who is 8 (ds is 5). Unfortunately, my neighbors son has some definite social issues and I am sure has difficulty making friends. They don't really have play dates with other kids his age and don't really ever socialize. In fact he only recently started coming outside to play when we were outside and stuff (within the last year or so). Anyways the neighbors son engages in behavior that really bothers me with my son and my son doesn't know how to stop it and I'm not sure when to step in. He instigates ds a lot. For example, he will tell him continuously that he is better at something that ds is. Or when we go to the park and ds wants to swing and neighbors son doesn't know how to swing he will then say I want to go home to prompt us to ahe to leave. Or he will touch my son constantly to the point where it annoys my son. Or tell him he looks ugly or something like that to upset him. After seeing him today I had a long talk with ds saying this isn't really what a friend does etc but honestly he didn't get it. This is not like a kid in class because they do see each other all the time. I really like his mother but she doesn't step in all the time. I am just not sure what to do. I'm probably not even explaining it right. Overall I do think this kid wants to be friends with my son but doesn't have the social skills to know how to be a friend. Any suggestions?

Re: Wwyd re: neighbors son

It this was me I would start hanging out on the fringe while my DS was playing with this child and if the neighbors child was saying mean things or acting inappropriately I would step in and say in a nice bur very firm voice what he was doing wrong. If he doesn't get the hint or continues the behavior then I would speak to the mom. There is no way to avoid this seen as you live in the neighborhood so I would address it head on. Good luck

Re: Wwyd re: neighbors son

I would honestly pull away. Not saying it's the right thing to do but I don't prefer my child to be someone's punching bag, no matter what their issues are. It's so tough b/c it's a neighbor who you can't easily avoid.

Wwyd re: neighbors son

Are you friends with the mom? It sounds like the child he has some sort of disability and probably is socially behind his peers. This in no way excuses what he is doing but I'm really surprised that the mom isn't stepping in. He needs to be facilitated in how to play and how to speak to other children. If the mom is not forthcoming then I would tell your child to be more vocal and tell the other child not to touch him or tell him that is not how we speak to friends. If you are there and hear the child say something not nice, like your example of your ugly, I would just tell him that is not expected behavior and friends talk nicely to each other. The child might just not know.

Re: Wwyd re: neighbors son

Re: Wwyd re: neighbors son

I would talk to the mom as well. I had to step in a few times because my one son has Autism, and there was one kid who was mean to him
I had to talk to the mom as well as the child.

Re: Wwyd re: neighbors son

When my daughter was in K, someone told her she wasn't pretty, I think it was boy. She was really upset whens he came home from school and wouldn't tell me right away. I explained to her that kids are not always going to be nice and if they are mean to let them know that they are being me and walk away and I think it could work here.

Something like " I am not going to play with you if you keep poking me because it (insert feeling)" and then have your son walk away. My daughter is shy and I want to be proud of who she is as person and that not everyone has to get along but it also isn't right for other kids to make fun of her. I have taught her some other things to say too.

I think once he stands up for himself and the neighbor realizes he means it, things may change slowly.

Re: Wwyd re: neighbors son

Sounds like our neighbor's kids. We have 1 girl on our block other than my 2 girls the rest are boys. The mom of the girl is, let's just say, stuck Iin high school, a gossip monger, not very nice, etc. The girl has 4 older brothers and I truly feel she gets to do older kid things than is even appropriate for her age just because she sees her siblings do it. Anyway the little girl can be a nasty little instigator. I keep my distance whether it's right or wrong. The little girl is my youngest's age but this little girl is nasty to my other DD who is a year older. We avoid going outside when they are out, but it doesn't always work out.