WWYD re: quitting job to be SAHM - ALL ADVICE APPRECIATED!

I will try to keep this as short as possible and would really appreciate any insight you may be able to give me... working moms and stay at home moms.

I have 5 year old DS who will be starting kindergarten in September and 10 month old DS. Last year DH got a better paying job and we decided that I would quit my job right before DS#1 started Kindergarten to be able to take him to and from school without having to put him in before and after care which he would have to be at from 7 a.m. until 6 p.m. every day. Several months ago, I learned that my comany will most likely be cutting my position by the end of the year or by the end of first quarter next year. This is not definite, but likely. Also, we may be moving to a different office location that would make it impossible to pick up DS#1 from aftercare and DS#2 from daycare before they close. Same problem for the morning drop off. I just don't know the timing of the move. I've been with my company for many years and would get a decent package if let go. My questions are:

Would you quit as planned in August in order to be home for the start of Kindergarten. Could be passing up almost a year's worth of pay. DS would not go to before or after care.

Would you stay until let go or office location moves and cannot do the commute with the added commute time of new location? I would get package, but DS would have to be at before and after care from about 7 a.m. until almost 6 p.m.

Notes:

He has been in daycare since 4 months and has been away from me for that many hours a day since then. But daycare is what he knows... he has friends.... knows his teachers... he's king of the school. He's expressing a lot of anxiety over starting Kindergarten. He doesn't want to go. Wants to stay in pre-k. It's not going to be fun. etc. etc. I'm terrified of how he will adjust to Kindergarten in itself and I'm afraid having him in before and after care in addition will make it worse. He won't know anyone going to his school. I visited before and after care at the school and there were kids just sitting around... no interaction from the teachers... granted it was early in the morning and late in the afternoon when I stopped in both times, but it did not look like something he would enjoy or be "OK" with.

DH's new job is better paying enough for me to SAH, but by no means will it be easy. His salary doesn't cover what I'd be losing in salary but after day care and the LIRR, it might come pretty close.

The plan would have been for me to SAH until DS#2 (4 years younger) is in school and then look for something local or local and part time. My thinking is that if I have to put DS in before and after care AFTER he was already used to his new school, it would be easier for him because he's be used to the school and would have friends there, some of which may be in before and after care too. But then I'm wondering if it would be worse off for him to start school with a shorter day so to speak if eventually he will have to be in before/after care anyway. KWIM? Is it better to just put him in from the start and let him adjust however well or not well that may be?

THANK YOU for any thoughts, advice, insight you may be able to give me!!

Re: WWYD re: quitting job to be SAHM - ALL ADVICE APPRECIATED!

does your daycare have a kindergarten program? You could keep him there for a year until you figure out what is going on.


in this economy, I have trouble with giving up a job. do you have 8 months expenses in a emergency fund. Does DH fully fund his 401K, do you both fully fund an IRA? Can you still fund one if you quit?

Re: WWYD re: quitting job to be SAHM - ALL ADVICE APPRECIATED!

Even if its not ideal, if it is possible to continue working through the end of the year, i personally would do so in the hopes of getting a severance package (and being able to collect unemployment simultaneously- yes you can get both!)
Hopefully by years end you will have a better idea of whether you will be laidoff etc and you can re-evaluate then.

Re: WWYD re: quitting job to be SAHM - ALL ADVICE APPRECIATED!

Personally I wouldn't quit - I would wait it out for the package. You would also be able to collect unemployment then.

Re: WWYD re: quitting job to be SAHM - ALL ADVICE APPRECIATED!

Re: WWYD re: quitting job to be SAHM - ALL ADVICE APPRECIATED!

Re: WWYD re: quitting job to be SAHM - ALL ADVICE APPRECIATED!

I'd stick it out and see if you get 'let go' ........if not, you can quit at that point in time. It's only a few extra months KWIM?

Re: WWYD re: quitting job to be SAHM - ALL ADVICE APPRECIATED!

Are you comfortable with your boss to have this discussion ?
Ask him if this is true, will your job be cut ? What does the timing look like ?


Depending on the company/boss maybe you could work out the job elimination time line for Sept.

I worked for a company that did that. They were upfront with what/when was happening.

Re: WWYD re: quitting job to be SAHM - ALL ADVICE APPRECIATED!

Hopefully I get to see you at some playdates!!!

Do you have the type of relationship with your boss where you could sit down and talk about this? Maybe they would be willing to give you an early package?

Re: WWYD re: quitting job to be SAHM - ALL ADVICE APPRECIATED!

We both have 401(k)s and an IRA, but we do not have 8 months of expenses in emergency fund... we have some, but not 8 months.

For those who asked, I actually have asked to "volunteer" for a package now being that the timing would work better for me now and that it may help other employees in my department... one less job to cut. The problem is that management is changing and although my direct manager is aware and supportive of my situation and wishes, we don't know what the timing is of all this and my manager has to speak to her new manager about this when that person starts (which adds to to complexity of this... if all the "players" were going to be the same, it would be much easier.) It's a waiting game at this point, but my direct manager is going to try to get me a package before September. It may or may not work...

WWYD re: quitting job to be SAHM - ALL ADVICE APPRECIATED!

Is there any way that you can speak to your boss and work out a deal? If the position might be cut wouldn't this be something that they would know now? Maybe they can work out your severence package from now and then you would not lose out as much.

These are the questions that I would ask myself before making the decision: How much of my income would go to childpare expenses (baby, and before and after day care); How much would you save by staying home (commuting costs, eating out, childcare, etc), If the difference is not too much I would stay at home. When I was home on leave I realized how much money I saved just by not going to work :) Good luck!

Re: WWYD re: quitting job to be SAHM - ALL ADVICE APPRECIATED!

Re: WWYD re: quitting job to be SAHM - ALL ADVICE APPRECIATED!

Re: WWYD re: quitting job to be SAHM - ALL ADVICE APPRECIATED!

My opinion ALWAYS is.............if being a SAHM is what you want, if it's important to you, and if you can afford it then by all means, quit your job. I left my job when my DD was born and I never looked back. I love being a SAHM, I love not missing anything and I certainly don't miss the grind of working.

There will always be a job out there somewhere but you don't get the years you miss with your kids back. It's a personal decision and ultimately you're the only one who knows what is best for your family but speaking as a SAHM, I'm very happy and financially we have made it all work somehow. Good luck!!

Re: WWYD re: quitting job to be SAHM - ALL ADVICE APPRECIATED!

Thanks so much to everyone who offered advice. I really appreciate it. Also, our daycare dies bit gave kindergarten program. I'm really going to try to push for early package. Hopefully, the new management for a for the idea! Thanks again!