| Posted By |
Message |
babyquestion
So Thankful!!
Member since 11/07 4004 total posts
Name:
Lots of Sticky Dust, Please!
|
WWYD? SAHM/Work related advice needed BADLY!
First off, if any of you know me on facebook, please don't post about this there.
I am a teacher and have been home this school year with DD (almost 13 months). Since I was on bedrest prior to having her, I have "used up" my 2 year maternity leave time and have to return to work come September. We are still in the process of looking for childcare (looking for a nanny) and currently have one lead.
DH and I spoke tonight, and he NOW tells me that I do NOT have to return to work if it's ONLY for monetary reasons. Things are definitely a little tight (with only one income) but according to him, we can make it work. The problem is, I would have to GIVE UP (resign) my teaching job if I do not return in September. We plan on having 2-3 kids, so for the next 8 years (give or take) I would be home raising the kids full time before they enter full day kindergarten. However, when that happens, what do I do? IF I decide to stay home, I would have to go back into the teaching field, re-interviewing and starting my tenure all over again.
I am soooo torn. I would LOVE to stay home FULL time with DD, but I am also not sure I am ready to give up my entire career.
WWYD? My head is spinning and I can't even think straight. I really thought it wasn't a CHOICE for me to stay home, but now that it's being offered, I am so confused.
|
Posted 4/8/10 9:44 PM  |
| |
|
Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
maybesoon
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 5981 total posts
Name:
|
Re: WWYD? SAHM/Work related advice needed BADLY!
I worked till my DS was 10 months old and took a leave. I was forced to resign and I'm so happy I did. I now have another on the way ,they will be 20 months apart. Time goes so fast , I can go back to work anytime , my babies are only small once HTH
yes money is a little tighter but it's only temporary! plus I don't like the idea of paying daycare
|
| Posted 4/8/10 9:47 PM |
| |
|
Michmouse
LIF Adult
Member since 11/07 1260 total posts
Name:
|
Re: WWYD? SAHM/Work related advice needed BADLY!
Tough choice!! I know as I am in the same boat as you.....I have been home with DS for almost 2 years and must return to my classroom in September. Things have been tight, but somehow we are just making it through. I love, love, love being a SAHM but I am so nervous about finances that I think it is best for me to go back....I hold the health insurance and the COBRA is just ridicuous....Plus I do have the absolute best teaching job ever and doubt if it could ever be replicated.
Does your DH have health insurance? That is a big factor in my household.
I feel your conflicting emotions all the way here at my house!
|
| Posted 4/8/10 10:06 PM |
| |
|
babyquestion
So Thankful!!
Member since 11/07 4004 total posts
Name:
Lots of Sticky Dust, Please!
|
Re: WWYD? SAHM/Work related advice needed BADLY!
Posted by Michmouse
Tough choice!! I know as I am in the same boat as you.....I have been home with DS for almost 2 years and must return to my classroom in September. Things have been tight, but somehow we are just making it through. I love, love, love being a SAHM but I am so nervous about finances that I think it is best for me to go back....I hold the health insurance and the COBRA is just ridicuous....Plus I do have the absolute best teaching job ever and doubt if it could ever be replicated.
Does your DH have health insurance? That is a big factor in my household.
I feel your conflicting emotions all the way here at my house!
DH is actually a teacher, too, and he holds our health insurance, so fortunately, that's not a factor.
I know teaching is the PERFECT job for a mom - tons of vacation time, summers off, home early - but knowing that I COULD be home with her full time makes this decision so tough.
Plus, when I return, I will be in a different position, which will be much more time consuming - meaning I'll be at school later and bringing home work with me, taking more time away from DD. I am so confused and didn't sleep a wink last night 
|
| Posted 4/9/10 7:51 AM |
| |
|
Mommy2Boys
My Boys!!!!
Member since 6/06 14437 total posts
Name:
C
|
Re: WWYD? SAHM/Work related advice needed BADLY!
I would go back to work if I were you. I would definetely not give up a teaching job on LI.
|
| Posted 4/9/10 7:58 AM |
| |
|
twinkletoes807
Mommy's Girls! ♥
Member since 11/07 10116 total posts
Name:
Gabi
|
Re: WWYD? SAHM/Work related advice needed BADLY!
Posted by babyquestion
DH is actually a teacher, too, and he holds our health insurance, so fortunately, that's not a factor.
I know teaching is the PERFECT job for a mom - tons of vacation time, summers off, home early - but knowing that I COULD be home with her full time makes this decision so tough.
Plus, when I return, I will be in a different position, which will be much more time consuming - meaning I'll be at school later and bringing home work with me, taking more time away from DD. I am so confused and didn't sleep a wink last night
Is it a definite that you when you return, it will be much more time consuming? Is it because it will be a new position and will then be comparable to your current position in regards to time spent? I'm sure it is a very difficult position to be in, trying to make the decision.  Though I am in a totally different field, I will offer my advice: if you can truly handle it financially- now, and after you have more DCs, then I would do it. Like a PP stated, your kids are only little once and though it would put a monkey wrench in your career, it is worth it! Good luck! 
|
| Posted 4/9/10 7:59 AM |
| |
|
Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
|
Re: WWYD? SAHM/Work related advice needed BADLY!
It all really depends on what YOU want. You have to decide what is more important to you...............being home with your DD or your teaching career. I am a teacher too and for me, I had NO problem walking away from it but I taught in the city so it was A LOT easier to leave and never look back. I really hated the city system anyway........total nightmare! If I had a Long Island job it may have been a little harder to leave but I still would've wanted to be home with my DD nonetheless.
I can say that for myself being home with my DD these past 18 months has been AMAZING and I would not trade all this time I've had with her for anything in the world.............not for a job, money, etc. This time is priceless, you don't get it back once it's gone so if you can swing it and stay home I say.......stay home. Things have been tighter financially for us too but I wouldn't have things any other way. Plus, even if I did go back to work once we have #2 I would have to leave anyway because between day care costs for two children and my commuting costs from Stony Brook to Queens it wouldn't make any sense financially to keep working.
I know some people have to work but I *personally* think there is nobody more qualified to take care of your child(ren) then you, their mom so if you can afford to be a SAHM then I would do it without hesitation. Good luck with your decision!!
|
| Posted 4/9/10 8:00 AM |
| |
|
eddiesmommy
best buds!
Member since 5/09 11524 total posts
Name:
Melissa
|
Re: WWYD? SAHM/Work related advice needed BADLY!
I think you should go back and test it out, see how you feel about being there. But give it a good three months bc thats generally how long it takes to adjust to being back at work, from being home. If after 3 months or so, if your desire to be home is stronger than your desire to still have your career, then resign. There is nothing to say that if you go back, it needs to be permanent.
Message edited 4/9/2010 8:02:59 AM.
|
| Posted 4/9/10 8:02 AM |
| |
|
lilbean
LIF Adolescent
Member since 1/10 634 total posts
Name:
michelle
|
Re: WWYD? SAHM/Work related advice needed BADLY!
I was a teacher also. I gave it up and never looked back. It depends though, I love being a SAHM/housewife. I always wanted to my whole life. If you do it, you have to just forget about them $, you cant dwell on what you could have had. It can be a big sacrafice but everyday I feel sooo blessed to be home with my child every minute of the day. It is challenging at times but well worth any amount of $ IMO.
|
| Posted 4/9/10 8:06 AM |
| |
|
bethb
LIF Toddler
Member since 10/08 402 total posts
Name:
Beth
|
Re: WWYD? SAHM/Work related advice needed BADLY!
I'm not a teacher, so I am not sure, but do you have the opportunity to take that much time off with each child you have? If yes, I would keep the job as you anticipate having more children in the near future. And that would allow more time off with job security.
I went back to my career after 6 months off with DS, and although it was a little hard at first, I am glad I did it. We are able to save money for DS future and he is developing relationships outside of our family and I think its really healthy. He has a nanny and they have a great day filled with playdates and activities. And it helps to know that he takes a mega 2.5 hour nap in the middle of the day... so i'm not missing out on all the fun!
|
| Posted 4/9/10 8:13 AM |
| |
|
livy820
Luckiest Mom of 2 girls!
Member since 8/07 1606 total posts
Name:
|
Re: WWYD? SAHM/Work related advice needed BADLY!
i'll write you an email
|
| Posted 4/9/10 8:29 AM |
| |
|
MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
|
Re: WWYD? SAHM/Work related advice needed BADLY!
I'm so envious of my teacher friends/family BECAUSE you have the opportunity to do this, AND still keep your career - I'd absolutely go back towork - to me, that is just too sweet of a deal as a mother to give up career-wise.
It's the best of both worlds - You're off when they're off, you have the whole summer off with them - and most of the time you're home at a normal hour -
If you're not 100% sold one way or the other, I'd absolutely keep the job - You can ALWAYS change your mind later on -
|
| Posted 4/9/10 8:46 AM |
| |
|
LulaBell
:)
Member since 1/06 3508 total posts
Name:
J
|
Re: WWYD? SAHM/Work related advice needed BADLY!
Teacher here - considering that you want to have more children, I would definitely go back. You will get two more years for each child, and then can make your final decision at that point. I'm not sure what you teach, but if you're not in a high demand area, I wouldn't give up tenure. I'm going back in Sept. also after being home with DD since Oct. so I understand the conflict.
Best of luck in whatever you decide
|
| Posted 4/9/10 8:58 AM |
| |
|
Kelly9904
Mommy to 2 amazing little boys
Member since 5/05 9306 total posts
Name:
Kelly
|
Re: WWYD? SAHM/Work related advice needed BADLY!
Posted by jellybean1420
I would go back to work if I were you. I would definetely not give up a teaching job on LI.
I agree also I was going to suggest as Eddiesmommy did.
Try it out.
To me there is alot more in the decision to work than just making ends meet. I am currently a SAHM only because I was laid off. I choose to work PT because we have certain goals we want to reach financially not only for ourselves but also for our DS. We want to provide for him with college or when he goes to buy his first house. And we want to have a significant emergency fund etc.
This is our choice and I really dont mind working. Being home has been wonderful but I do miss working. I am an advocate of trying it out, see how it works, often times returning to work is worse in our minds than in reality. And with the state of the economy even teachers are in jeopardy and once you leave that job you may find its nearly impossible should you decide to return.
I think if it were me I would go back, figure out my plan for DC #2 and then decide at that point while on leave if leaving for good is the best option.
|
| Posted 4/9/10 11:20 AM |
| |
|
wowcoulditbe
wow, pic is already 1 yr old!!
Member since 1/06 6689 total posts
Name:
D
|
Re: WWYD? SAHM/Work related advice needed BADLY!
I am in the opposite boat...I am untentured and home now with my girls...with little hope of ever going back since I am in elementary ed , I miss it terrbily and as much as I love my time with the girls, it scares me that I might neevr be able to go back in ed (thanks in part to the governor and local residents who vote down budgets all the time in my old district )....I think its a choice for you to make, what would make you happiest??
|
| Posted 4/9/10 11:23 AM |
| |
|
nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name:
Me
|
Re: WWYD? SAHM/Work related advice needed BADLY!
Posted by jellybean1420
I would go back to work if I were you. I would definetely not give up a teaching job on LI.
ITA. It also kind of scares me that you said "HE said we can afford it..." If I were you, I would crunch the numbers myself. I just don't feel comfortable not knowing what is going on with our finances.
But to give up a teaching job on LI means quite possibly giving it up forever...And in case something happens in your DH's district, and they are forced to make cuts, I wouldn't feel comfortable staying home (until he makes Principal or Superintendent  )
Message edited 4/9/2010 11:34:35 AM.
|
| Posted 4/9/10 11:34 AM |
| |
|
Kristin616
Member since 8/06 3595 total posts
Name:
Kris
|
Re: WWYD? SAHM/Work related advice needed BADLY!
Posted by lilbean
I was a teacher also. I gave it up and never looked back. It depends though, I love being a SAHM/housewife. I always wanted to my whole life. If you do it, you have to just forget about them $, you cant dwell on what you could have had. It can be a big sacrafice but everyday I feel sooo blessed to be home with my child every minute of the day. It is challenging at times but well worth any amount of $ IMO.
I agree.
I also think the decision has to be made by you.
|
| Posted 4/9/10 12:13 PM |
| |
|
Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name:
Diana
|
Re: WWYD? SAHM/Work related advice needed BADLY!
Posted by jellybean1420
I would go back to work if I were you. I would definetely not give up a teaching job on LI.
ITA! Especially because for each kid you can take up to two years (I think) and not lose your job?
Message edited 4/9/2010 12:15:15 PM.
|
| Posted 4/9/10 12:14 PM |
| |
|
maybesoon
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 5981 total posts
Name:
|
Re: WWYD? SAHM/Work related advice needed BADLY!
Posted by eddiesmommy
I think you should go back and test it out, see how you feel about being there. But give it a good three months bc thats generally how long it takes to adjust to being back at work, from being home. If after 3 months or so, if your desire to be home is stronger than your desire to still have your career, then resign. There is nothing to say that if you go back, it needs to be permanent.
I just want to tell you of my own personal experience. I told myself I woudl try for 2 months. well I missed out on 7 months w/ my DS bc I became scared to leave my job. I wish I just didn't go back and could have enjoyed being with him his whole life. I think it's best to make the decision now
|
| Posted 4/9/10 12:31 PM |
| |
|
babyonthebrain
Brotherly Love!
Member since 1/08 6209 total posts
Name:
Rafaela
|
Re: WWYD? SAHM/Work related advice needed BADLY!
I am a teacher and I had to come back to work this September. If the option was offered to me to stay home I would 100% stay home!!!!!!!!!!!! It was HORRIBLE coming back to work, I cried and cried, and I have been pretty miserable this year. All I do is think about my baby all day. My mind is not here. The way I see it they only grow up once. It's a once in a lifetime opportunity. When they go off to school you start all over. TO ME it's 100% worth it. Let me also add that I am insanely jealous of you right now and I wish I could be in your position. 
|
| Posted 4/9/10 1:42 PM |
| |
|
