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yankinmanc
Happy Days!
Member since 8/05 18208 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD? What do you think? Pros and Cons? I'm looking for everyone's honest opinions and experiences !!
Its a deeply personal issue, but I don't know anyone who in their old age wishes they had spent more time working...
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Posted 7/26/10 11:20 AM  |
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Bridex100
Two Under Two Mommy
Member since 3/08 10420 total posts
Name:
Momx100
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Re: WWYD? What do you think? Pros and Cons? I'm looking for everyone's honest opinions and experiences !!
Posted by MarisaK
Posted by Ophelia
Posted by MarisaK
Posted by JenBenMen
Can you work part time? That would be my dream!!!
No. Well, I COULD, but that kind of defeats the purpose of staying at all.
I'd be staying w/ a FT job to keep moving up, being promoted etc etc. -
Working PT, I wouldn't have those opportunities.
so, let's ask this...when you retire, what do you want to say?
will it matter to you, in the long run, to say "I was the SVP of gobbledygook".
or will you be ok to say something "lower"?
at the end of the day, where do you want to be?
I know I know - but is it horribly egotistical to NEED to be 'someone' other than Mommy and Wife?
I"m not looking to run the company - but I DO feel like I need something that's "Mine" ---------KWIM? And I feel like, if I AM going to leave my kids to go to work - it SHOULD be for something 'bigger' than 'average' -
I WISH being a Mom was 'enough' - for me, I don't think it is. I feel like a horrible person for even admitting that - I'm hadly an ego -maniac, and I'm not particularly impressed with myself up until this point .........and part of it is me, I'm ridiculously hard on MYSELF ........and I know that ..........but at 31 years old am I really going to change the way I think about MYSELF?? I feel like I should be a SAHM for my kids, but I don't know if I can -
I truly believe a happy mom is the best mom. Do what makes YOU happy.
I'm currently a VP and feel I've hit a bit of a glass ceiling. I could easily coast in my position or make a lateral move and do something similar for the next few years. There is no guarantee that I would ever move up to SVP or a managing director though.
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| Posted 7/26/10 11:20 AM |
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Calla
My girls
Member since 7/05 4303 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD? What do you think? Pros and Cons? I'm looking for everyone's honest opinions and experiences !!
You shouldn't choose to be a stay at home mom for your kids. It won't work. You need to make a choice that is best for you and that will end up being what was best for your kids. I'm a SAHM mom because its what I wanted, I was never that into my career, but it sounds to me like you are ambitious and successful and will inspire your kids through your work.
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| Posted 7/26/10 11:21 AM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: WWYD? What do you think? Pros and Cons? I'm looking for everyone's honest opinions and experiences !!
working moms are a great asset to sahms...shows our daughters that the can be anything.
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| Posted 7/26/10 11:24 AM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: WWYD? What do you think? Pros and Cons? I'm looking for everyone's honest opinions and experiences !!
Posted by MarisaK
I know I know - but is it horribly egotistical to NEED to be 'someone' other than Mommy and Wife?
I"m not looking to run the company - but I DO feel like I need something that's "Mine" ---------KWIM? And I feel like, if I AM going to leave my kids to go to work - it SHOULD be for something 'bigger' than 'average' -
I WISH being a Mom was 'enough' - for me, I don't think it is. I feel like a horrible person for even admitting that - I'm hadly an ego -maniac, and I'm not particularly impressed with myself up until this point .........and part of it is me, I'm ridiculously hard on MYSELF ........and I know that ..........but at 31 years old am I really going to change the way I think about MYSELF?? I feel like I should be a SAHM for my kids, but I don't know if I can -
I don't think it's horribly egotistical at all! It's just how YOU are wired - that is the absolute BEAUTY of life, that we all function differently, we all find passion and motivation in different things. I feel the exact same way, but I am not sorry or guilty about it at all. For me, it is just really important to be part of something else, something bigger than my own family. That's also part of why I left firm life and became a civil rights attorney - because I have a burning innate need to make a contribution to the greater good. That is just ME and how I am WIRED, and the sooner I came to that realization and was able to find a job where I could do that, the happier I was. Granted, I'm having some marital issues right now  , but aside from that, once I made that transition, it all fell into place for me, and I've never felt more happy or fulfilled in both my family and career life.
There is absolutely NO shame in how you feel - it isn't selfish or egotistical, and I think it's very intuitive of you to know that about yourself, so that you can make a life for yourself and your family that works to everyone's advantage 
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| Posted 7/26/10 11:27 AM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: WWYD? What do you think? Pros and Cons? I'm looking for everyone's honest opinions and experiences !!
Posted by Janice
working moms are a great asset to sahms...shows our daughters that the can be anything.
Love, LOVE, LOVE this... thank you
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| Posted 7/26/10 11:29 AM |
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Kelly9904
Mommy to 2 amazing little boys
Member since 5/05 9306 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: WWYD? What do you think? Pros and Cons? I'm looking for everyone's honest opinions and experiences !!
I am a SAHM but I have been a FT WM and a PT WM.
I always thought I wanted to be a SAHM but was shocked to see how much I loved working after DS was born. But DH and I decided I would go PT, then I got laid off so here we are.
I will be completely honest, I have this conversation regularly that I am not sure how I feel about being a SAHM and I do feel so selfish when I think to myself that I dont know if I want to continue this FT. I havent even told DH this because I know he LOVES me SAH.
I do have a hard time that now my friends all know me as DH's wife or DS's mom. I used to be Kelly, manager of this, director of that etc. And DH and DS were side notes at that time (in work circles I mean) NOw I feel like my "success" is how happy of a marriage I am in and how well behaved my DS is.
With that I still look for work but only for something PT. I have decided to me that me SAH with DS is worth the sacrafice. And I will say there are days I love staying home, I love the freedom, I love knowing that when DS is sick I am the one to take care of him., I love we can take vacations when we want, ETC.
I always say to my friends though...dont try to make the decision now. Plan your DC #2 as to when you are comfortable having them regardless of your working situation. Then when on leave you can decide.
GL!
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| Posted 7/26/10 2:11 PM |
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Kelly9904
Mommy to 2 amazing little boys
Member since 5/05 9306 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: WWYD? What do you think? Pros and Cons? I'm looking for everyone's honest opinions and experiences !!
Posted by Bxgell2
Posted by Janice
working moms are a great asset to sahms...shows our daughters that the can be anything.
Love, LOVE, LOVE this... thank you
This is great!
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| Posted 7/26/10 2:11 PM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: WWYD? What do you think? Pros and Cons? I'm looking for everyone's honest opinions and experiences !!
Thanks for your thoughts everyone !! I appreciate it !
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| Posted 7/26/10 2:25 PM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: WWYD? What do you think? Pros and Cons? I'm looking for everyone's honest opinions and experiences !!
It is such a personal choice...for me, I would never, could never be a SAHM, I need my time, I need my career, etc
good luck deciding....I have NO regrets and you should not either, whatever choice you make will be the best choice for you
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| Posted 7/26/10 2:26 PM |
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Eireann
Two ladies and a gentleman!
Member since 5/05 12165 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD? What do you think? Pros and Cons? I'm looking for everyone's honest opinions and experiences !!
Posted by racheeeee
Its a deeply personal issue, but I don't know anyone who in their old age wishes they had spent more time working...
This is ultimately how I feel and the thought that "gets me through" sometimes.
Trust me, I have BTDT!!! I feel like a broken record with this deal, but I left my job absolutely kicking and screaming after the birth of my second DD. Had no desire to be a SAHM ever, zero and I have no guilt in saying that. Nothing about being a SAHM had any connection to my personality whatsoever. But for a variety of reasons, I became one.
I HATED it. Hated it for a year; disliked it for another year. Just finished up year three and I love it...well, let's just say really like it.  The key for me was the girls getting a bit older--they are 3 and almost 5 now. I think it is what you make of it. I never did end up cooking three course meals or doing playdates/mommy and me five days a week or hell, even cleaning my house to perfection...because you know what? That isn't in my nature and nothing I do will change that. And YES, it can be mindnumbing and YES, I'm lonely sometimes. But I do things that I like...I read a lot; I've met (or became closer with) SAHM friends with whom I get together on a regular basis; I go out to lunch; I shipped my kids off to some sort of "school" at the first available opportunity and I've taught my DH that if he wants the floor scrubbed on all fours, HE can do it!
I fully intend on returning to work one day when all the children are in school FT (and maybe I'll even take off an extra year ) because I just can't envision myself at home alone FT...and truly, I do miss my job.
But I agree with those that said it is totally individual and if you can work out some sort of trial basis thing...that would be awesome. Although as I said, I didn't fully appreciate the time off until well into this gig!
Good luck with whatever path you choose!
Message edited 7/26/2010 3:35:27 PM.
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| Posted 7/26/10 2:45 PM |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: WWYD? What do you think? Pros and Cons? I'm looking for everyone's honest opinions and experiences !!
I'm answering before I read all the replies.
I always thought I would be a SAHM. I stayed home with my DS for almost a full year and was very sad to have to go back to work. There are times I still wish I could be home with him.
However, for my family, in our circumstances, I think it would have been crazy for me to stay home. I have amazing benefits and a job that is more stable than my DH's. I wasn't so worried about getting back into the workforce once my DS was in school, I was more worried about the instability of living on one income.
I also don't know if I am the playgroup kind of mom. Now that my DS is a toddler, he is playing with the other kids at daycare all day long, and I think the socialization has been really good for him.
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| Posted 7/26/10 3:15 PM |
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