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LiveItUp
Love my babies!
Member since 8/11 4096 total posts
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WWYD: when people get dc big gifts but you have a very small house
We've specifically asked all of dds grandparents over and over again to please not get her anything that takes up a lot of space because we have a tiny house and we're tripping over her stuff to begin with. But mil keeps buying her big things. We don't mean to come off as ungrateful but the latest gift we really can't find a place for it in our house. Is it rude to tell her we have to return it? I don't want to hurt her feelings but I also don't want to have to have this huge item right in the middle of my living room for years to come. And leaving it at her house isn't possible because she's out of state.
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Posted 2/3/14 4:14 PM  |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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WWYD: when people get dc big gifts but you have a very small house
I felt this way at the holidays. It's Xmas and them ds bday 3 days later. So I did a wish list on Amazon. It worked. I told everyone if they strayed it might get returned. People listened and those that didn't bought small.
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| Posted 2/3/14 4:25 PM |
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Re: WWYD: when people get dc big gifts but you have a very small house
We live in the city, so space is really limited and still people buy our DS giant gifts (not our parents, but definitely aunts, uncles, etc). We set up an amazon wish list as well and it really helped. We have returned gifts we just can't fit. Everyone knows we live in a small space, if they buy a giant standing basketball hoop set, they can't be surprised when we cant keep it.
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| Posted 2/3/14 4:47 PM |
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ChristinaM128
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 4043 total posts
Name:
Christina
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Re: WWYD: when people get dc big gifts but you have a very small house
Same problem here. We live in a one-bedroom. We returned some things, and others we will rotate in and out. We do spend considerable time at both sets of grandparents' so some things will be left there.
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| Posted 2/3/14 8:00 PM |
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PregowithTwins
My boys turned 8
Member since 5/11 2451 total posts
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WWYD: when people get dc big gifts but you have a very small house
Create a wish list so she knows what you are looking for.
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| Posted 2/3/14 8:37 PM |
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cheryl28
LIF Adult
Member since 2/10 4657 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD: when people get dc big gifts but you have a very small house
I'm so tired of nobody listening ti me anymore and not giving receipts that I don't care what they think anymore. My own mother is the biggest PITA. She gets insulted and I lost $ this Christmas b/c of it.
Just return and explain why if they ask
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| Posted 2/3/14 8:47 PM |
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LiveItUp
Love my babies!
Member since 8/11 4096 total posts
Name:
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WWYD: when people get dc big gifts but you have a very small house
I'm leaning towards returning it but I do feel bad. I just don't understand why she would buy something big like this when she knows we have no room for it and we've asked so many times to not get anything too big.
If it makes a difference, the gift is a child sized arm chair. It's very cute but we just can't come up with a place to put it that we wouldn't be tripping over it. And it's the kind of thing that dd might not want to let go for years so that's a long time to be tripping over it. It makes me kind of mad that mil knows we have no room, yet she thinks its ok to send a piece of furniture. I know it will probably hurt her feelings if we return it but I feel like we need to so she knows we're serious about not wanting big items. At least dd is too young to know the difference now, but I don't want something like this to happen when she's old enough to think me and dh are the bad guys for returning grandmas gift, kwim?
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| Posted 2/4/14 7:50 AM |
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nycgirl
Angels!
Member since 3/09 7721 total posts
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Re: WWYD: when people get dc big gifts but you have a very small house
My MIL is pretty bad... but she does listen when I say "no big things".
I would return if I were you & ask to please buy gifts like jewelry, etc. that are high ticket & sentimental, but smaller.
If you don't return it, it will be encouraging IMO bad behavior.
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| Posted 2/4/14 8:10 AM |
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summerBaby10
let's be nice
Member since 9/07 10208 total posts
Name:
Wifey
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Re: WWYD: when people get dc big gifts but you have a very small house
I return big items too. I don't tell the person but DH's grandmother once asked where her 4 foot long tow truck with car went & I told her we didn't have space for something so big so I exchanged it. Kind of sucks but I can't have my home turn into romper room where I am tripping over toys.
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| Posted 2/4/14 8:28 AM |
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mrsboss
my little love
Member since 12/09 5054 total posts
Name:
Me
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WWYD: when people get dc big gifts but you have a very small house
All the big stuff eventually gets put in the garage. It sits there for 6 mos, then I get rid of it. I cannot stand having my house look like a daycare center. The play kitchen was the final straw. It took up half my living room, DD lost interest in it fast, and out it went.
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| Posted 2/4/14 8:33 AM |
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wakemeup
Member since 10/13 1397 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD: when people get dc big gifts but you have a very small house
Posted by LiveItUp
I'm leaning towards returning it but I do feel bad. I just don't understand why she would buy something big like this when she knows we have no room for it and we've asked so many times to not get anything too big.
If it makes a difference, the gift is a child sized arm chair. It's very cute but we just can't come up with a place to put it that we wouldn't be tripping over it. And it's the kind of thing that dd might not want to let go for years so that's a long time to be tripping over it. It makes me kind of mad that mil knows we have no room, yet she thinks its ok to send a piece of furniture. I know it will probably hurt her feelings if we return it but I feel like we need to so she knows we're serious about not wanting big items. At least dd is too young to know the difference now, but I don't want something like this to happen when she's old enough to think me and dh are the bad guys for returning grandmas gift, kwim?
There's no room in her bedroom?
I totally get saying no big toys, that's understandable, but maybe she had an idea in her head of where it could go and didn't realize you would want to put it in the living room when she was maybe thinking of putting it in her bedroom, KWIM?
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| Posted 2/4/14 8:34 AM |
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LiveItUp
Love my babies!
Member since 8/11 4096 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD: when people get dc big gifts but you have a very small house
Posted by wakemeup
Posted by LiveItUp
I'm leaning towards returning it but I do feel bad. I just don't understand why she would buy something big like this when she knows we have no room for it and we've asked so many times to not get anything too big.
If it makes a difference, the gift is a child sized arm chair. It's very cute but we just can't come up with a place to put it that we wouldn't be tripping over it. And it's the kind of thing that dd might not want to let go for years so that's a long time to be tripping over it. It makes me kind of mad that mil knows we have no room, yet she thinks its ok to send a piece of furniture. I know it will probably hurt her feelings if we return it but I feel like we need to so she knows we're serious about not wanting big items. At least dd is too young to know the difference now, but I don't want something like this to happen when she's old enough to think me and dh are the bad guys for returning grandmas gift, kwim?
There's no room in her bedroom?
I totally get saying no big toys, that's understandable, but maybe she had an idea in her head of where it could go and didn't realize you would want to put it in the living room when she was maybe thinking of putting it in her bedroom, KWIM?
Her bedroom is super tiny. 9x9 without a closet. And every inch of space is being used. I don't even know how we'll fit a twin bed when she grows out of her crib. Our house is very very small. Mil knows this. She was just at our house and saw how we're already tripping over everything. That's why this gift annoys me. She must have known there's no where to put an arm chair.
And mil already knows how dh and I are worried about what to do if we have another baby and how we would fit both of them in that tiny room. So adding unnecessary furniture just makes it harder to fit everything.
Message edited 2/4/2014 8:49:01 AM.
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| Posted 2/4/14 8:42 AM |
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BookMom
LIF Toddler
Member since 1/11 420 total posts
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Re: WWYD: when people get dc big gifts but you have a very small house
When we get really big items like that I give it to my parents. They have a big house and its something to look forward to when visiting them. And I know that if we ever move to a bigger house we can take it all back.
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| Posted 2/4/14 8:49 AM |
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babymakes3
Almost there!
Member since 7/06 7376 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD: when people get dc big gifts but you have a very small house
I would return it. Send a message that way. It's better than making you miserable in your own house!
I don't like clutter yet our parents used to send toys that are huge and don't hold any interest. I tell them now to expand on what they have and enjoy, like sets for the calico critters, Legos, magnatiles, or the imaginext superhero. Or art supplies because they get used up and thrown out!
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| Posted 2/4/14 9:14 AM |
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LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19457 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: WWYD: when people get dc big gifts but you have a very small house
My parents bought my kids a knock hockey set that was 6 feet by 4 feet. I made them return it. It would not even fit inside of my car. I had said ok if it was small, but it was insanely huge. They ended up keeping it at their house and now my kids play with it there.
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| Posted 2/4/14 9:18 AM |
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MrsT809
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 12167 total posts
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WWYD: when people get dc big gifts but you have a very small house
I think at that point, I would let her know you don't have the space and while you appreciate it, you just don't have the room. It may be the only way she gets the message.
I tend to be a broken record before her bday and christmas with telling people how we don't have room and I don't know where I'll put anything if she gets a ton of stuff. Thankfully the message has mostly gotten through. I do try to come up with a bigger suggestion for each set of grandparents (a walking toy, outdoor toy, doll crib, etc). This way they know that's their one big item, they still get to pick it out, and we only end up with the big things we actually need or want.
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| Posted 2/4/14 9:22 AM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
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Re: WWYD: when people get dc big gifts but you have a very small house
That's why I ALWAYS do Wish Lists. It avoids the hassle and headache of dealing with impractical gifts, duplicates, and age inappropriate toys. Love the Wish List.
Message edited 2/4/2014 9:23:05 AM.
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| Posted 2/4/14 9:22 AM |
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SandL
LIF Adolescent
Member since 4/12 541 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: WWYD: when people get dc big gifts but you have a very small house
People are constantly buying DS large toys. I have tried wishlists but people don't get gifts from there. I try keeping them because I feel bad returning them (not sure why), so I do my best and try to rotate. For things that are ridiculously big, or that I know DS won't be into, I do return.
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| Posted 2/4/14 10:12 AM |
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ChristinaM128
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 4043 total posts
Name:
Christina
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Re: WWYD: when people get dc big gifts but you have a very small house
I'd return it. I'd also maybe have DH have a conversation with his parents that not only are large gifts not practical, it also can potentially hurt feelings. I personally am devastated and sometimes want to cry when I know I can't provide my daughter with a riding toy or bigger kitchen or doll furniture, or her own table/chair set, let alone her own bedroom. A big gift adds salt to a wound. My DH had to explain this to his mom at one point and since then she's been a little better (though there is a shopping cart sitting in her basement...).
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| Posted 2/4/14 10:20 AM |
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AngnShaun
Sisters
Member since 1/10 21015 total posts
Name:
Ang
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WWYD: when people get dc big gifts but you have a very small house
Surprisingly everyone got her clothes for Christmas... but i feel like her bday will be a lot different. Not sure what we are going to do.
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| Posted 2/4/14 10:24 AM |
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LiveItUp
Love my babies!
Member since 8/11 4096 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD: when people get dc big gifts but you have a very small house
Posted by ChristinaM128
I'd return it. I'd also maybe have DH have a conversation with his parents that not only are large gifts not practical, it also can potentially hurt feelings. I personally am devastated and sometimes want to cry when I know I can't provide my daughter with a riding toy or bigger kitchen or doll furniture, or her own table/chair set, let alone her own bedroom. A big gift adds salt to a wound. My DH had to explain this to his mom at one point and since then she's been a little better (though there is a shopping cart sitting in her basement...).
Thanks, that's a good suggestion of how to explain it to her. It really is stressing me out trying to think of ways we can rearrange furniture to squeeze it in somehow. But I don't want to her think its ok to keep buying large items. So I think I'm going to have to suck it up and tell her we have to return it.
I think the main problem is DHs parents are divorced so they seem to be trying to compete with who can get dd a bigger and better present. So with that being the case, if we don't put a stop to it now, its just going to get worse and our whole house will look like a toy store.
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| Posted 2/4/14 10:27 AM |
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bpmom
Feeling Blessed
Member since 6/07 2963 total posts
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Re: WWYD: when people get dc big gifts but you have a very small house
Can you ask them to keep the gifts at their house instead? I know it's a strange question but my MIL loves to buy gifts for our three DS's and I asked her if she was OK having them kept at her house for the boys to enjoy there instead of here. Works out well because then she doesn't worry about if they're too loud/big/noisy/inappropriate -- they're at her house and they stay there.
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| Posted 2/4/14 11:18 AM |
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Re: WWYD: when people get dc big gifts but you have a very small house
My DD doesn't even have her own room. If we get big items, I am the one purchasing it. We've gotten a few and they've either been returned on are cluttering up our garage waiting for the summer to be an outdoor toy. We have no room inside for unwanted, big, bulky things. I would just have DH say we didn't have room for it sorry
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| Posted 2/4/14 11:20 AM |
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LiveItUp
Love my babies!
Member since 8/11 4096 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD: when people get dc big gifts but you have a very small house
Posted by bdmom
Can you ask them to keep the gifts at their house instead? I know it's a strange question but my MIL loves to buy gifts for our three DS's and I asked her if she was OK having them kept at her house for the boys to enjoy there instead of here. Works out well because then she doesn't worry about if they're too loud/big/noisy/inappropriate -- they're at her house and they stay there.
I would but she lives hours away and we maybe go there once a year at most.
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| Posted 2/4/14 11:41 AM |
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bpmom
Feeling Blessed
Member since 6/07 2963 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD: when people get dc big gifts but you have a very small house
Posted by LiveItUp
Posted by bdmom
Can you ask them to keep the gifts at their house instead? I know it's a strange question but my MIL loves to buy gifts for our three DS's and I asked her if she was OK having them kept at her house for the boys to enjoy there instead of here. Works out well because then she doesn't worry about if they're too loud/big/noisy/inappropriate -- they're at her house and they stay there.
I would but she lives hours away and we maybe go there once a year at most.
Oh, that def won't work then. 
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| Posted 2/4/14 11:47 AM |
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