WWYD....issue with confront neighbor about their parenting...

I live in an apt complex.

There are a lot of families around me that are not from the US...China, India, Portugal...a lot of the kids speak broken english, but the parents are sort of in the beginning stages of learning English.

That being said, their kids seem to have way too much freedom around the complex. Maybe it is a cultural difference...

There is one kid, Lucas, he must be 5 or 6. Always likes to walk with me and talk to Josh. I always tell him when I think he has walked too far with us that he has to turn around and go home. I have never seen his mother, Leo said he has seen his father.

The kid is out all the time with the other kids...but once Lucas asked if he can come in my apt and see Josh's room. I told him you can never do that. How does he know that I am really a nice person? I told him terrible things can happen when you go into someone's apt.

okay...yesterday. come home from a walk...there's Lucas, waiting to spray me with a water gun. Great.

I was going right out to the store, so I told him we will be back later. I put Josh in the car, stroller in the back. Get in the drivers seat. Give Josh his water...turn on radio...I go to start backing up, foot off of brake...I stop instantly and realize my parking brake is on...take it off..

AND.. Lucas comes from BEHIND the car to the passenger side window! He was spraying the back of my car.

There was NO way that I could see him. I have been sick since last night that if the brake wasn't on, this kid would have been dead. I feel sick with the would have, if it really happened, selfishly, my life would have never been the same.

I want to go to his parents and warn them. Not a friendly warning, but one where I am not afraid to call the cops if I feel he is being left out.

I soooooo hope this kid can swim, once the pool opens up, its going to be trouble.

thoughts? tia! sorry so long

Re: WWYD....issue with confront neighbor about their parenting...

This poor boy. It seems like he's looking for your attention being that he's not getting any at home.

I would usually say not to say anything or to mind your business, but being that this child's safety is at concern, I would nicely approach his parents about the matter. How, I have no clue. I'm hoping someone else has some words of wisdom for you.

Good luck!

Re: WWYD....issue with confront neighbor about their parenting...

OMG...that poor boy, he is definitely looking for attention. WTH is his mother! I would absolutely speak to his parents, namely the one who is home with him all day. His safety is at risk. Thank God that E-brake was on.

Re: WWYD....issue with confront neighbor about their parenting...

Its funny, my sister and I had this conversation yesterday. My aunt lives in Paris- and has 4 kids. The oldest just graduated Oxford and the youngest is 10. She told my sister (whose DD was 2) that she (and Americans in general) hover over their children. In Europe, children are given much more freedom. But there are less incidents of child abuse and the like than here.

That being said, I would nicely tell the parent what happened. Tell her what you told us- that if the break wasn't on, you could have run over the child. I would tell the parent your concern about how Lucas wanted to come over, and that you are concerned he will approach someone who is a pedofile or dangerous (which I assume is your concern). In many cultures it is taken for granted that your neighbors are safe. I would let the parent know that it isn't the case in the US (if they are foreign).

Message edited 4/16/2008 1:20:48 PM.

Re: WWYD....issue with confront neighbor about their parenting...

thanks, he is from Portugal.

Here is my other dilemma, these kids play in a storage unit.

There is a refrigerator being stored in there....do I give lucas a PSA not to ever go into the fridge and hide...or will that just make him want to go in there?

That belongs to another family...I want to tell them to keep the kids out or take the fridge door off.

I need my own backyard so badly

Re: WWYD....issue with confront neighbor about their parenting...

Posted by Janice

thanks, he is from Portugal.

Here is my other dilemma, these kids play in a storage unit.

There is a refrigerator being stored in there....do I give lucas a PSA not to ever go into the fridge and hide...or will that just make him want to go in there?

That belongs to another family...I want to tell them to keep the kids out or take the fridge door off.

I need my own backyard so badly

Re: WWYD....issue with confront neighbor about their parenting...

I would tell the owners of the fridge/storage unit. It may just raise Lucas' curiosity.

Re: WWYD....issue with confront neighbor about their parenting...

Oh, jeez. What a tough situation. You definitely do have to say something to Lucas' parents. I have no idea what. And, it sounds like they may not even understand you. Somehow I doubt the boy can swim. they don't sound like they pay enough attention to him to have enrolled him in lessons. Hopefully I'm wrong, because it's so scary to think about the pool in your complex. If I think of a way you should approach them, I'll update or fm you.
I hear you about needing the backyard. I just had major "city issues" trying to get home in time for Lily's nap. The wait for the elevator being one of them.

Re: WWYD....issue with confront neighbor about their parenting...

This is a tough one. Part of me says mind your own business because I've been in a situation where I brought up some issues of safety with parents on my block, where it only backfires. They just don't seem to care. Especially since you said you never see the parents...

Now, on another hand, I saw the boys on my block playing basketball with a bunch of kids on another block. Well, the kids they were playing with don't ever move when they see a car coming. You actually have to STOP and wait for them to move (which is a whole other vent of mine). Well, the neighbors were playing ball in the street and here I come with my car and they don't move. I stop and beep my horn. They move aside BARELY enough and I look and see it's them. I said to him "don't you learn bad habits from these kids. When a car comes you move...that is very dangerous what you just did." And I drove away. I wen to their house and told the mom what happened because I didn't want her thinking I'm trying to reprimand her kids for no reason (I talk to the parents all the time...we're not close, but we talk) and she thanked me so much for telling her. I know the boys got in trouble and I felt very badly but it's so dangerous and they are really sweet boys and I know how the parents are, just like me, I would want to know if my child is doing dangerous things. But not all parents think that way.

Re: WWYD....issue with confront neighbor about their parenting...

Honestly - the one thing you need to do is call CPS and report it! They will get all the info from you and they will then take care of it!!!

Re: WWYD....issue with confront neighbor about their parenting...

Re: WWYD....issue with confront neighbor about their parenting...

Re: WWYD....issue with confront neighbor about their parenting...

thanks...I def want to speak with his parents first.

I am sure they aren't bad people, I think they have 2 boys...Lucas is younger and they are comfortable with the two of them playing outside solo together.

Too bad their play area is a busy parking lot.

I know the guy who rents out the storage unit, next time I see him, I am going to tell him. Even if he doesn't want to take the door off...he can atleast turn it around so the door is pressed up against the back wall.

thanks again!

Re: WWYD....issue with confront neighbor about their parenting...

Re: WWYD....issue with confront neighbor about their parenting...

YIKES! i'd talk to the mom asap. good luck!