house/home question

Reading the posts about buying a home got we thinking.
Does anyone else not love their house/home?
We bought our home in 2007, with the intention of it being a starter home. It had an accessory apartment which we rented for several years and that ended in a nightmare of eviction and our tenants threatening us etc.
We decided at that time since we had 2 children since the purchase of the house that we would open up the apartment and use it as our own space.
It is huge need of an update since it is still in it's 70s glory.
But since the kids were so small we made it a giant playroom by taking the wall down between the lr and bedroom. We also decided to forgo any renovations because the kids painted and crafted etc. in their.
Now 15 years later, I look at my house and don't feel any connection. I look at house online for sale and see family homes.
I would feel horrible moving now though bc my kids are established in their schools and both have friends on the block.
We also don't have a ton of money to redo the apartment part of the house to make it a true family room. We haven't even been able to renovate the bathroom that we use and it is original to the house built in the 70s.
Anyone else just stick it out in a house they don't love?

Re: house/home question

It's not that I don't love my house as there are things I do like but mine is a starter home too and small for 4 adults now. We don't have the money to finish the basement nor would I do that anymore as we don't plan to stay in it forever.

I honestly don't know if I want to go bigger though as that will be more work to do and more money to maintain.

Re: house/home question

Yes, i am one like you. I do not really like or dislike my house. I do, however, love the area and neighborhood I am in.
The house needs some updating and there are things we are lacking that would be hard to add. I would love a 2nd garage and a master bath with a huge walk in closet. The layout of the house is a little weird so I have a lot of square footage that is wasted or not being used to the best potential.
Can you look in the area and school district you are in and think about moving to a bigger house?

ETA: Can you do some of the renovations yourself? My DH redid the bathroom in our basement and he did a beautiful job. It cost a couple of thousand instead of over $10k
Maybe look at some ways to improve the aesthetic appeal for you. Instead of redoing the entire kitchen -paint the cabinets and put a new counter on.

Message edited 2/18/2022 3:56:00 PM.

Re: house/home question

Our first home was meant to be a starter home even though we ended up there for 14 years. It was a complete dump when we bought it. It was an original owner who at the time of the sale was around 85 years old, the house was exactly as it was in 1969 when it was built. It was awful. Think mirrored walls, shiny wallpaper, olive green carpets, smoke stained walls and not one single things in the house was worth keeping........not even the outlets and light switches.

Like most new homeowners we didn't have enough money at that time to pay for a total reno despite the house needing it so we got real handy real quick. We had a lot of family help at the beginning but renos were slow and took time despite that. We did EVERYTHING ourselves from laying hardwood, taking down walls, installing new windows, redoing electrical, opening up walls, installing countertops, stripping and staining all of our cabinets etc etc.

The more you can figure out how to yourself the better, it will save you countless thousands. It's a longer, more time consuming process to DIY but it allows you to reno at a more reasonable price. My advice, learned the hard way, is to do one room at a time. We gutted the house all at once which ends up being a huge undertaking when you're DIY'ing every single room.

As far as liking my house, it was a mixed bag. Once renos were done I loved what we did, it was cozy and welcoming and completely to our taste. We made it a real home and filled it with lots of wonderful memories. But ultimately, there were things the house lacked that we were willing to forgo 14 years earlier but as our family grew we really needed. The house only had a 1 car garage which we had to use as storage since there was no basement, the kitchen was small, we didn't have central air, we didn't have a 4th bedroom which we needed for office space and it was a ranch which I really didn't like. I never liked ranches, I always wanted a two story so that the bedrooms would be up and away from the living space, BUT the house checked other boxes including a great neighborhood and excellent schools so I went with the ranch.

After 14 years, we just outgrew every inch of the house so we were happy to finally have the opportunity to upgrade a few years ago. We did end up moving and if you ever choose that route, it's hard but in the end the kids did just fine.

Good luck with everything. I know how frustrating it is when your house isn't what you really want but the good news is even a few little improvements go a long way in making you fall in love with it more.

house/home question

We bought a house that was a great size for our future selves but a fixer upper. We could have bought 2 smaller houses that didn't need much work, but we went with a larger house that was original. It was a good idea because the other houses had smaller rooms, smaller yards, and less family space. But in this house, every single room needs a lot of work. We've done so much and still have more to do.

What's hard is that WE are doing it so our house is in a constant state of construction. Tools and dust everywhere. Everything is misplaced. It's SO hard living like that. I feel unsettled. So it causes resentment.

Listen, I love the house, see the potential, love the area, love the yard, etc. But because it's taking long to make it our own, it's hard for ME to get comfortable. Everyone else is fine and happy. For OCD me, it's stressful. I don't come home and chill. I just see chaos and mess. So yeah...I'm not in love with my house but I know in time, it will feel more homey and comfortable.

Re: house/home question

I like my house but I just wish it were bigger. We need more space.

Re: house/home question

I honestly can't stand my home because of the size.
It's very small and has no basement.
If it had a basement it would be more livable.
It's 3 bedroom and 2 baths but there is like nowhere to escape.
If we had a basement it would double the living space or storage space even and would be fine.
We only have one child and it's still tight. If we had 2 it would be game over and we'd have to move or build up.
I love my yard though- it's quite big and I love my pool and bbq island etc

But in the winter- I am just TRAPPED in here.

I don't' need a huge house, but my house with a basement would have been ideal
Rookie mistake

We don't want to spend any more money building on to it or even moving though because our goal is to not be in NY for long

Re: house/home question

house/home question

I wasn't in love with my house when we bought it. I liked it and I like the area and the school district and the price was right. Because of all the crazy sale prices and appraisals we just refinanced our home and got a good chunk of money. We just redid the first floor including kitchen and are building a family room on the back. I literally love it now. Once you are able to put your own stamp on things, I think you feel more connected. We toyed with moving as well but the houses that I love went up in price just like my own and it was not practical.

Message edited 2/18/2022 7:38:45 PM.

house/home question

I do not love my house. We bought in a rush and there were only 2 houses on the market in our price range in the area we wanted. Aesthetically it’s fine. I’d like it to be bigger. The neighborhood is beautiful.

It doesn’t feel like home. Our old house was much smaller and suboptimal for a myriad of reasons, but it always felt like home.

We discuss moving all the time.

house/home question

We bought a cape built in the 50s and after 4 years turned it into a colonial. I like it because we built it but I wish we had other features now. When we remodeled we had one toddler lol and now we have two tweens with so much stuff I wish we had a mud room or an entrance area separate from the front door lol.

house/home question

We have a similar situation. We also bought what was supposed to be our starter home in 2007. It's very small, but for just me and DH it was fine. We never planned to raise our kids in this house, but the housing market dropped shortly after we bought it and we were underwater on it for several years. Now we could finally sell it for a profit, but we would be overpaying to buy a different house since the prices are so high, so basically we feel kind of stuck. And we have two kids now in a small house. We have seriously considered moving off Long island, but now our kids have made friends and gotten involved in different activities in the community that they love, so we feel bad pulling them away from all of that. So pretty similar situation. We can't figure out what to do and we think about it all the time. We also can't afford to add on to our house.

house/home question

I don't. My DH took over his parents home after they passed. They had a reverse mortgage on it so all we paid was 350k to take it over. And in the neighborhood, new renovated houses are going for 1mil and up because we are in one of the top 5 school districts. So we got a deal. Its an older home and its small so we redid some things but its definitely not modern but it is what it is till hopefully we can get out of the tri state area . I get multiple notices from real estate agents asking if we are moving because they would love to tear down our place an build a McMansion on it. One day i hope we can say, you can have it!

Re: house/home question

We are in our second home. I would like to redo the kitchen, but the appliances and flooring are all new within the past year. The cabinets are close to 25 years old. The counters are ten years old from the old owners. We redid the master bathroom and it is phenomenal. The only thing my house does not have is a basement, but at the time that would have added another $100,000 to a purchase price and we could not swing that. We love our location, the schools, and the friends we have made here. My kids have grown up here. We spent 9 years in our first house, but it took another year to sell it. We are in this house eight years now. I think had we not had to carry two mortgages for a year we might have looked for a home with basement in our town. But now those homes are over a million and mine is up a lot more too. Realtors want this area and there are zero home on the market here.

Re: house/home question

Our house has been good to us. There have been a number of times when we've been in just the right place at the right time because of our house. I'm glad we've lived here.

It's small though. I hope that within the next few years, we can have more space.

Re: house/home question

Yes I wish I would have waited to buy (and house prices dropped maybe 2 years after). I have a 3BR split level which is a pain with the steps, and I have very little closet space. As a result I have bins of clothes in my daughter's room. We are looking to move OOS as soon as my husband can retire. My next house I want at least 4 bedrooms and ample closet space.

Re: house/home question

I go back and forth on my house. I think I’d really Just want a colonial but would never spend the money on one on LI but I cant bring myself to move out of state.

We did just refinance and took cash out so we can redo the only bathroom we have. Add a second bathroom upstairs for the kids and finish the basement. I would say after that I would be thrilled with my house but in truth I won’t. But I don’t hate it. Just more work needs to be done and we won’t be able to cover it with what we took out.

Re: house/home question

We are still in our starter home 11 years later. I absolutely love it and love my neighbors too.
We have renovated every room since buying it. Along with the outside. Next up is a front porch (if we don’t decide to ditch NY all together within the next 2-3 years)

When I first saw my house, it felt like home. Even with the old carpet and old bathrooms.

Re: house/home question

We bought a tudor 10 years ago. My husband loved it and I wanted a colonial. All I saw was $$$$$. Fast forward 10 years and we have put so much into this home we will likely not get it back even if we resold today. But, it’s a beautiful home in a beautiful neighborhood. Neighbors are a blessing. We worked hard to buy and update the property, so that makes me proud.

house/home question

i hate the layout of my house. i hate that the kids bedrooms are downstairs, and ours is upstairs (it's a cape). We've done alot to it and it's beautiful, but i agree with what the OP said.. I have zero connection to this home. My husband is the reason we are still here. He did wiring and stuff to this home that suits his needs, and he doesn't want to redo all that work in another home. He is very resistant to change and i think we will be here forever because of him lol

the pro however is that we bought it low, and our mortgage is really affordable. As much as I know we could get something bigger, I think i would rather keep the payment low for now and save for my kid's futures

house/home question

I do not love my house. I did not love it when we bought it, but my husband did. The location is great but everything else is eh.

10+ years later and we’re finally starting to update the things I don’t like.

house/home question

I hate my house. Everything in it is still original and old, right down to the doors and kitchen cabinets. I can't wait to get rid of it someday.

Re: house/home question

I am in my “starter” house still after 18 years and we have definitely outgrown it and need more space, however the location is the best. However we have looked around over the years and everything we see has its drawbacks as well - much more mortgage and taxes, not as great of a location, needs tons of renovations, etc. So we have learned to love our house.