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Mrs213
????????
Member since 2/09 18986 total posts
Name:
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No gifts means no gifts, right?
Invited to a child’s party. They have asked that in lieu of gifts people donate to Ukraine. I feel funny showing up empty handed but no gift means no gift right? Is there something small that would be acceptable?
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Posted 3/24/22 9:09 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
hmm
Sweet
Member since 1/14 7993 total posts
Name:
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Re: No gifts means no gifts, right?
Yes, if they write NO gift don't bring one. It's important to respeat what the host is asking.
If other bring, they look foolish.
Donating to Ukraine is the gift.
Message edited 3/24/2022 9:26:29 PM.
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| Posted 3/24/22 9:25 PM |
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ali120206
2 Boys
Member since 7/06 17792 total posts
Name:
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No gifts means no gifts, right?
I feel weird too when people say that for a kid. I usually get a small giftcard to our local ice cream place.
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| Posted 3/24/22 10:54 PM |
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lmcmcl
LIF Toddler
Member since 2/15 484 total posts
Name:
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No gifts means no gifts, right?
I say No Gift means No Gift. I am sure they spoke about this with the child. The people who brings gifts makes the whole thing awkward. Don't be that guy.
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| Posted 3/25/22 7:34 AM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: No gifts means no gifts, right?
I would get a card and a print out of the donation in the card.
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| Posted 3/25/22 7:55 AM |
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Re: No gifts means no gifts, right?
For a child? Even for an adult I usually bring flowers to celebrate their day. I would do the donation and maybe something very small for the child.
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| Posted 3/25/22 8:00 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: No gifts means no gifts, right?
I guess but I feel bad for that kid.
Regardless, kids are kids and they get excited for gifts. I remember how excited my daughter was on her birthday and Christmas when she was small. Even now still, but even more so when she was younger.
It was really one of the joys of childhood seeing her get so excited for her gifts.
I know it's superficial and stupid, but that's part of being a kid. We were all that way once. It's a short lived period in your life.
A kid doesn't care about a charitable donation.
That's for the parents.
And it's probably that the parents don't want all the "clutter'. Trust me, I didn't either, but it's part of having kids. By around 10 years old all the toys will go away and you'll get your pristine house back.
I don't know, I find it sad.
But I digress and I guess if that's what they want you have to follow their wishes
Message edited 3/25/2022 8:12:35 AM.
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| Posted 3/25/22 8:11 AM |
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Re: No gifts means no gifts, right?
Posted by lululu
I would get a card and a print out of the donation in the card.
ITA
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| Posted 3/25/22 9:44 AM |
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ave1024
I Took The Wrong Road
Member since 12/07 6153 total posts
Name:
That Led To The Wrong Tendencies
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Re: No gifts means no gifts, right?
Posted by lmcmcl
I say No Gift means No Gift. I am sure they spoke about this with the child. The people who brings gifts makes the whole thing awkward. Don't be that guy.
But there will always be "those guys". I hate parties like this and I agree with Nell that it should be part of having kids.
You could do this. Get them an Amazon gift card for $25 or $50, and throw it in an envelope and print a page of this Amazon listing and include it in the envelope. Let them decide how they want to handle the card.
Amazon Link - Donate to Ukrane
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| Posted 3/25/22 10:09 AM |
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LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19458 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: No gifts means no gifts, right?
For a small child I honestly dislike it so much. We were invited to a party like that. We did a donation and gave a gift to the five year old. He whispered to me no one ever gives him presents and he was so happy. When the other parents found out no one gives the kids gifts all the parents brought items for the kid to school. The parents were domineering AH.
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| Posted 3/25/22 10:31 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: No gifts means no gifts, right?
Posted by LSP2005
For a small child I honestly dislike it so much. We were invited to a party like that. We did a donation and gave a gift to the five year old. He whispered to me no one ever gives him presents and he was so happy. When the other parents found out no one gives the kids gifts all the parents brought items for the kid to school. The parents were domineering AH.
That's what I mean. Kids are kids. They don't care about charitable donations.
Make your own charitable donations as the adult.
Let your kids be kids. It's such a short short time in their lives.
I find it very sad
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| Posted 3/25/22 10:53 AM |
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Re: No gifts means no gifts, right?
Posted by LSP2005
For a small child I honestly dislike it so much. We were invited to a party like that. We did a donation and gave a gift to the five year old. He whispered to me no one ever gives him presents and he was so happy. When the other parents found out no one gives the kids gifts all the parents brought items for the kid to school. The parents were domineering AH.
That is really horrible and makes your heart ache for these children. Why you would think this is a good idea is beyond me.
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| Posted 3/25/22 11:20 AM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15657 total posts
Name:
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Re: No gifts means no gifts, right?
So we did this one year. My daughter was 8, heavily involved in Birthday Wishes, which is an organization that has birthday parties for children living in local homeless shelters. We would bake for them all the time, collect gifts to make Birthday boxes, etc. So for her party, she told all of her friends to bring a gift for Birthday Wishes. And they all did. I think maybe one person got HER something extra. But, this was my daughter's idea and she loved it. If you want to get something extra, maybe a book or something small 
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| Posted 3/25/22 11:28 AM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7274 total posts
Name:
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Re: No gifts means no gifts, right?
Posted by lmcmcl
I say No Gift means No Gift. I am sure they spoke about this with the child. The people who brings gifts makes the whole thing awkward. Don't be that guy.
I agree. The most polite thing you can do is respect the host’s wishes.
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| Posted 3/25/22 11:44 AM |
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FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7790 total posts
Name:
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Re: No gifts means no gifts, right?
Posted by NervousNell
I guess but I feel bad for that kid.
Regardless, kids are kids and they get excited for gifts. I remember how excited my daughter was on her birthday and Christmas when she was small. Even now still, but even more so when she was younger.
It was really one of the joys of childhood seeing her get so excited for her gifts.
I know it's superficial and stupid, but that's part of being a kid. We were all that way once. It's a short lived period in your life.
A kid doesn't care about a charitable donation.
That's for the parents.
And it's probably that the parents don't want all the "clutter'. Trust me, I didn't either, but it's part of having kids. By around 10 years old all the toys will go away and you'll get your pristine house back.
I don't know, I find it sad.
But I digress and I guess if that's what they want you have to follow their wishes
I agree. I don't even like giving little ones gift cards because they don't get it. They want a gift. It's such a short period of time in their life that they get excited over presents. Why would a parent take that from them? In that same vein, I get the clutter issue so I try to buy disposable gifts or something that can go outside.
We are invited to a party with the same request but the family is from Ukraine. I plan on complying with the request and also giving a small gift, like Bunch-O balloons or something for the child.
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| Posted 3/25/22 12:56 PM |
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LInMI
LIF Adult
Member since 7/10 1800 total posts
Name:
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Re: No gifts means no gifts, right?
I had a family member that did something similar and all the guest still brought a gift.
However, if it were me... depending on the kids age.. I would only pick up something small and make the donation. I always love the candy tubes from 5 Below.
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| Posted 3/25/22 1:05 PM |
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nycbuslady
LIF Adult
Member since 9/15 1066 total posts
Name:
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No gifts means no gifts, right?
How old is the kid? Maybe, like a PP said, it was the kid’s idea. Or, I like the idea of an Amazon gift card with a note saying donate it or use it for yourself.
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| Posted 3/25/22 1:10 PM |
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TTCwithHope
LIF Infant
Member since 4/10 297 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: No gifts means no gifts, right?
While I don’t agree with this for my own child, I would respect the parents wishes. It would be awkward for the non-gifters if some parents brought gifts anyways and confusing for the child. For all you know the parents and their family already got him tons of gifts. I can see how an additional 15 gifts would be overkill.
Also, depending on their personal connection to Ukraine, they may really feel deeply about this donation. If it were me and I requested donations for a cause dear to me, it would feel tone deaf to receive legos or a target gift card against our request. Like forget your Ukrainian cousin, here is action figure. No offense.
A card with donation is good if you want to give a physical token. I always got excited to line up the birthday cards I received, even when really young.
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| Posted 3/25/22 1:16 PM |
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mommy2devin
2 Boys, I need calgon!
Member since 10/07 1572 total posts
Name:
Shannon
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Re: No gifts means no gifts, right?
Posted by BargainMama
So we did this one year. My daughter was 8, heavily involved in Birthday Wishes, which is an organization that has birthday parties for children living in local homeless shelters. We would bake for them all the time, collect gifts to make Birthday boxes, etc. So for her party, she told all of her friends to bring a gift for Birthday Wishes. And they all did. I think maybe one person got HER something extra. But, this was my daughter's idea and she loved it. If you want to get something extra, maybe a book or something small
LOVE this. There is nothing wrong with teaching children at a young age that sometimes the best gift you receive is the ABILITY to help those less fortunate.
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| Posted 3/25/22 1:22 PM |
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lpg21
LIF Infant
Member since 9/21 342 total posts
Name:
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Re: No gifts means no gifts, right?
I would respect the wishes of whoever was throwing the party. A few years ago my boss' son got married and they had a celebration at his house, on the invitation it said no gifts, so I just gave a card, as much as I felt awkward showing up without a gift, but it is what they wanted...
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| Posted 3/25/22 1:46 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: No gifts means no gifts, right?
Posted by TTCwithHope
While I don’t agree with this for my own child, I would respect the parents wishes. It would be awkward for the non-gifters if some parents brought gifts anyways and confusing for the child. For all you know the parents and their family already got him tons of gifts. I can see how an additional 15 gifts would be overkill.
Also, depending on their personal connection to Ukraine, they may really feel deeply about this donation. If it were me and I requested donations for a cause dear to me, it would feel tone deaf to receive legos or a target gift card against our request. Like forget your Ukrainian cousin, here is action figure. No offense.
A card with donation is good if you want to give a physical token. I always got excited to line up the birthday cards I received, even when really young.
Or you could do both- a donation and a gift.
Here's your action figure and here's a donation for your Ukrainian cousin. I tend to over gift though
Not that I would do that personally- I said I'd honor their wishes, but I do feel bad for the kid.
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| Posted 3/25/22 2:44 PM |
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blu6385
Member since 5/08 8351 total posts
Name:
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Re: No gifts means no gifts, right?
Personally I would do both but I would do it in a form of a gift card. I would print out my donation to Ukraine and also throw in a gift card for the child.
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| Posted 3/25/22 3:51 PM |
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hmm
Sweet
Member since 1/14 7993 total posts
Name:
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Re: No gifts means no gifts, right?
for those insisting on giving a gift, why? The family set a boundary, they ask the gifts be donation. Why isn't that enough. The question to ask yourself, if the tables was turned how would you feel. Ex, In the Jewish religion, it's not uncommon for the "child" to do an act that gives to others for their birthday.
To me, it comes of disrespectful to act the opposite from what is being ask, simply because it causes "you " as individuals to feel uncomfortable.
Everyone feels uncomfortable, but it's okay, and normal.
To send a gift when asked not to, is to fulfill your own need.
vent over :)
Message edited 3/25/2022 5:01:35 PM.
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| Posted 3/25/22 4:51 PM |
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hmm
Sweet
Member since 1/14 7993 total posts
Name:
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Re: No gifts means no gifts, right?
Posted by lpg21
I would respect the wishes of whoever was throwing the party. A few years ago my boss' son got married and they had a celebration at his house, on the invitation it said no gifts, so I just gave a card, as much as I felt awkward showing up without a gift, but it is what they wanted...
you did the right thing, it feels odd but, you were being respectful.
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| Posted 3/25/22 4:52 PM |
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KarenK122
The Journey is the Destination
Member since 5/05 4431 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: No gifts means no gifts, right?
Posted by hmm
for those insisting on giving a gift, why? The family set a boundary, they ask the gifts be donation. Why isn't that enough. The question to ask yourself, if the tables was turned how would you feel. Ex, In the Jewish religion, it's not uncommon for the "child" to do an act that gives to others for their birthday.
To me, it comes of disrespectful to act the opposite from what is being ask, simply because it causes "you " as individuals to feel uncomfortable.
Everyone feels uncomfortable, but it's okay, and normal.
To send a gift when asked not to, is to fulfill your own need.
vent over :)
If it was for an adult or an older child I would have no issue not giving a gift if that was what was asked. If the child was younger, unless they are heavily involved in some charitable organization like a previous poster said, I would feel bad for the child not to get any gifts. I would donate and give a small gift to the child.
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| Posted 3/25/22 6:14 PM |
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