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cjik
Welcome 2010!
Member since 2/06 8879 total posts
Name:
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Question re: miscarriage
Hi,
I have a question for anyone who has experienced miscarriage, and I really hope I am not bothering anyone by asking, but I feel I need some help.
My sister has miscarried 3 times now. After her second miscarriage, she and her husband went to a well-known hospital fertility center and saw several doctors. All the tests, etc. showed nothing was wrong with either one of them.
So, she got pregnant again a few months ago, made it to her fourth month which is further than before, and lost the baby. While she and her DH seem to be dealing well considering, I know they are heartbroken.
Is there anything you had wished your family had done or said to you, or anything they did say that was very helpful? We talk and e-mail regularly anyway, and have kept it up. I went to see her shortly after this happened, but I guess I keep feeling as if there should be more than that. Maybe there isn't, and this is just a situation I can't do much more about.
If you would rather send FM, that would be great. I hope this isn't an upsetting request, but I want to help her as much as I can and since I haven't been through this myself, there may be only so much I can do.
Thank you in advance for any thoughts you may have.
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Posted 9/12/06 5:57 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
apb17
My guys
Member since 5/06 2173 total posts
Name:
Alli
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Re: Question re: miscarriage
The one thing that got me through it was having someone actually LISTEN to me cry, curse, complain, whine etc. I didn't want to hear things like "The baby just wasn't viable" or "You'll have another chance." I really needed someone that I could say whatever I wanted to without being judged.
 to you for being so proactive and loving to your sister. I'm sure she appreciates it more than she can express. If you have any questions feel free to FM me.
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| Posted 9/12/06 7:46 PM |
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CkGm
They get so big, so fast :(
Member since 5/05 13848 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Question re: miscarriage
I would have loved more, "I am so sorry" comments- just that, nothing else. That was all I needed to hear.
Plus someone just to listen since you have some emotions that you think are really irrational- it was great to have someone tell me I wasn't crazy.
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| Posted 9/12/06 7:48 PM |
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nywebchic
LIF Infant
Member since 8/05 262 total posts
Name:
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Re: Question re: miscarriage
Suggestions:
-"I am sorry"
-Listen whenever she feels like talking
-Don't offer explanations
-Don't say "things happen for a reason"
-Just Be supportive
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| Posted 9/12/06 8:34 PM |
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rose825
Best Friends
Member since 6/05 10228 total posts
Name:
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Re: Question re: miscarriage
I agree- juts listena and validate her feelings, offering explanations like "god has a plan"... not helpful!
Message edited 9/12/2006 10:11:10 PM.
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| Posted 9/12/06 10:10 PM |
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DRMom
Two in Blue
Member since 5/05 20223 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: Question re: miscarriage
Posted by cjik
Hi,
I have a question for anyone who has experienced miscarriage, and I really hope I am not bothering anyone by asking, but I feel I need some help.
My sister has miscarried 3 times now. After her second miscarriage, she and her husband went to a well-known hospital fertility center and saw several doctors. All the tests, etc. showed nothing was wrong with either one of them.
So, she got pregnant again a few months ago, made it to her fourth month which is further than before, and lost the baby. While she and her DH seem to be dealing well considering, I know they are heartbroken.
Is there anything you had wished your family had done or said to you, or anything they did say that was very helpful? We talk and e-mail regularly anyway, and have kept it up. I went to see her shortly after this happened, but I guess I keep feeling as if there should be more than that. Maybe there isn't, and this is just a situation I can't do much more about.
If you would rather send FM, that would be great. I hope this isn't an upsetting request, but I want to help her as much as I can and since I haven't been through this myself, there may be only so much I can do.
Thank you in advance for any thoughts you may have.
I don't know if I'm different than everyone else but I personally did not really want to talk about it-especially if you have a few people who know you end up having the same depressing comversation again and again. What I would love is for someone to help me research what is out there. Give me a reason. I felt so much more in control once I knew what the causes could be. A regular OB/GYN will tell you recurrent miscarriage just happens or there is "no reason" I have learned that that is not really true only 10-15% of recurrent miscarriages are of no determined cause. Has she had the recurrent pregnancy loss panel? I have some info I can FM you if you want-let me know. Your sisters problem may be, for example a clottting disorder that could be helped with baby asprin.
ETA-I read your post again but really was she tested for everything?
Message edited 9/13/2006 10:03:37 AM.
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| Posted 9/13/06 10:02 AM |
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juju
Welcome to the World!
Member since 5/05 6747 total posts
Name:
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Re: Question re: miscarriage
For me, I didnt want to talk to anyone.
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| Posted 9/13/06 12:56 PM |
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