Do you find this strange?

Just wondering if any of you would ever do this. For the past 8 or 9 years, a bunch of my friends have an annual get together around the holidays. While trying to find a date that worked for everyone, one of my friends who just got married said she couldn't commit to a date, but as of now, she and her DH were going to spend Thanksgiving and Christmas apart. She said that neither one of them was ready to give up spending the holidays with their families. This will be their first holidays at husband and wife. I don't think they've ever spent any holidays together. It struck me as odd. I can't imagine ever wanting to spend the holidays apart from DH. Would you ever spend the holidays apart from your spouse/SO?

Re: Do you find this strange?

I love spending the holiday's with dh and we make it work. We split them fairly as well. They couldn't work anything out?

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Hum...it is strange...but I understand the not knowing how to handle it yet.
My brother & his GF have been together for 8 years & never have had more then dessert together for holidays. I always wonder what they would do!!

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I would hate to be away from DH for the holidays, and I'm glad we've been able to make it work so far. But to each his own- maybe down the line when they have their own kids they'll re-work things.

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Personally, I wouldn't be able to do it but then I don't know, I've never been in that position....

We spend Thanksgiving with my family and Christmas with his. It works for everyone.

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That is a bit strange. It's their first married holidays together. Dh and I used to spend Thanksgiving apart because I would fly down to Florida and he would stay here with his family. Now that we are married I am staying here to spend it with him. Then we are both going to Florida for Christmas. I couldn't imagine not being with him for the holidays.... especially now that we are married :)

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i dont think its strange. its what works for them.

i would think that after 8 or 9 years if they REALLY wanted to be together on hte holidays they would make it happen somehow. whether its doing her family one year and his the next or splitting the day in half or whatever....

i spend part of christmas eve away from DH but thats a tough situation.

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Me and dh are actually spending thanksgiving apart this year. We usually alternate Thanksgivings (this year is his mom's turn), but this year will be my first holiday season without my grandma and I need and want to be with my mom and he wanted to still go to his mom's. Although I wish he would be with me, I'm ok with it.

ETA: Although I wouldn't be happy doing it your friend's way, but if it works for them, then good for them.

Message edited 11/10/2006 6:37:00 PM.

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To each his own, I would only have a problem with it when children became involved. Children should be with both of their parents

Re: Do you find this strange?

Posted by Stacey1403

To each his own, I would only have a problem with it when children became involved. Children should be with both of their parents

Re: Do you find this strange?

Posted by Lolita4Life

Posted by Stacey1403

To each his own, I would only have a problem with it when children became involved. Children should be with both of their parents

i actually disagree with this. plenty of children only spend certian holidays with one parent... so many divorced single parents out there.
i dont see how it would make a difference personally.

Re: Do you find this strange?

This situation wouldn't work for me. We have struggled to come up with a plan that works for us to alternate holidays with our families. I certainly wasn't initially ready or happy to give up Rosh Hashanah with my family the first time, but I did it b/c DH is my family now, and the person that I'm going to build a family with. We make compromises..to me, that's part of marriage.

I do understand that some people have different situations, including divorces, that make it hard to be together for the holidays. Everyone has to do what works for him or her, but being apart would not work for me.

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Being apart doesn't seem like much of a compromise. Can't they have TG at one house and Christmas at another? I think their families would understand if they had to delegate.

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Oh, I have heard it and almost lived it myself....

Holidays with us are a nightmare and it caused a big problem with DH and I right after we got married. Neither of us wanted to compromise and we almost went our separate ways for the holidays.

Needless to say, we figured it out, things stunk that year and we have definitely grown as a result...

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fh and i spent one holiday apart a couple of years ago. it was unintentional. it started snowing on christmas and we were not able to see each other.

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We each went to our own family our first Thanksgiving. It is impossible to do both in one day, and to be honest I didn't feel like compromising. My grandmother is very old and I felt that if it was her last holiday I would feel horribly guilty for not seeing her. We see ILs all the time so I thought the compromise should be seeing my grandma who we never see.

Anyway, we since worked out our plan--Thanksgiving with his family, Easter with mine, Christmas day brunch with his, dinner with mine--but the first year was so hard to make decisions. Everything we did set a precedent so I did not want to take these decisions lightly.

We usually spent holidays apart the 5 years we dated.

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wow! I have never heard of anything like that before

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It's ok with me to spend thanksgiving apart. DH will most likely do to his dads this year by himself. I have tons of school work to do, I will go over to my moms for a bit.

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As long as they are ok with it then I don't think it's strange. Holidays mean something different to everyone.

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I don't find it strange, we have a couple of friend couples who do this as it makes most everyone happy. I think hey, if it works for you, who am I to think otherwise!! We also have the additional holiday of Boxing Day in the UK, so it gives everyone another day to get the family together...