Posted By |
Message |
Pages: [1] 2 |
MrsS2005
Mom of 3
![](v/1067.jpg)
Member since 11/05 13118 total posts
Name: B
|
Do you find this strange?
Just wondering if any of you would ever do this. For the past 8 or 9 years, a bunch of my friends have an annual get together around the holidays. While trying to find a date that worked for everyone, one of my friends who just got married said she couldn't commit to a date, but as of now, she and her DH were going to spend Thanksgiving and Christmas apart. She said that neither one of them was ready to give up spending the holidays with their families. This will be their first holidays at husband and wife. I don't think they've ever spent any holidays together. It struck me as odd. I can't imagine ever wanting to spend the holidays apart from DH. Would you ever spend the holidays apart from your spouse/SO?
|
Posted 11/10/06 5:52 PM |
|
|
Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
lvdolphins
My Loves!
![](v/133.jpg)
Member since 5/05 46292 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Do you find this strange?
I love spending the holiday's with dh and we make it work. We split them fairly as well. They couldn't work anything out?
|
Posted 11/10/06 5:57 PM |
|
|
BikerGrl
Merry Christmas!
![](v/558.jpg)
Member since 5/05 2875 total posts
Name: It's not the destination....it's the journey!
|
Re: Do you find this strange?
Hum...it is strange...but I understand the not knowing how to handle it yet. My brother & his GF have been together for 8 years & never have had more then dessert together for holidays. I always wonder what they would do!!
|
Posted 11/10/06 6:00 PM |
|
|
|
Re: Do you find this strange?
I would hate to be away from DH for the holidays, and I'm glad we've been able to make it work so far. But to each his own- maybe down the line when they have their own kids they'll re-work things.
|
Posted 11/10/06 6:01 PM |
|
|
MrsS2005
Mom of 3
![](v/1067.jpg)
Member since 11/05 13118 total posts
Name: B
|
Re: Do you find this strange?
Posted by lvdolphins
I love spending the holiday's with dh and we make it work. We split them fairly as well. They couldn't work anything out?
I guess neither one wanted to give up a holiday. He doesn't really seem like a compromising kind of guy to me. They've been together for 8 or 9 years, and as far as I know, he rarely comes down to LI to spend time with her family. She always spent New Year's with us or her college friends b/c he always went to a concert.
They just got married a few weeks ago. This will be their first married holidays, but I guess they'll be spending them apart.
|
Posted 11/10/06 6:02 PM |
|
|
Ritse
LIF Adolescent
![](v/2044.jpg)
Member since 7/06 711 total posts
Name: Who's asking?
|
Re: Do you find this strange?
Personally, I wouldn't be able to do it but then I don't know, I've never been in that position....
We spend Thanksgiving with my family and Christmas with his. It works for everyone.
|
Posted 11/10/06 6:04 PM |
|
|
Redhead
You Live, You Learn
![](v/113.jpg)
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name: Jennifer
|
Re: Do you find this strange?
Posted by MrsS2005
Just wondering if any of you would ever do this. For the past 8 or 9 years, a bunch of my friends have an annual get together around the holidays. While trying to find a date that worked for everyone, one of my friends who just got married said she couldn't commit to a date, but as of now, she and her DH were going to spend Thanksgiving and Christmas apart. She said that neither one of them was ready to give up spending the holidays with their families. This will be their first holidays at husband and wife. I don't think they've ever spent any holidays together. It struck me as odd. I can't imagine ever wanting to spend the holidays apart from DH. Would you ever spend the holidays apart from your spouse/SO?
YES we spend Thanksgiving apart
BOTH of our parents are divorced so splitting up the holidays gets VERY hard and very tiring to run from house to house
So we do Thanksgiving apart.
When we have kids i am sure that will change but for now it works for us
|
Posted 11/10/06 6:04 PM |
|
|
MrsS2005
Mom of 3
![](v/1067.jpg)
Member since 11/05 13118 total posts
Name: B
|
Re: Do you find this strange?
Posted by Redhead
Posted by MrsS2005
Just wondering if any of you would ever do this. For the past 8 or 9 years, a bunch of my friends have an annual get together around the holidays. While trying to find a date that worked for everyone, one of my friends who just got married said she couldn't commit to a date, but as of now, she and her DH were going to spend Thanksgiving and Christmas apart. She said that neither one of them was ready to give up spending the holidays with their families. This will be their first holidays at husband and wife. I don't think they've ever spent any holidays together. It struck me as odd. I can't imagine ever wanting to spend the holidays apart from DH. Would you ever spend the holidays apart from your spouse/SO?
YES we spend Thanksgiving apart
BOTH of our parents are divorced so splitting up the holidays gets VERY hard and very tiring to run from house to house
So we do Thanksgiving apart.
When we have kids i am sure that will change but for now it works for us
I definitely understand how divorce complicates things, but in this situation both sets of parents are still married. Plus, they'd be spending Thanksigving and Christmas apart. Perosnally, I wouldn't want to do that, especially for our first holdiays as a married couple.
|
Posted 11/10/06 6:17 PM |
|
|
mrsv
.
Member since 7/06 2969 total posts
Name: lol
|
Re: Do you find this strange?
That is a bit strange. It's their first married holidays together. Dh and I used to spend Thanksgiving apart because I would fly down to Florida and he would stay here with his family. Now that we are married I am staying here to spend it with him. Then we are both going to Florida for Christmas. I couldn't imagine not being with him for the holidays.... especially now that we are married :)
|
Posted 11/10/06 6:21 PM |
|
|
Jesaroo
is not the girl you knew
![](v/223.jpg)
Member since 5/05 14266 total posts
Name: Jes
|
Re: Do you find this strange?
i dont think its strange. its what works for them.
i would think that after 8 or 9 years if they REALLY wanted to be together on hte holidays they would make it happen somehow. whether its doing her family one year and his the next or splitting the day in half or whatever....
i spend part of christmas eve away from DH but thats a tough situation.
|
Posted 11/10/06 6:33 PM |
|
|
Baboots
I miss you grandma
![](v/796.jpg)
Member since 8/05 1437 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Do you find this strange?
Me and dh are actually spending thanksgiving apart this year. We usually alternate Thanksgivings (this year is his mom's turn), but this year will be my first holiday season without my grandma and I need and want to be with my mom and he wanted to still go to his mom's. Although I wish he would be with me, I'm ok with it.
ETA: Although I wouldn't be happy doing it your friend's way, but if it works for them, then good for them.
Message edited 11/10/2006 6:37:00 PM.
|
Posted 11/10/06 6:34 PM |
|
|
Stacey1403
Where it all began....
Member since 5/05 24065 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Do you find this strange?
To each his own, I would only have a problem with it when children became involved. Children should be with both of their parents
|
Posted 11/10/06 6:35 PM |
|
|
Jesaroo
is not the girl you knew
![](v/223.jpg)
Member since 5/05 14266 total posts
Name: Jes
|
Re: Do you find this strange?
Posted by Stacey1403
To each his own, I would only have a problem with it when children became involved. Children should be with both of their parents
i actually disagree with this. plenty of children only spend certian holidays with one parent... so many divorced single parents out there. i dont see how it would make a difference personally.
|
Posted 11/10/06 6:37 PM |
|
|
Stacey1403
Where it all began....
Member since 5/05 24065 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Do you find this strange?
Posted by Lolita4Life
Posted by Stacey1403
To each his own, I would only have a problem with it when children became involved. Children should be with both of their parents
i actually disagree with this. plenty of children only spend certian holidays with one parent... so many divorced single parents out there. i dont see how it would make a difference personally.
I obviously meant if their parents are together. My parents are divorced and I think it sucked splitting up the holidays. Why would anyone want to do that to their children if they are happily married?
|
Posted 11/10/06 6:39 PM |
|
|
Jax430
Hi!
Member since 5/05 18919 total posts
Name: Jackie
|
Re: Do you find this strange?
This situation wouldn't work for me. We have struggled to come up with a plan that works for us to alternate holidays with our families. I certainly wasn't initially ready or happy to give up Rosh Hashanah with my family the first time, but I did it b/c DH is my family now, and the person that I'm going to build a family with. We make compromises..to me, that's part of marriage.
I do understand that some people have different situations, including divorces, that make it hard to be together for the holidays. Everyone has to do what works for him or her, but being apart would not work for me.
|
Posted 11/10/06 6:39 PM |
|
|
BellaCosa
LIF Infant
Member since 10/06 58 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Do you find this strange?
Being apart doesn't seem like much of a compromise. Can't they have TG at one house and Christmas at another? I think their families would understand if they had to delegate.
|
Posted 11/10/06 7:04 PM |
|
|
curliegirl
He's here!!!!
![](v/1488.jpg)
Member since 3/06 10128 total posts
Name: Gina
|
Re: Do you find this strange?
Oh, I have heard it and almost lived it myself....
Holidays with us are a nightmare and it caused a big problem with DH and I right after we got married. Neither of us wanted to compromise and we almost went our separate ways for the holidays.
Needless to say, we figured it out, things stunk that year and we have definitely grown as a result...
|
Posted 11/10/06 7:11 PM |
|
|
jerrysgirl
I love my hot dog!!
![](v/1832.jpg)
Member since 6/06 5357 total posts
Name: E & J
|
Re: Do you find this strange?
fh and i spent one holiday apart a couple of years ago. it was unintentional. it started snowing on christmas and we were not able to see each other.
|
Posted 11/10/06 7:11 PM |
|
|
nov04libride
big brother <3
![](v/64.jpg)
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name: Me
|
Re: Do you find this strange?
We each went to our own family our first Thanksgiving. It is impossible to do both in one day, and to be honest I didn't feel like compromising. My grandmother is very old and I felt that if it was her last holiday I would feel horribly guilty for not seeing her. We see ILs all the time so I thought the compromise should be seeing my grandma who we never see.
Anyway, we since worked out our plan--Thanksgiving with his family, Easter with mine, Christmas day brunch with his, dinner with mine--but the first year was so hard to make decisions. Everything we did set a precedent so I did not want to take these decisions lightly.
We usually spent holidays apart the 5 years we dated.
|
Posted 11/10/06 8:47 PM |
|
|
SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
![](v/1514.jpg)
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Do you find this strange?
wow! I have never heard of anything like that before
|
Posted 11/10/06 8:50 PM |
|
|
Pumpkin
LIF Adult
![](v/472.jpg)
Member since 5/05 3353 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Do you find this strange?
It's ok with me to spend thanksgiving apart. DH will most likely do to his dads this year by himself. I have tons of school work to do, I will go over to my moms for a bit.
|
Posted 11/10/06 8:55 PM |
|
|
Tine73
![](v/1415.jpg)
Member since 3/06 22093 total posts
Name: *********
|
Re: Do you find this strange?
As long as they are ok with it then I don't think it's strange. Holidays mean something different to everyone.
|
Posted 11/10/06 9:06 PM |
|
|
Eva Luna
Be kind...life's hard!
![](v/771.jpg)
Member since 8/05 4750 total posts
Name: God, bless & heal my DH, JenG's DH Rob & DebG
|
Re: Do you find this strange?
Posted by BackInNewYork
As long as they are ok with it then I don't think it's strange. Holidays mean something different to everyone.
I agree. I'm not sure why there's so much judgement in some of these posts.
They'll figure out what works for them eventually.
|
Posted 11/10/06 9:47 PM |
|
|
MABLE03
I <3 SATC
![](v/1897.jpg)
Member since 6/06 4563 total posts
Name: Fabulous
|
Re: Do you find this strange?
Posted by BackInNewYork
As long as they are ok with it then I don't think it's strange. Holidays mean something different to everyone.
I agree with the above. Personally I wouldn't be happy with that situation and it wouldn't work for us, but to each their own.
|
Posted 11/10/06 9:58 PM |
|
|
yankinmanc
Happy Days!
![](v/810.jpg)
Member since 8/05 18208 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Do you find this strange?
I don't find it strange, we have a couple of friend couples who do this as it makes most everyone happy. I think hey, if it works for you, who am I to think otherwise!! We also have the additional holiday of Boxing Day in the UK, so it gives everyone another day to get the family together...
|
Posted 11/11/06 4:11 AM |
|
|
Pages: [1] 2 |