DH's reaction to finding out.........

Was not the greatest!
I was on a high from finding out our little one is a girl..so yesterday I guess I didnt realize how unhappy he is right now.

We were both really convinced it was a boy...everyone told us it was.
So I guess we were both shocked but DH just admitted he is a tad depressed that its not a "boy" but happy.

Uh, that dosent make sense to me.
He is like...You are in your glory!
I would of been happy either way!!

Im so upset by this.

Message edited 12/12/2006 9:31:04 PM.

Re: DH's reaction to finding out.........

He probably got attached to the idea of having a boy. To play ball with, to carry on the family name, to do all sorts of guy things with.

Also, many men get nervous about having a girl. They instantly feel like they have to protect them more. They also can feel nervous about having to relate to them when they get a bit older. They know how to bond with a boy but they start to think... do I have to do girl stuff? tea parties with teddy bears? Oh no, how will I ever change her diaper?

Two of my best friends and both my SIL's have all girls and those are some of the things their DH's admitted to feeling at first.

He'll come around

Re: DH's reaction to finding out.........

He'll come around, probably by tomorrow

When I was PG...DH kept saying over and over how he wanted a boy. I was scared to go to my level II, because I thought he would be disappointed if it was a girl. When the tech told us girl, I looked at him, but he didn't look at me. I felt bad when we left and I kept apologizing over and over that I'm sorry it wasn't a boy. DH said as long as the baby was healthy, that's all that mattered. But for a few days, I still felt guilty and bad that it wasn't it a boy. But...I got over it once I started shopping

Re: DH's reaction to finding out.........

It probably will take some time for him to get used to. I know that most guys really do hope for a boy - even though they say that as long as it's healthy they don't care. DH could not contain how happy he was that it was a boy -and I was also wondering if I would get that same response if it was a girl.

BUT - Just wait until your DH holds his beautiful little daughter in his arms - he will melt.

He is also probably thinking of all the men he is going to have to fight off from her.

Re: DH's reaction to finding out.........

Debbie - when I was born, apparently my father cried bc I was not a boy...and later throughout the years he told me that I was the best thing that ever happened to him...that I was his little girl and always will be. I guess it a normal and a little selfish reaction that men have at first...that its not a boy. You're not the first and last one that has felt this way...I promise you that your husband wil come around and will be crazy about his little girl and never will imagine it any differently! Feel better sweetie!

Re: DH's reaction to finding out.........

Don't worry, he'll come around.
Tell him, she may not be a boy, but she'll be the best tomboy you can teach her to be!

My hubby's reaction when we found out we were having a girl "OH GREAT! Now we have a wedding to pay for!" Freaking priceless

Re: DH's reaction to finding out.........

my dh was disappointed at first too when he found out we were having a girl, but it grew on him. Now that's she's here he is so in love it doesn't matter to him at all.

Some men don't know what to do with a girl so they freak out at first, he'll come around

Re: DH's reaction to finding out.........

I'm not finding out, but I really want a girl - I may look a bit like your DH if its a boy, so I can relate..

but, once I hold whoever this is in my arms, I will fall in love - and so will your DH - just watch - she will be such a little daddy's girl, you are going to laugh at this time looking back!!!

Re: DH's reaction to finding out.........

My first is a girl and Dh wanted a boy( they all do). But she is such a daddy's little girl and he loves it. Just give him time to ge used to it

Re: DH's reaction to finding out.........

I am ashamed to admit but my reaction to having a girl was not a great one How could I be so stupid?? My DH was so upset with me. I just had my heart set on a boy. I can tell you when they hand that baby to you. It doesn't matter what it is as long as it's healthy. She is my everything!! He will come around. She will be daddys little girl.........

Message edited 12/13/2006 8:33:52 AM.

Re: DH's reaction to finding out.........

I think most guys hope for a boy, I know my DH did. I thought he was dissappointed when we found out that our lil one was a girl but he said I was nuts I know he will be wrapped around her little finger as soon as he lays eyes on her.

Re: DH's reaction to finding out.........

It's ok! Just you wait till that man holds his daughter in his arms....

and when she smiles at him


and when she giggles at him for the first time.

I didn't think DH could love someone more than me......until she came along!

Re: DH's reaction to finding out.........

Posted by btrflygrl

It's ok! Just you wait till that man holds his daughter in his arms....

and when she smiles at him


and when she giggles at him for the first time.

I didn't think DH could love someone more than me......until she came along!

Re: DH's reaction to finding out.........

A co-worker had once told me this and I think it was really sweet....

When she found put she was having a girl her husband was honestly disappointed. He swore it was going to be boy and even started buying boy things. My co-worker's father pulled him aside and told him that these moments all add up so shape up. He explained that when Steph's mom was pregnant - from the moment she knew - she loved that baby. She fell more and more in love as she felt the baby move and kick. To her the sex never mattered because she was consumed with the well-being - since she was very aware of what was going inside her. He (the dad) on the other hand admitted that all he had was expectations. He had no idea what his wife was going through and as hard as they all tried...no real bonding with the baby. BUT he said that the moment his daughter was born the world stopped for him and he fell so in love. At that moment he didn't care what the sex was, what she looked like...she was now his too. (Always makes me cry). He said that as he brought his daughter home all he thought about was how he could be the best dad to a little girl...and even walking her down the aisle. So he regretted that in the 9 months he had expected a boy and never allowed his heart to daydream about a girl...because he lost that time.


I know that my DH is hoping for a boy but I feel like it's a girl so I have been trying to refer to the baby in the she form as much as possible. He still has his expectations but I think with all the dads...they will fall in love the moment they see their baby - regardless of the sex. I feel like I will be going through the same thing you are now so I wanted to send lots of hugs. I think that for the most part...a lot of dad's are not so much disappointed...but scared. They don't know how to be a dad but they assume it will be easier with a boy. It'll be amazing to see how your little girl has your DH wrapped around her finger.

Re: DH's reaction to finding out.........

Posted by Ang-Rich

A co-worker had once told me this and I think it was really sweet....

When she found put she was having a girl her husband was honestly disappointed. He swore it was going to be boy and even started buying boy things. My co-worker's father pulled him aside and told him that these moments all add up so shape up. He explained that when Steph's mom was pregnant - from the moment she knew - she loved that baby. She fell more and more in love as she felt the baby move and kick. To her the sex never mattered because she was consumed with the well-being - since she was very aware of what was going inside her. He (the dad) on the other hand admitted that all he had was expectations. He had no idea what his wife was going through and as hard as they all tried...no real bonding with the baby. BUT he said that the moment his daughter was born the world stopped for him and he fell so in love. At that moment he didn't care what the sex was, what she looked like...she was now his too. (Always makes me cry). He said that as he brought his daughter home all he thought about was how he could be the best dad to a little girl...and even walking her down the aisle. So he regretted that in the 9 months he had expected a boy and never allowed his heart to daydream about a girl...because he lost that time.


I know that my DH is hoping for a boy but I feel like it's a girl so I have been trying to refer to the baby in the she form as much as possible. He still has his expectations but I think with all the dads...they will fall in love the moment they see their baby - regardless of the sex. I feel like I will be going through the same thing you are now so I wanted to send lots of hugs. I think that for the most part...a lot of dad's are not so much disappointed...but scared. They don't know how to be a dad but they assume it will be easier with a boy. It'll be amazing to see how your little girl has your DH wrapped around her finger.

Re: DH's reaction to finding out.........

My DH was the same way at first bc eveyrone kept saying it is going to be a boy..so for about 5 or 6 days he was werid then finally i asked and he said i am upset, but i will get over it, then now he is so excited that it is a and he talks to her every night.... I promise he will come to terms, I know my DH did...... Good Luck Deb and don't get upset...

Re: DH's reaction to finding out.........

As my father (the father of two girls) says

"The bigger they are, the harder they fall"

And I am sure he is going to just be in love with her from the moment that he feels her move.

We are having a boy, but I was scared that my DH would have the same reaction as yours, all along I kept saying "You know, it COULD be a girl" and he always said he was fine with it.

We found out it was a boy, I am thrilled I am going to have a DS and him being healthy is most important, but I will be completely frank with you, I was alittle sad that I am not having a little girl. I just always saw this baby as being a girl in my mind.

I think that these feelings are somewhat what makes finding out the sex at 20 weeks or so a GOOD thing. We have time to prepare and then can have all of our happiness for the birth.

Re: DH's reaction to finding out.........

I understand how you feel. My DH had a similar reaction when we found out our second was a boy. Dh was convinced we were having a girl (and wasn't too shy admitting his disappointment that we were not having a girl).
Sometimes they say things and don't realize the effect their words have on us (even if they don't mean them in the way we hear them). I'm sure once it registers, that a beautiful girl is on her way, he will come around.

Re: DH's reaction to finding out.........

My DH was convinced it was a boy too and was a little (tiny bit) disappointed when he found out it was a girl...I think it's normal.

But now that she is here, he's said to me more than once that he couldn't imagine it any other way and he's thrilled to have his little baby girl.

Give your husband some time, it took my DH a few days to get over the initial shock of finding out it was a girl.

Re: DH's reaction to finding out.........

Try and tell him that as long as your little baby is healthy, that's all that matters....

Re: DH's reaction to finding out.........

i think i am the only one in the opposite predicament, DH family is ALL boys, there are like 6 babies under 5 in the family now- all males, so everyone in his family is like oh i hope you have a girl, etc, even my DH is convinced its a girl, he wouldnt even discuss boy names at first b/c he said we aren't having a boy so it doesn't matter LOL, i know he would be thrilled with a healthy boy too, but i have a feeling, his family is going to be dispapointed if its another boy, me- its my first and my families first baby in a long time, so i just want a healthy baby, i have heard boys are easier, but i would love a little girl just the same

Re: DH's reaction to finding out.........

I agree he probably go attached to the idea of having a boy. Men think they will identify better with boys, for obvious reasons. He'll come around and, once she is born, he will be wrapped around her little finger. Don't be upset. He's probably just needing to get used to the idea.

Re: DH's reaction to finding out.........

I think all men want it to be a boy. My dh wants it to be a boy badly to lol.
But i think he will come around it just has to sink into him that it is a girl and once she comes out that is going to be his little girl and he is going to love her to death.
Sorry that he is feeling that way. But don't be down to cause the baby know when u are upset etc they can feel that.
He will come around.

Re: DH's reaction to finding out.........

Thank you everyone!

You all are right and definitely made me feel better.

I know he will come around.Just wished he felt the same way I did...happy either way.

TY again Ladies!! You girls are the best!

Re: DH's reaction to finding out.........

aww deb...don't worry... it'll change... he just has to get used to the idea now... he's probably just a lil shocked...he'll love this baby no matter what! boy or girl! his feelings will be the same!