Devastated!!!

Today was my first RE visit- Dr Pena, West Islip.

I have a 3 1/2 DD, who I got pg with in 1 month!!! This time around, we have been trying for 6 months and no luck.

My OB referred me to Pena because I am turning 35. I went in today expecting to leave with a prescription or maybe his advice to just give it more time- not even close to what happened.

He said that due to the many abdominal surgeries I have had and the fact that I had a freezing procedure done to my cervix back in college, that I probably had a lot of scar tissue in my pelvis and a scarred cervix. The scarred cervix could be why I never dialated more than 1 cm w/ DD and had to have a c-section, and why the doctor was unable to get the cather into my cervix for and hsg last year.

He said that our chances of getting pg naturally would be 1-4%, IF my tubes were no blocked and there wer no MF issues. If either of those were the case, then aour chances are 0%.

He is sending me for another HSG and bloodwork and bloodwork and a SA for DH.

If tubes are open and SA is ok, the 3 rounds of IUI w/ clomid.

That is $2,000 a month for 3 months, that we don't have. Even if we do it, he said that it would only increase our odds to 8%.

IF that doesn't work, then go to IVF at $12,000 first month then $6,000 each month after- with about 40% odds.

Our insurance does not cover IF treatment and we do not qualify for any grants.

What in the world will I do??? I am in shock??

How do you all do it??? How do you afford it??? Do you really trust the Doctors??? It makes me feel like it is such a business.

Help

Re: Devastated!!!

I was in the exact situation as you are with severe cervical stenosis after a cone biopsy and laser procedure. I found out about this after a failed attempt at an HSG. I was able to get PG pretty easily through unmedicated IUIs after a hysteroscopy, laparoscopy, tubal lavage and a D and C all done this spring at the same time. I miscarried but that was a function of me and not the Dr. or the IUI. I have also had abdominal surgery too.

I do not know much about insurance. Mine covers unlimited IUIs. It does not cover IVF so I had DH put me on his insurance in case we may need it, but I dont think we will . I am not on any medication and not so much as a trigger shot. I am 37 and for someone my age to get PG 2 months after this surgery, is pretty good.

I would suggest getting another opinion. Is there a reason why they want you on Clomid?

I hope this helps.

Message edited 12/17/2007 10:00:59 PM.

Re: Devastated!!!

Im sorry.
I have the same problem with severe cervical stenosis - but even with that AND a blocked tube and a seriosly tilted uterus (I mean like backwards LOL) I was able to get PG with clomid and a few IUIs. My HSG hurt, a lot. My internals - same thing. Even doing a biopsy was horrible. But, DH was OK and the IUIs didnt hurt at all.

The good news for you is you have had one baby already and that was with the cervical stenosis. And...you only need one tube working to get PG! Try to take it one day at a time and not look forward and think about all the what-ifs. Hopefully you wont have to worry about it at all...but right now, concentrate on the testing that your dr wants you to have. I'm actually really sruprised he/she felt your chances were that low right off the bat without testing.

ETA: there are ways to remove the scar tissue...surgical procedures that I looked in to briefly before getting PG. I agree with the PP about a 2nd opinion...

Message edited 12/17/2007 10:25:02 PM.

Re: Devastated!!!

I'm sorry you have to go through this. Check with your insurance company...they may not cover things such as retrieval and meds but they may cover your ultrasounds and bloodwork which can really add up. If they cover at least some things that should ease the financial burden somewhat but hopefully you don't have to find out and will get pregnant naturally.

Re: Devastated!!!

I agree in getting a second opinion...although the Dr. you saw sounds dead-on.
If money is a real issue, I would first look into the IVF grants. You may be able to qualify and it's worth it to check. Personally, because of the cost of IUI vs. IVF and since you are paying all out of pocket, I would lean towards going straight to IVF. If insurance doesn't cover either, you could waste a lot of money on IUI's. I know, I did it.
I also have Cervical Stenosis and had problems with every IUI and most IVF transfers until I requested a Hysteroscopy/Cutterage...this cleans off your cervix while giving the Dr. a good look at your uterus. I got PG on my first FET after. The fact that it was so easy for the Dr. to get through the cervix made a big difference.

Ask around, look on other IVF boards, but don't give up hope. You can find a way to have another baby, you just have to figure out the best way.

Re: Devastated!!!

I just wanted to wish you a lot of luck with this. I know what its like to hear devestating news from these doctors, but just don't lose sight of what you need to do. If you want a second opinion, go for one.

Re: Devastated!!!

I'm sorry for your bad news.

As far as paying the high costs of IF treatment, if you don't qualify for the grant there are other programs that allow you to pay over time, like a loan. Ask at your RE's office, they should be able to refer you to a program.

My insurance covers IUI but I still have a hefty copay for the meds and I pay $30 every doctor visit which really adds up. I put all that on the credit card - you can open a low interest/no interest card and use that to pay for it so you're not going out of pocket all at once. But I agree with the other ladies, try not to get ahead of yourself with the worst case scenarios at this point.

Best of luck to you.

Re: Devastated!!!

Wow, it sounds like you recieved a lot of information in a short amount of time.

Now do you ovulate on your own? If you do you could probably skip the Clomid for a month or two and just do IUI unmedicated (as long as your tubes are open). If you do this you will not have to be monitored or pay for the meds. For us, an IUI was only $350 without monitoring. Since you were able to get PG with your daughter so quickly this might be a good option. We tried this for 2 months (didn't work, but we have severe male factor so that's a different issue). All we had to do was call when I got a +OPK and go in the next day.

I'm in the same boat as far as IF coverage. We bascially have none so financially this is very overwhelming. It took a few weeks to let it sink in and then we decided that out of all the things we have to pay for, this would be worth it. Our whole IVF cycle including ICSI will be $11k and I was able to get meds from the clinic that were donated back for free (they do this to help the self-pay people, we lucked out that they had most of our meds). But before you go paying out $2k+ a month for mediocre chances at success (not to meniton delaing with possible failure month after month) it would pay to think about iVF for financial reasons (which is what we did).

I think you need to have a LOT more tests run to see what is going on though, before you even think about IVF. If it would make you feel better, get a second opinon- it never hurts and insurance usually covers it. You HAVE to feel comfortable with your RE as they are working for you and very closely with you. Also, give it time to sink in. This whole process is a roller coaster of emotions and when you first realize you may need help to get PG it's a scary time. Good luck, we're here for you

Re: Devastated!!!

I am so sorry you got upsetting news. Perhaps you should discuss options with your RE. Maybe you can do a few unmedicated IUI. Most RE offices offer payment plans as well, so you wouldn't have to pay everything at once.

I am lucky in that my insurance has a $20,000 lifetime for IUI/IVF,etc - but any monitoring, diagnostics, and medications are not part of this number, those things are covered by my regular medical ins. If it comes to the point in which we have exhausted the $20K, I am not sure what we will do.

Message edited 12/18/2007 10:31:16 AM.