Another Ectopic Pregnancy (very long)

An update since March 2008, I had another ectopic pregnancy earlier this week in the same tube and in the exact same location. Instead of surgery this time, the doctor gave me a shot of methrotrexate (sp?) to basically kill my unborn baby. (unfortunately there was no other choice) I do not understand how this happened to me again. I had an HSG performed to check my tubes, they were clear as per the doctor and I was given the okay to start ttc again. I do not know what to do anymore, I honestly do not think that I am ever going to be a mother and DH will never be the father of my child(ren) because I do not want to go through the that emotional and physical pain anymore. I am scared to death that it will happen again. The chances increase dramatically after every ectopic too. I just don't know what to do. I am all confused and scared. Thanks for listening...sorry this post is sooooo long.

My story...
AF was due 2/12. I POAS Valentine's Day at 5 am. I AM PREGNANT! I woke my husband up and told him to look in the bathroom. He and I were very excited and happy. We were full of wonderful emotions. We tell only our immediate family of our greatest news. Everything is going great until I wake up on 2/25. I wake up and go to the bathroom and notice that there is blood (bright pink/red) on the toliet paper (sorry TMI). I ignore the incident in the bathroom until I get to work later that morning. I call my doc and he says he is unavailable to see me as he has an emergency but would be able to see me the following day or says that if I feel the need to go to the hospital, go to the ER. After the phone conversation, I got extremely emotional and notified my supervisor that I am going to the ER. I sign in at the hospital and call my dh. He arrives about 1/2 hour after I signed in. We wait about 5 hours and I finally get called to the back to see a doctor. The nurse asks me why I am at the ER and I told her I am pregnant and bleeding. She takes my urine and take my blood. It is confirmed that I am pregnant. I wait about 5 hours more then I go for an ultrasound. In the ultrasound room the technician is unable to locate anything and calls in the resident doc and doc on call to request a vaginal ultrasound. During the vaginal ultrasound, they notice there are no signs of pregnancy in my uterus (no gestinational sac) but noticed that my baby is located in my left fallopian tube. They call it an ectopic pregnancy. That was the most devastating moment of both my and my dh's lives. I start crying uncontrollably because during the sonogram, we see the baby's heart beating. I think it would have helped if I never would have looked, it makes this whole process harder to deal with, makes it seem more real. So we eventually go back to the ER and wait for the results of the sonograms and the bloodwork. My husband and I have now been at the hospital for 12 hours. They admit me to the hospital and take me to my room. I have not stopped crying since the ultrasound and I am still crying now, as I have never been away from my husband and I have never been admitted to a hospital before and I do not understand why this happened to me. So they take more blood and I decide to attempt to go to sleep. My husband goes home and will return in the morning. I wake up the next day to more blood being taken and I go for another vaginal sonogram. It is confirmed. It is an ectopic preganancy and the baby's heart is still beating. I go back to the room and call my husband. He stays with me all morning, then early afternoon I go to surgery. In the operating room the doc performs a laparoscopy and I finally get to go home. The end to my story is this...I wake up one morning and I am pregnant, but go to sleep that night not pregnant. I had no time to even comprehend what was going on with me. My dh and I were thrown into this with no hope of saving the life of our unborn baby. We are beginning now (1 week after our baby was taken from us) to understand and try to come to terms with GOD that all things happen for a reason, what reason, we do not know, but GOD did not want our baby to survive. We just do not know why this happened to us. The pain of losing our baby is devastating and extremely painful. There are so many people that get the joy of being involved with the miracle of child birth that do not deserve it. Drug addicts, dead beat parents, etc. It is just so hard.

I want to thank everyone who takes the time to read this and want to apologize for the length of this post.

Just writing this has helped with my pain.

Re: Another Ectopic Pregnancy (very long)

im so sorry for your loss. I hope they can figure out why this is happening

Re: Another Ectopic Pregnancy (very long)

I'm very sorry for your loss. You came to the right place. We here know exactly how you feel. From the highest highs to the lowest lows. You'll grieve. You'll cry. You'll feel angry. But you'll be ok.

Re: Another Ectopic Pregnancy (very long)

OMG, how heartbreaking, I don't know what to say except I am so, so sorry.....

Re: Another Ectopic Pregnancy (very long)

I am so, so sorry for your loss.

Re: Another Ectopic Pregnancy (very long)

I am so sorry for your loss and please know that we are all here for you

Re: Another Ectopic Pregnancy (very long)

My heart breaks for you... I am so very very sorry for your loss.

Having been through 2 devestating ectopic pregnancies myself, both of which I saw a heartbeat, I can totally sympathize with what you are feeling and what you are going through. It is a terrible, awful thing.

Please feel free to FM me if you need to talk.

Re: Another Ectopic Pregnancy (very long)

I feel your pain and I completely understand the disappointment that comes with this very trying experience. I also had a m/c a few weeks ago.....stay strong. We'll get through this. Please feel free to FM me anytime

Re: Another Ectopic Pregnancy (very long)

I went through 4 ectopic pregnancies before I moved to IVF. I was told by a Dr that even if the hsg shows clear there could still be blockages in your tubes(slight that don't show up on hsg) is IVF an option for you? I am now 19.5 weeks with healthy twin boys.

I am so sorry for your loss. It is very hard.

Re: Another Ectopic Pregnancy (very long)

I already posted a reply on this thread in TTC but I just wanted to say again that when you are emotionally ready, I think you should consult a RE and seriously consider IVF to bypass any of your tubal issues. Don't lose hope!

Re: Another Ectopic Pregnancy (very long)

I'm so so sorry for your loss.

Take the time you need to grieve.

Re: Another Ectopic Pregnancy (very long)

I am so so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine.
Take your break and make your decisions when you are ready.

Re: Another Ectopic Pregnancy (very long)

I am so sorry for your loss!

Re: Another Ectopic Pregnancy (very long)

I had an ectopic pregnancy in February of last year and I know exactly what you are going through. I am so sorry you have to go through this.

My heart breaks for you and your DH. I have been there. This was the hardest thing DH and I have ever faced. It is difficult to comprehend right now, but I read somewhere that 1 in 11 ectopic pregnancies are fatal. I know you cannot see this right now, but you are lucky.

God bless you. FM me if you want to talk.