Spin-off to delivery room thread: visitors

So that thread got me thinking.........so how annoying is it after giving birth and having people come by? Be honest!!!

It doesn't bother me now, but never going through this experience, I am sure I might feel differently............

Re: Spin-off to delivery room thread: visitors

In the hospital I loved all my visitors.

At home it got knid of annoying just because it seemed someone was always coming by and I was always neatening up stuff beforehand, but it was OK.

Re: Spin-off to delivery room thread: visitors

It honestly does not take much to annoy me... I have a very low threshold.

I am thinking immediate family only-- and close friends. That's it.

Unless I somehow feel and look fabulous or I want a diversion from my pain.

Message edited 10/6/2008 8:25:50 PM.

Re: Spin-off to delivery room thread: visitors

I think in the hospital, it might not bother me esp since youre not in there too long. But at the same time, i will want (need) my rest so all those visitors could get exhausting.

When i come home i dont want visitors for a few wks. Just close friends and family

Re: Spin-off to delivery room thread: visitors

To be honest, after my C-section they wheeled me through to see my family on my way to maternity and I was SO drugged out on morphine I barely even remember the encounter so that didn't bother me. But I really enjoyed having the visitors. It broke up the day and gave you something to look forward to each day because it gets boring in the hospital. It helped though that St. Charles has restrictive visiting hours. It was grandparents only from 2-4pm with baby in the room and then general visiting from 7-8pm with baby in the nursery. It was the perfect amount of visiting time. My DH was with me pretty much morning, noon, and night.

**When I got home though it was exhausting having everyone come see her but that only lasted a few days and then people pretty much left us alone which is exactly what I needed while recovering from surgery**

Message edited 10/6/2008 8:46:31 PM.

Re: Spin-off to delivery room thread: visitors

I welcomed the visitors I had after DS was born. I was an emotional mess from the c-section and lack of sleep so seeing my friends and family helped me to feel a little more normal.

Re: Spin-off to delivery room thread: visitors

I think everyone's personality is different and experience is different so you can't really judge from others.

But since you asked, I was really upset and annoyed that as I was being wheeled from the delivery room to my room, all a mess and bleeding and in pain, I was bombarded with like 15 family members staring at me. Then you have to pretend to be happy and grateful and polite when all I wanted to do was get their asses out of there. I was hooked up to a catheter the next day so was none too pleased to get more visitors seeing me in my robe and urine bag. And there was nothing I could do about it because I told everyone not to come and they still did.

Yes, I am obviously still bitter about this, can you tell!

Re: Spin-off to delivery room thread: visitors

I had a c section and there were people there constantly. visiting hours were from 11-8 , way too long. It was really nice to see everyone, but it really was too much. part of the reason I put off trying to breastfeed DS was because our room was always full of visitors. and now I can only pump which I really regret not making BF my priority by the time it was 630 pm I was exhausted every day, it was just too much for me. coming home was even worse though! because you have to get stuff done, and it's just a stream of people constantly and noone will kick them out at 8PM

Re: Spin-off to delivery room thread: visitors

I would rather have visitors in the hospital as opposed to my apt. It's so small and hard to entertain in!!

Re: Spin-off to delivery room thread: visitors

With my first child, I had a difficult recovery. I had torn badly and had hemmeroids that were so painful.

I did appreciate the people who came but it was tough. I had a hard time sitting comfortably and walking was terrible too.

One of my friends even came during grandparents hour when I wasn't expecting anyone. I was a bit ticked at that. I was trying to use the bathroom (which was torture) and was going to try to close my eyes for a few minutes. I hadn't been sleeping well so I was pretty on edge.

Hopefully my recovery from this next delivery will be easier. I usually love visiting with family and friends. I'd love to enjoy it all this time around.

Re: Spin-off to delivery room thread: visitors

Posted by ChilisWife

I think everyone's personality is different and experience is different so you can't really judge from others.

But since you asked, I was really upset and annoyed that as I was being wheeled from the delivery room to my room, all a mess and bleeding and in pain, I was bombarded with like 15 family members staring at me. Then you have to pretend to be happy and grateful and polite when all I wanted to do was get their asses out of there. I was hooked up to a catheter the next day so was none too pleased to get more visitors seeing me in my robe and urine bag. And there was nothing I could do about it because I told everyone not to come and they still did.

Yes, I am obviously still bitter about this, can you tell!

Re: Spin-off to delivery room thread: visitors

At this point in time, I think I will welcome visitors. It's looking more likely that I'll have to have a C-section so I don' think I'll want anyone but close family there the first day. However, I don't think I'll mind visitors the next few days.

Re: Spin-off to delivery room thread: visitors

I was lucky.... almost no one came this is becuase most of my family and friends are in NYC, NJ and westchester...... mom was there (but also was there at delivery... she's never an intruder), and one of my friends visited me (totally looked forward to it, becuase it was only one friend), but I can't imagine having my room be like grand central after being in labor for 33 hours, not eating for 2 days, not sleeping for almost 3 days, and having all of that ooze coming out of me

if I got the chance to sleep, I wanted to sleep, not play hostess....

my IL's are only meeting little loaf for the first time this sat. they purposefully gave us our space so we could rest and recover. that is greatly appreciated

Re: Spin-off to delivery room thread: visitors

I had started a thread about this on the parents board a few mths back asking people to give honest thoughts. Many people replied they did not want so many visitors and they found it tiring and annoying. You do need your rest, you did go through a lot. So I know myself and I am going on that notion.

Message edited 10/6/2008 10:23:37 PM.

Re: Spin-off to delivery room thread: visitors

I had a ton of visitors - I think one night we actually counted 45 people. I loved it - they are all so excited to catch a glimpse of the baby!!!

Re: Spin-off to delivery room thread: visitors

DH and I planned not to have anyone in the L&D room after the deliver (we were allowed visitors for 1 hour until they moved me to Matenrity). But, I was foruntate enough to have a great delivery and we ended up having 8 people come in (4 grandparents and 4 very close friends). We were both so happy to be able to share our baby boy with everyone and celebrate the addition to our family.

I also welcomed visitors when I was in the Maternity ward as well. It helped break up the day and pass the time. But again, I had a very easy delivery. I imagine I would want to rest more if I wasn't feeling up to having visitors.

Re: Spin-off to delivery room thread: visitors

I think it depends on your personality.
It was like a party in the room right after I delivered. I loved it!
I had my MIL, my mom and dad and a few friends. I hope it is the same way next time too!

I loved having everyone visit me in maternity also. I felt great and loved having everyone come and see me at night. I had a private room and had a whole bunch of people come and see me.
I know they changed their hours at Winthrop. I liked having the hours at night only because I was BF and it is hard if you have visitors all afternoon. I am not looking forward to that change with my next baby. You also want qiet time and a little rest.

Re: Spin-off to delivery room thread: visitors

Before I went into the hospital I had these visions of everyone coming by to see DD and then having people (close family) at my house greeting us when we came home and how great that would be. Well, I had DD and all that changed. I was induced so I went into the hospital on a Monday night and Tuesday morning mine and DH's family started arriving at the hospital and hanging out in my room while I waited to have DD. This I didn't mind, it took my mind off the labor and made the time go by rather quickly.

Fast forward to having DD...I had her at 8:14pm. I got to hold her about 1/2 an hour before they took her to the nursery. They asked me if I wanted her in the middle of the night but I was so exhausted from not sleeping in 2 days that I said I would just take her in the morning. The next morning came and I got her around 9:00 am. All was great and then people started coming by. My FIL showed up first and held my DD the entire time until my MIL came, then she held DD the entire time and actually had the nerve to tell my parents when they came up that she wasn't ready to give up DD so they could hold her ( she had been holding DD at this point for about 2 hours). Needless to say the first full day of DD's birth I only got to hold her and bond with her for a short time. Then we came home and my inlaws invited themselves over everyday.

I had a very hard time with all of this. Because of my multiple m/c's I felt very lucky to be able to have DD and wanted to hold her and bond with her more than anyone else and I felt that my inlaws always took that away from me. When they would be holding DD and she would cry I would go to take her and console her and they would walk away from me...with DD. Aren't I the mommy?

Anyway, I could go on and on but I'd be going off topic. This time around I asked DH to please explain to his family that I do not want anyone at the hospital alllll day (they can come and visit, but do not have to stay for 8 hours) and I just want it to be me, DH, DD and my new DD the first day home. Let us get used to being a family of 4 first and soak in the moment.

Re: Spin-off to delivery room thread: visitors

I didnt mind having anyone in the hospital at all. I didnt mind people dropping by when I got home, what did bother me was how long people stayed. I had to make sure the house was clean, there was food/drinks, who ended up staying for dinner etc. Come stay a bit then leave, no need to stay for hours on end, the baby doesnt do tricks, your not gonna miss anything and this baby is going to be around for a lonnnnnnnng time.

Re: Spin-off to delivery room thread: visitors

I'm easily annoyed - So I can tell you I definitely don't want a parade of people at the hospital - Leave me alone and let me rest !!! I don't want to have to entertain anyone, and honestly, I don't really want a newborn baby passed around to 500 people either -

I usually skip the hospital visit b/c I kind of assume the mother is going to be totally exhausted and want to rest. -

I also skip the home visit until a few weeks in and then I call and ask if it's ok if I stop by for a few minutes .......Unless I happen to have a random day off during the week or something - I just feel like you have SO much going on and by the time I get home from work is the same time the new Dad would be getting home and I don't want to take away from that .....

I don't know, I just feel like, it's not about ME - it's about the new family and what they need. So do I really have to see that baby as soon as he/she is born? Y'know??

Some people appreciate this, others get ****** off like I don't give a crap and couldn't be bothered to come and see their kid -

Everyone is totally different -

Re: Spin-off to delivery room thread: visitors

My situation was a little different. I had our parents in the delivery room while I was just waiting to go into labor, and they helped pass the time for me.

After I had the baby, it was about 4 in the morning, and our parents came up to hold the baby and say goodbye. I was really tired and drugged up, so when my MIL was asking me a million freakin' questions, I said, "No offense, I know this is b!tchy, but I don't want to be bothered right now-leave me alone." She understood and they all left shortly after to let me rest. For some reason it really bothered me to have people there because I was just so exhausted.

Re: Spin-off to delivery room thread: visitors

Honestly the day of my c-section I did not want to know anyone but DS & DH. Really. I hated that random people that I barely talk to IRL felt that it was OK to visit that day. The next day I did not care.

Re: Spin-off to delivery room thread: visitors

Re: Spin-off to delivery room thread: visitors

For me it was annoying since I was trying to learn to BF---that is very annoying with DH's best friend waiting to come in the room!!

Re: Spin-off to delivery room thread: visitors

I had family & friends come up to the hospital to see us with DS and when we came home we had visitors after DS was a few weeks old. It will probably be the same way with this baby.