I am a little ashamed but it is life..

Hi Ladies....

I need help/recommendations on what to do...

I lost my job right after the wedding....

I worked for a financial company and they laid off 60% of their staff no severance no nothing....

I wasn't covered under Cobra and did not think I would need it...

I was looking for work when I found out I was pregnant....

I applied for Family Health Plus and I was accepted....

I have been going to this clinic for since I was 3 weeks that is when I found out.....

I have seen like 8 doctors all together.........

None of them know me or spend more than a few minutes with me....

I said ok fine .... I am sure if something would not be normal they would tell me

My last visit was 2 weeks ago and the doctor a new one flew off the handle and told me that I am disgusting and that I can not gain not even one more lb I actually need to lose 20lbs....

I started off overweight... not obese just overweight.....

I am 20 weeks and gained 20 lbs...

I understand that he is right I will definately watch what I eat and wont eat another slice of bread or anymore sweets or rice or potatoes or pasta......

but he wants me to eat just MEAT...

he said eat a half a chicken for breakfast eat 3 steaks for lunch and 4 egg omelet for dinner.....

he was so concerned about the baby that he gave me this huge dietary speech but then he never even checked to see that the baby was still alive ... (heartbeat)

he weighed me and then told me to come back in 3 weeks....

I went to an imaging place to see the sex of the baby and see how he was doing because before sat. I hadnt seen the baby for 7 weeks.....

I can see another doctor (only 1) in a private office and it is covered by my insurance

My question is should I switch?

Or should I see if at this clinic I can see just one doctor?

I was concerned because I am already 5 months?

Any ideas....

Again I am sorry to be in this situation but God only knows how I was blessed with this baby when nothing in my life is together... or how I would have planned

Re: I am a little ashamed but it is life..

I would definitely switch. No one should be calling you disgusting. We are ALL different, a good dr would know how to approach the situation the right way. I think you should definiltey switch if you can, you deserve better care than that. How far along are you? If you are far enough along that they can hear the hb with the doppler, they should be listening for it at every visit (once a mth usually at the point I think you are at). I am sorry you were treated that way. And I am not a dr but a high protein only diet doesn't sound like a great idea IMO, you need a balanced diet.

Message edited 11/11/2008 1:52:59 PM.

Re: I am a little ashamed but it is life..

Posted by Goobster

I would definitely switch. No one should be calling you disgusting. We are ALL different, a good dr would know how to approach the situation the right way. I think you should definiltey switch if you can, you deserve better care than that. How far along are you? If you are far enough along that they can hear the hb with the doppler, they should be listening for it at every visit (once a mth usually at the point I think you are at). I am sorry you were treated that way. And I am not a dr but a high protein only diet doesn't sound like a great idea IMO, you need a balanced diet.

Re: I am a little ashamed but it is life..

I would TOTALLY switch! That guy has some nerve saying that to you,.....how does he even call himself a doctor telling a pregnant woman to eat nothing but meat!!!!! Oh yeah, that is really healthy. You should send your SO back there to smack some sense into that A hole.

Re: I am a little ashamed but it is life..

I would go see the other dr so you can build a rapport with someone-plus, this guy sounds like a nut.

I switched drs during when I was pregnant with DD because we moved and I had no problems with the switch. Unless you are high risk, I don't think it is a big deal.

Many woman who are pregnant are overweight to begin with. I think they are told to gain less, but not sure the diet this dr recommended is healthy for you or your child. Having a well balanced diet is most important.

Good luck

Re: I am a little ashamed but it is life..

My gosh, doctors can be awful. He is totally out of line and unprofessional. I cant tell you how many ob's have told me that weight gain is very individual. Yes, it might be harder to get off after birth but no one should be putting you on a quote "diet plan". I can see cutting back carbs, they told me to watch them as they do tend to pack the lbs on quick but as far as how you should eat, eat to keep your baby healthy. Seriously, glad i wasnt in that room. I would have torn him a new one. I had a doc say to me you are up 48 lbs, sorda sarcastically and i said, what do you want me to do?! He said, well, at this point nothing..some say, dont worry and others are really hung up on weight. Just bc they say to gain 25-35lbs doesnt mean your body will do that..i have to wonder how that doc keeps patients. Good Luck and find someone better.

Re: I am a little ashamed but it is life..

You should absolutely switch Dr's. - If there is a private office that will accept your insurance, I would see that Dr and decide if you like him/her -
When you go to the clinic, you run the risk of having to deal w/ that jerkoff again ..........

NO person, pregnant or not should be told by a doctor that are 'disgusting' - that person is a poor excuse for a Dr.
And telling you to eat chicken for bkfst, steak for lunch and eggs for dinner ??
NO OBGYN or nutritionist would suggest doing that .........

Re: I am a little ashamed but it is life..

I would DEFINATELY switch !!!!...Not only does his/her bedside manner sound completely inappropriate, the advice that was given to you regarding your dietary needs sounds completely unprofessional as well..

Re: I am a little ashamed but it is life..

His behavior is DISGUSTING!, not you. what an idiot.. His diet suggestions are ridiculous also! If you can switch to a private attending do so.. Unfortunately after 20 weeks some privates say that the insurance you have doesn't allow them to take pts. on-- call around and look.. If you liked any doctor @ that clinic maybe they would take you on as a private pt.. That idiot- he should be commending you on even knowing enough to get insurance and prenatal care!! GL i hope it all works out for you!

Re: I am a little ashamed but it is life..

OMG, def switch!!!!

Re: I am a little ashamed but it is life..

Switch. There is no harm in at least talking to another doctor at another office. It sounds like they weren't spending much time with you, even before this incident (and there are no words for this doctor's behavior.)

Re: I am a little ashamed but it is life..

He really told you you were disgusting? Those were the actual words out of his mouth?

If that's the case, I'd totally report him. I'm sorry you had to go through that!!!

Re: I am a little ashamed but it is life..

Yes he said I was DISGUSTING and that isnt the worst...

I left crying from there and I weighed myself and have lost 6 lbs in 2 weeks because I am so depressed that I eat very very little.........

I cant eat a whole chicken in one day .......

that is not me.......

I made an appt for another doctor who works out of her own office and not a clinic and she accepts Family Health Plus.................

I am scheduled for Dec 15....

THANK YOU ALL FOR THE ENCOURAGEMENT........................


I swear when I go to the clinic everyone is kind of the same size as me I weighed 182lbs and I am 5'8 and when I saw him I was 204lbs.... Now I am 198......


I am going tomorrow for my AFP results......

Oh if I ask for my records they will release them to me?

Re: I am a little ashamed but it is life..

You have to switch! That's terrible!! Like you need that kind of stress and pressure during a pregnancy! That doctor is DISGUSTING!

Re: I am a little ashamed but it is life..

I would definitely switch...is he serious? And wow, telling you to just eat meat?! I am no nutricianist(sp?), but that sounds like a ridiculous doet for a pg woman!

Re: I am a little ashamed but it is life..

OMGosh definitley switch. This so called "Dr" is in the wrong profession. He doesn't deserve the title of...Anything! Shame on him!

You have to eat! The baby needs you to eat! Please find someone else.

Re: I am a little ashamed but it is life..

Wow. What an azzhole! No one should ever ever ever be called disgusting - who is he to say that to someone?! He should be ashamed of himself as a doctor and as a man.

Let me just say that I started off my pregnancy as "obese" on paper and never once has my doctor made me feel ashamed, alarmed, or scolded me. This has been a big concern of mine from the beginning and she has made me nothing but comfortable. In fact, she tells me how pleased she is with my limited weight gain and every time I've gone I've asked her if she is sure it is okay. This is how a doctor should treat a patient!

Def switch...I hope you like the new doc in December.

Re: I am a little ashamed but it is life..

I just wanted to say I am sorry you had to go through that. I agree with everyone else.

Re: I am a little ashamed but it is life..

I would report him to the AMA...

I can understand being concerned as a physician about weight gain, but sounds like the way he handled it was BEYOND unprofessional.

Let alone the dietary suggestion he gave you is LUDICROUS!!! What about fruits and veggies AND good carbs??

I personally would not only switch docs, but also find a nutritionist that will help you put together a HEALTHY diet that includes all food groups.

I cannot believe how irresponsible and unprofessional this guy was.