And so the jealousy begins....

I didn't think it would ever happen to me.... but lo and behold here it is.... I now get insanely jealous whenever I hear an announcement (IRL) that someone is pregnant. Friends, co-workers, acquaintances etc. I want to be happy and excited for them but it's so hard when it seems it will never be my turn. OH and when it's someone who is unhappy about their situation or should not be reproducing because they can't handle the kids they already have then that REALLY upsets me.... it's not fair .......

Sorry for the whining post.... Anyone else with me on this?

Re: And so the jealousy begins....

Yes! I am with you and it never ends. And it gets worse when people have their second and third babies and you still cannot even get ONE!

Re: And so the jealousy begins....

of course!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

More people feel this way than will admit. I don't like to think of it as jealousy....just envy.

Try and think back on how you felt when all your friends had boyfriends, and you didn't. And then when all your friends were getting engaged, and you didn't even have a boyfriend. And then you had a boyfriend, and all your friends were already married. And when you got engaged, and all your friends were buying houses, and you weren't even married yet......And now this.....its just the typical cycle of events, and you, too, will get yours!

And you will have an adorable cuddly baby, when everyone else has 2 year olds running around screaming and having temper tantrums. And when your child is a gorgeous 10 year old, everyone else will have awkward teenagers. And so on and so forth. Being the first is not always the best!

Message edited 3/18/2009 9:55:27 PM.

Re: And so the jealousy begins....

yes, I feel happy for them when they announce their pregnancy, but also envious. And it does seem so unfair when it is someone who already has 2 or 3 kids; or if they didn't really want the pregnancy in the first place!!

But try not to let it bother you too much; we will get there, too!

Re: And so the jealousy begins....

you are absolutely NOT alone in feeling this way. before i got PG with DS (we were trying for about 9 months) i was so envious of anyone PG around me. i would hear about a pregnancy and i would just come home and cry. i had the whole pity party and what not...
i remember writing a similar post to yours and asking the same question.
dont be too hard on yourself...i know its hard, but those feelings are natural.
now, when i look at my 19 month old i thank God that i got PG when i did bc had i conceived any other month, it would not be that little boy!


hang in there...

Message edited 3/18/2009 10:33:09 PM.

Re: And so the jealousy begins....

just wanted to say sorry you are feeling this way. i know it can be so tough and you feel bad about the jealousy -- hopefully you will get you own BFP soon and be the one sharing news with friends & family.

Re: And so the jealousy begins....

you're not alone - i just had a pity party for myself tonight - yet another friend bites the dust. don't get me wrong - i'm happy for all these folks - i just wish it were me too.

Re: And so the jealousy begins....

you not alone...and all i see is pregnant women everywhere! lol...don't worry your time will come!!!

Re: And so the jealousy begins....

You are not alone. I have been working through these feelings for 2 years. It hasn't gotten any easier but what has happen is that I accept that I feel this way and try not to fight it or feel bad about it.

I always put on the big smile but alone I give my self a good cry and then I think positive and try my best to move on. It is hard but I tell myself that one day it's all going to be so worth it.

Your time will come. Lots of luck &.

Re: And so the jealousy begins....

I think most, if not all of us have been there. I know I have. You smile, congratulate, be all happy go lucky and then go home and cry your eyes out behind closed doors and ask why that is not you. And I feel your pain about seeing people who shouldn't have kids easily reproduce, because in my line of work (I am an attorney for children), I represent a lot of children on neglect/abuse cases and the mother comes in preggo, even though DSS took her other children away and will probably take the one she is pregnant with away so she can go out and continue to smoke crack. I can't tell you how many times when we first started trying I would take "crying breaks" in the bathroom. But you somewhat get used to it all after awhile and while it still hurts and stings, you just have to keep your hopes up that your time will be coming soon!

So vent away-we all get like this from time to time!

Re: And so the jealousy begins....

I wouldn't say it's jealousy - but I have had some recent feelings that I wish it was me.

Over the summer, I briefly worked with a woman who had twins and a young child. We were talking about more kids - I have one. I told her I was thinking about it, and she said she may try again soon.

Well, I just found out she is due in April - so she must have tried that month, and got PG immediately. We tried recently for 3 months, and nada.

I also see woman on here say - hey we may TTC next month - and BAM - no issues - pregnant immediately.

I don't let it get to me, but when I hear someone who said they were trying, and they get PG immediately - not even using any method - just "guessing" the way we tried to do, it makes me feel like I can't get this right.

Re: And so the jealousy begins....

You ladies are all so amazing, thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for all of these heartfelt replies!!!! You are all right, my time will come and so will all of yours!! Thank you thank you thank you girls!!

Re: And so the jealousy begins....

Try to look at it like this "Yippee! that will be me one day!"

Re: And so the jealousy begins....

I think it's totally normal and okay to feel that way!

I feel like everyone around me IRL is getting pregnant left and right.

Just know there is no cap or limit on the number of people that can be pregnant in this world so hopefully you will soon be joining them and have someone to share your adventure with!

Re: And so the jealousy begins....

the lady I babysit for is pregnant, so I see her daily. We started TTC around the same time, she is due late in the summer.

I don't know if I am jealous, but I am definitely envious. She is planning out her nursery, happy her kids will be close in age...I just stand there and smile.

Re: And so the jealousy begins....

It's really hard to not feel jealous. I have a son and I am still jealous of my friends that always seem to get pregnant the first try. then they give me advice or tell me to chill out. honestly i am not even stressed about it. i have a child already so my worst case scenario isn't all that bad if I couldn't have another.

I don't think that you are as jealous per se as it is annoying when you want something so badly and it seems to be handed to others so easily, especially when that other person seems to take it for granted, or make insinuations that your not being pregnant is because you are doing something wrong.

Re: And so the jealousy begins....

I just wanted to add that one thing that helped me the first time around was that every month I wasn't pregnant I would tell myself it's because the baby I was meant to have wasn't ready yet. When they were ready then I would get pregnant. Well, I love my son so much and I am so glad it didn't happen the first few months I was trying because then I wouldn't have him. He was the one that was meant to be. Now, I know in reality I would think that about any child that I had but somehow the thought makes me feel better. Maybe if i got pregnant the first few months that kid would have been a really brat!

Re: And so the jealousy begins....

lululu...that's a great mindset. I enjoyed your message very much. thanks!

Re: And so the jealousy begins....

Same here that's why we are all here