interesting conversation at work today

so i work at an elementary school. our days revolve around kids- obviously you have to like kids and really care about them to work with them this closely everyday.
SO today at lunch i was sitting with a couple kindergarten teachers and the guidance couselor. we were talking about how some parents just have no clue about raising kids, and just let them get away with everything- they don't want to deal with them.
and the guidance counselor said " this is why i won't even have kids. i KNOW what it takes to raise them well, and how much attention you need to give them, how much they take out of you. And i know that i just wouldn't be able to give that much of myself all the time..."
NOW, this is not a horrible person AT ALL. her JOB is to care about kids and help them through their problems, etc. shes not some evil monster who hates children. she is just being honest with herself about what she can and can't do. I think its AWESOME, and i think more people should think like this, rather than just having kids because its "the thing to do".

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I think that is wonderful. One of the reasons that I am at least delaying having kids is because I am horribly selfish. I love and adore sleeping, and taking long hot showers and reading and watching my shows. Sometimes, my dog will whine for a half hour before I feel like getting off my behind to let him out. I would be a horrible mother, LOL.

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I felt that way when I was teaching too. In the classroom you see all kinds of families, and the effects different parenting styles have on the students. It's a big part of why I waited so long to want children of my own - I saw every single day how huge a responsibility raising children is. And I knew at the time that I wasn't yet prepared to give that much of myself willingly.

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I agree with you. I think it takes a lot to admit that too !

I was actually waiting for you to say the other women made a mean comment or looked at her like she was crazy ! How jaded am I

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That is really amazing!
People who don't want kids are not evil child haters. She sounds like a wonderful person

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Halleluja! good for her for speaking honestly.

now i'm wondering what all the others at the table responded to this....

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I've said something to that effect, how hard it must be to raise a child properly. And a few people blew that off like - it's not THAT hard and that I could do it.

I don't know... I always hear how hard it is. If someone says it's a piece of cake, is that a sign they're doing it wrong? And shouldn't the first test of how good a mother I'd make be actually wanting them in the first place?

She sounds pretty well adjusted to me. I'm glad she's secure in her decision.

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See- this is EXACTLY how I feel.
And I openly admit it too.

I am selfish. I am lazy. I admit it and embrace it. It's part of me.

I like to go out- have my freedom- party and drink, sleep late, take naps, do absolutley nothing.
I would be TERRIBLY upset having to give ANY of that up. ANY of it.

I really don't think it's fair to bring a child into the world with a parent like me.

I don't even take care of my house, how would I take care of a child?

I never wanted kids- and I think that might be part of it.

Do I hate kids? No. I love seeing babies, babysitting, etc... I don't eat kids for breakfast.

But to have my own- just not for me...

Message edited 5/5/2009 12:53:15 PM.

Re: interesting conversation at work today

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I don't think there is anything wrong with what she's saying. And I don't think it is selfish. I think it's honest.