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TTC-DL
LIF Infant
Member since 6/09 159 total posts
Name:
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the stress of TTC on your marriage
DH and I haven't been TTC for that long, but I can already tell that it is putting a LOT of unwanted stress on our marriage overall.
I don't know how to handle it. I try to talk to DH, but he is non-responsive and that just makes me more angry !!
Timed BD'ing is the biggest problem. DH's hours at work can sometimes be crazy, so for me to say "let's go now I got my smiley" is the biggest stress. I don't want to just go through the motions.
I feel like I am at such a loss. I just want to get my BFP so we can stop stressing over TTC and start stressing over baby stuff !!  At least that's a happier stress !
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Posted 6/19/09 11:20 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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MrsList
Sweet cheeks
Member since 4/09 1696 total posts
Name:
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Re: the stress of TTC on your marriage
We have the same exact problem. It's only been 2 months of TTC and I'm already feeling the stress a little.
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| Posted 6/19/09 11:44 AM |
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maybeamommy
Blessed beyond belief
Member since 10/07 17048 total posts
Name:
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Re: the stress of TTC on your marriage
It can definitely get difficult at times - but try to not tell DH when you are ovulating. If you do get your smiley, just try to make BD as natural as possible...
timing it is never fun - so you have to try to make it look/feel as spontaneous and natural as possible! 
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| Posted 6/19/09 12:46 PM |
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an9elic
♥ HJ ♥
Member since 6/07 3331 total posts
Name:
kristen
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Re: the stress of TTC on your marriage
i couldve written this myself! so there with you on this!! i hope it gets better!  
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| Posted 6/19/09 12:49 PM |
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lbw
I am ONE !!!!!
Member since 5/07 1560 total posts
Name:
Lisette
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Re: the stress of TTC on your marriage
I hear you...it can be so stressful and sometimes no fun at all.
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| Posted 6/19/09 2:56 PM |
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TTC-DL
LIF Infant
Member since 6/09 159 total posts
Name:
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Re: the stress of TTC on your marriage
Posted by maybeamommy
It can definitely get difficult at times - but try to not tell DH when you are ovulating. If you do get your smiley, just try to make BD as natural as possible...
timing it is never fun - so you have to try to make it look/feel as spontaneous and natural as possible!
Problem with that is DH askes me if I got a smiley or not when he knows I am doing an OPK !! Sometimes I will do it and leave it on the counter in the bathroom to "process" and he sees it before I do !
We got to arguing the other night and I told him that we have to just "go with the flow" and try not to think about it too much, and he said how could he just "do it" without thinking about if that's the time that is going to work. I tried to tell him that it doesn't matter what time works....it matters that we are enjoying what we're doing and not just BDing to "make a baby" The fight escalated from there, and a LOT of things were said that weren't ment....and I thnk we are past it, but I haven't really seen him much this week because of his work schedule, so we'll see what this weekend brings.
I am trying so hard to calm myself down when I get upset, but there are plenty of times I want to take a xanax (I have the smallest dose of .25) My dr said that once in a while (like I have taken them in the past) is okay as long as it's not more then 2-3 times a week and NONE after I get a BFP. I took one about 2-3 weeks ago when I got AF after a very long cycle and BFN's. Having this constant knot in my chest isn't good either though.....
for all of us, and thanks girls for making me see that DH and I are not crazy for being stressed about this !!
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| Posted 6/19/09 4:00 PM |
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noname1
LIF Infant
Member since 2/06 98 total posts
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Re: the stress of TTC on your marriage
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| Posted 6/19/09 4:09 PM |
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JenMarie
One day at a time
Member since 11/07 7397 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: the stress of TTC on your marriage
This is why I don't want to use OPKs just yet. DH wants me to use them but I want to just BD every other day for a bit to see if that works for us because I'm already stressed and don't want the added stress of using the OPKs. We're just starting so maybe I'll feel differently if we don't get a BFP in a couple of months. But I think you need to try to make BD as natural as possible. Try to put the focus back on the two of you instead of on making a baby. I'm a strong believer of things happening for a reason and when they're supposed to.
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| Posted 6/19/09 10:55 PM |
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Ever-After
Goals w/o plans r just wishes
Member since 6/09 2585 total posts
Name:
C
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Re: the stress of TTC on your marriage
This is something I've thought about as well. DH and I haven't actually began TTC just yet. (we're working on it, but haven't gotten down schedules of O and such yet). But I do wonder if it could cause strain on a marriage. I get more nervous about us inwardly 'blaming' one another if it doesn't happen as quickly as we would like it to. Neither of us are the type to 'turn on' each other, but still.
Hopefully we're able to keep it fun and exciting. So far so good, but like i said - we've barely even begun so who am I to say
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| Posted 6/19/09 11:13 PM |
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