Vent: Internal conflict about choosing to be SAHM or working mom

I was so psyched about being a SAHM. Fortunately we can do this. I pretty much told family that I would be a SAHM once I gave birth. I gave birth and my mind became my worst enemy. Such an internal conflict. I love my job as a teacher. I love the idea of being a SAHM. Either way I would be happy. I changed my mind and have decided for this school year to return and see how I can handle it. (DH is self employed and can change his schedule and my inlaws will help babsit). To make a long story short I was semi ok with my decision because obviously it is a big change. Here is my vent...*** is wrong with people. When I said I was going to be a SAHM, I got responses nearly mimiced "oh you poor girl that's not a real job, real women work". Then when I changed my mind the response was virtually a "how could you do that to your child, she is so young and needs mommy!" *** don't people know this is one of the most difficult decisions a mother has to make. Words of encouragement please! I have had such stress over this and know many of you understand what I am going through.

ETA: I am planning to be a SAHM when DC#2 is born within the next few years.

Message edited 6/24/2009 2:18:25 PM.

Re: Vent: Internal conflict about choosing to be SAHM or working mom

Some people need to criticize everyone else's choices to make themselves feel better.

These are generally people who are insecure in the decisions they've made for their own family and take it out on anyone who is different.

Don't listen to them-they are just miserable or narrow minded. Figure out what is right for you and your family and do that

Re: Vent: Internal conflict about choosing to be SAHM or working mom

well, you just summed up parenthood.

no matter what decisions we thoughtfully make, we're always judged negatively by some people.... there's no winning in this situation!

so, you just have to ignore everyone, and make decisions solely between you and your DH. Only you know what's best!

Re: Vent: Internal conflict about choosing to be SAHM or working mom

I know how you feel, I always swore I wanted to be a SAHM. Then I had DS and I wanted to go back to work!! Luckily I was able to keep a PT position where I only work one overnight shift a week. But I still have moments where I think about going FT. Don't worry what others say, people have something to say about every choice you make

Re: Vent: Internal conflict about choosing to be SAHM or working mom

IMO, "Real women" take care of their families and depending on the family, it could be as a SAHM, or someone who works outside the home.

I have learned to be very vague with information I give out to people I am not that close to. I don't really care that much about their opinions, and am not really interested in hearing the unsolicited ones.

Re: Vent: Internal conflict about choosing to be SAHM or working mom

I did not get comments like that. But I can see people saying that.

You can always go back to work, you can't always go back in time to take care of your child once they grow.

So go forward with that in mind. That's what keeps me going on days when I say "What did I do?"

Being a SAHM is much m uch harder than I ever thought it would be.