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soveryupset
LIF Zygote
Member since 9/09 14 total posts
Name:
maria
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Message edited 7/11/2012 1:29:13 PM.
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Posted 9/17/09 12:56 PM  |
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CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!
Member since 5/05 14021 total posts
Name:
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Re: Please tell me I'm not a bad mom
Being a mom is HARD and none of us is perfect. Don't beat yourself up and try to remember this feeling next time you get upset as it might help you to react differently. 
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| Posted 9/17/09 1:01 PM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: Please tell me I'm not a bad mom
first of all 
you're not a bad mom - what you did was bad (i know that you know that already  ) but that doesn't make you a bad mom overall.
we all have days where our kids drive us insane. and i will admit i've screamed at DS to be quiet and stop whining. but i've never squeezed his arms. while i am sure you did not hurt your DD, my concern is that if you got more frustrated it could possibly escalate into something worse.
do you notice yourself more frustrated with her these days, or is this an isolated incident? it might help for you to talk to someone - a social worker, a therapist, your OB - anyone who can offer some advice and help you out.
i also think you should practice walking away. at 4 months it is perfectly okay to put her down someplace safe like her crib, PNP or her swing and walk away. that will allow you time to stop, take some deep breaths, scream into a pillow, whatever you need to do to calm down.
and we are always, always here to listen!!
ETA: she definitely is not going to remember you screamed at her! don't worry about that at all.
Message edited 9/17/2009 1:03:20 PM.
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| Posted 9/17/09 1:02 PM |
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soveryupset
LIF Zygote
Member since 9/09 14 total posts
Name:
maria
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Message edited 7/11/2012 1:29:28 PM.
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| Posted 9/17/09 1:02 PM |
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dapnkap
Our 3 angels
Member since 7/07 4824 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: Please tell me I'm not a bad mom
You're not a bad mom! We've all been there and no, your daughter won't remember this.
Hang in there! Take some deep breaths and call out if you need help!
No one said this parent thing was going to be easy!
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| Posted 9/17/09 1:03 PM |
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SweetTooth
I'm a tired mommy!
Member since 12/05 20105 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: Please tell me I'm not a bad mom
Frustration and sleep deprivation has gotten the best of all of us. She will not remember you yelled at her.
What I would find that helped when I got that frustrated was to put DC in the crib, and step away. Go take a shower, even if DC is screaming. You will be able to calm down and when you go back to her, you will be in a different frame of mind.
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| Posted 9/17/09 1:04 PM |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Please tell me I'm not a bad mom
As a parent, I am sure we have all done things we are ashamed of. However, I think you have to try to better control your emotions than to react this way. If you are getting that upset, I think it's always better to put the baby down in a safe place (crib, PNP, bouncer, etc.) and let them cry for a little bit while you can collect yourself and cool off.
Is there someone you can call to come over for a little while and give you a break? It's really hard in the beginning and you need to get at least a short rest, or a break from taking care of her.
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| Posted 9/17/09 1:05 PM |
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Calla
My girls
Member since 7/05 4303 total posts
Name:
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Re: Please tell me I'm not a bad mom
She won't remember but fortunately you will. Time to think about ways for you to get more support and for you to think about what you can do different the next time you are frustrated. At that age when my frustration was getting too much I would put the baby down in the crib and give myself a time out for a minute.... it made a big difference in my patience when I came back... Also just walking outside with the screaming child would often surprise her enough to calm down some or would relax me a bit...
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| Posted 9/17/09 1:05 PM |
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MrsRbk
<3 <3 <3 <3
Member since 1/06 19197 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: Please tell me I'm not a bad mom
Posted by SweetTooth
Frustration and sleep deprivation has gotten the best of all of us. She will not remember you yelled at her.
What I would find that helped when I got that frustrated was to put DC in the crib, and step away. Go take a shower, even if DC is screaming. You will be able to calm down and when you go back to her, you will be in a different frame of mind.
ITA w/this.
I will say though that if you feel you are getting frustrated often, that you should call your OB as this could be a sign of post partum depression.
Your DD is much too young to remember that you yelled at her.
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| Posted 9/17/09 1:06 PM |
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Re: Please tell me I'm not a bad mom
We have all been there with the sleep deprivation and the frustration. To be honest the best investment for me at that time was my IPOD. When I would feel myself getting to this point I would put DS back in his pnp/crib and go in my room and put on something that would take me away for 2-3 minutes. It's amazing what that 2-3 minutes can do. Try to take it easy. Ask for help from DH/Family. Even us on here. Plenty of these woman are more than willing to lend a helping hand for an hour or two of sleep.
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| Posted 9/17/09 1:07 PM |
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kerrycec03
Mom of 2 beautiful boys!!
Member since 6/06 13519 total posts
Name:
Kerry
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Re: Please tell me I'm not a bad mom
being a mom is tough especially when we are all soo sleep deprived.
What I would do when DS gets in his screaming fits (especially when he was like 3 mos) is I would put him in the crib, shut the door and I'd walk outside for a few minutes. It helped me unwind a bit. Plus, in the crib I knew he was ok
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| Posted 9/17/09 1:08 PM |
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lvdolphins
My Loves!
Member since 5/05 46292 total posts
Name:
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Re: Please tell me I'm not a bad mom
Posted by SweetTooth
Frustration and sleep deprivation has gotten the best of all of us. She will not remember you yelled at her.
What I would find that helped when I got that frustrated was to put DC in the crib, and step away. Go take a shower, even if DC is screaming. You will be able to calm down and when you go back to her, you will be in a different frame of mind.
I 100% agree with this. I find (even with my 2 year old DS as well) that if I just step out of the room, get myself together, deep breaths, I feel so much better!
You are NOT a bad mom! She will not remember this!
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| Posted 9/17/09 1:09 PM |
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bonitachyc
big sister status may 2012!!
Member since 5/08 3242 total posts
Name:
Lupe
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Re: Please tell me I'm not a bad mom
go out and get some fresh air. it will do you both alot of good. babies don't remember anything. if at 8 months old i let my dd CIO all night long and she woke up the next day with a huge grin on her face, believe me your dd won't remember it at all. just make sure to realize when you're hitting your "okay i'm about to snap" point and actively try to avoid getting there. we've ALL had our "OMG YOU NEED TO STOP SCREAMING" days. i know i have. you are not a bad mom. you feel remorse and that's what makes this okay. now get out there and breathe some fresh air!!
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| Posted 9/17/09 1:09 PM |
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soveryupset
LIF Zygote
Member since 9/09 14 total posts
Name:
maria
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Message edited 7/11/2012 1:29:44 PM.
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| Posted 9/17/09 1:11 PM |
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Angel321
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Member since 4/08 15553 total posts
Name:
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Re: Please tell me I'm not a bad mom
when emma's colic was at it's worst (i did NOT have it as bad as some women on here - but we dealt for 1.5 months)....my screaming and crying was sometimes louder than hers...and i'm not joking.
i still remember screaming - tell me what to do to help you!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i do have to say your post sounds a lot like how i was before i saw my doc for post partum depression....
i'm now on meds and feel SO much more like myself than i did for any period of time after she was born...
if you need to vent/talk/scream/cry - please reach out...we're here for you and it's more likely than not that we've ALL been there!
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| Posted 9/17/09 1:14 PM |
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2PreciousBlessings
The Perfect Pair
Member since 5/06 19861 total posts
Name:
Best Wife & Mommy
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Re: Please tell me I'm not a bad mom
Posted by SweetTooth
Frustration and sleep deprivation has gotten the best of all of us. She will not remember you yelled at her.
What I would find that helped when I got that frustrated was to put DC in the crib, and step away. Go take a shower, even if DC is screaming. You will be able to calm down and when you go back to her, you will be in a different frame of mind.
ITA!!!
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| Posted 9/17/09 1:16 PM |
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soveryupset
LIF Zygote
Member since 9/09 14 total posts
Name:
maria
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Message edited 7/11/2012 1:35:51 PM.
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| Posted 9/17/09 1:16 PM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Please tell me I'm not a bad mom
Posted by shamrock124
Being a mom is HARD and none of us is perfect. Don't beat yourself up and try to remember this feeling next time you get upset as it might help you to react differently.
I agree completely.,..we have ALL been there...don't beat yourself up over it, just try to act differently next time, take 10 minutes to yourself to cool off if you feel stressed, let her cry if yoou have to
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| Posted 9/17/09 1:17 PM |
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JennZ
MY LIFE!!
Member since 8/05 25463 total posts
Name:
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Re: Please tell me I'm not a bad mom
Posted by SweetTooth
Frustration and sleep deprivation has gotten the best of all of us. She will not remember you yelled at her.
What I would find that helped when I got that frustrated was to put DC in the crib, and step away. Go take a shower, even if DC is screaming. You will be able to calm down and when you go back to her, you will be in a different frame of mind.
ITA!!! I would go sit on the step outside for 5 mins and regroup and come back. You mental state is key. Take time for YOU and it will get easier. Just the other day, DS was teething HORRIBLY. I could NOT take another min of screaming. I put him in his swing, went outside on my terrace smoked a cigarette(Im sure you dont smoke, just saying) went in washed my hands and felt a million times better. Sometime you just need 5 mins. It makes a world of difference.
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| Posted 9/17/09 1:18 PM |
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Angel321
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Member since 4/08 15553 total posts
Name:
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Re: Please tell me I'm not a bad mom
Posted by soveryupset
So because I lost it and screamed at her, I could have Post Partum Depression?
i am NOT judging - but you did not just scream at her. you squeezed her arms...you didn't do any damage to her & she will NOT remember - but that to ME is a little step beyond the normal and average level of frustration....
i was not trying to insult you or make you nervous at all...but just giving my opinion as someone who was there...that's all.
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| Posted 9/17/09 1:20 PM |
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soveryupset
LIF Zygote
Member since 9/09 14 total posts
Name:
maria
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Message edited 7/11/2012 1:31:14 PM.
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| Posted 9/17/09 1:21 PM |
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soveryupset
LIF Zygote
Member since 9/09 14 total posts
Name:
maria
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Message edited 7/11/2012 1:29:02 PM.
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| Posted 9/17/09 1:22 PM |
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BaroqueMama
Chase is one!
Member since 5/05 27530 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Please tell me I'm not a bad mom
Posted by soveryupset
So because I lost it and screamed at her, I could have Post Partum Depression?
In short, yes. Of course it doesn't mean you definitely have PPD, but it is definitely a sign of it. I know that for me, it was.
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| Posted 9/17/09 1:27 PM |
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MrsRbk
<3 <3 <3 <3
Member since 1/06 19197 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: Please tell me I'm not a bad mom
Posted by soveryupset
These are great ideas.
I need to step outside and get away when she screams. She wakes up like this sometimes and it's so tough. I want to say, "YOU JUST WOKE UP! HOW CAN YOU BE THAT HUNGRY!"
At 4 months old, they usually are that hungry when they wake up.
I do agree with Jess (as I posted in my previous post), you could have PPD. So a situation like this doesn't happen again, I would definately call your OB and talk to him/her about how you are feeling.
The impression that I'm getting from reading your posts is that while the squeezing of the arms is an isolated incident, you have these feelings of frustration when she screams more often.
It's so hard when they are that little and their only source of communication is to cry, I get it, I've been there, but PPD is serious and you should speak to someone.
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| Posted 9/17/09 1:27 PM |
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soveryupset
LIF Zygote
Member since 9/09 14 total posts
Name:
maria
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Message edited 7/11/2012 1:30:54 PM.
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| Posted 9/17/09 1:29 PM |
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