Question for breastfeeders...what do you do when the baby NEVER comes off the breast?

Lucian and I have had a rough road breastfeeding. my supply came in a bit late and he it turns out is a lazy breast milk eater.

every time I put him to the breast, he falls asleep. I do all the standard methods of waking him, but it's a never ending process. he has NEVER pulled himself off. I've always had to extricate my nipple from his bear trap mouth

I pump about 8 times a day, giving him what I take out (about 1 to 1.5 oz per breast every 3 or so hours...not sure how that stacks up)

I am now trying to pick up my supply. I put him to the breast a few times during the day before his bottle feeding. he is definitely drinking while he is on there but he falls asleep with the nipple in his mouth and if I try to take it out he starts to suck.

also, my right breast is totally afraid of him. we are great on the left, but he MURDERED my right nipple the first week. truth be told, my production is better on the left side b/c he's on there more often.

I love breast feeding and having him there. but at night, it's just too long of a process and we both end up falling asleep...which would be all I need..and then I am afraid my boob will smother him.

my ped has already noted that bf'ing was causing me great anxiety..and it definitely does. I am trying to be calm about it and get more into it...I just need to figure these things out.

anyway thanks.

and especially thanks for responding when I have been nothing but a taker on this board so far. I feel badly not responding to anything else...but it's better off...since I really don't know SHYTE.

Re: Question for breastfeeders...what do you do when the baby NEVER comes off the breast?

My pediatrician explained that the sucking reflex is comforting to them, and instead of being a human paci I should give her a pacifier.

I got my life and my sanity back when I did this.

Re: Question for breastfeeders...what do you do when the baby NEVER comes off the breast?

DD used to do this sometimes when she was a few weeks old. I read a few things that worked for me...

Don't put him to the boob if he's drowsy or ready to nap/sleep, try putting him there wide awake. also try changing his diaper then put him there again. Tickling under DD's chin always got her to suck more.

A lot of times i'd just let her sleep if she fell asleep then try again when she woke up. I know it's hard at night but stick with it, it gets easier.

And I didn't do this one, but I also read that feeding only in a diaper (no clothes) could work and touching them with a wet washcloth/wipe will wake them when they fall asleep and cause them to keep sucking.


Hang in there Jess!!

Re: Question for breastfeeders...what do you do when the baby NEVER comes off the breast?

Have you tried a pacifier?
He probably doesn't need to eat, he just wants to suck.

He will become more efficient as he gets older, I promise!
Then he will be looking all around at everything and you'll be doing everything you can to try to get him to stay on!

Re: Question for breastfeeders...what do you do when the baby NEVER comes off the breast?

Here's an excerpt from kellymom.com (very very helpful site, lots of content for BFing moms on there!) It *may* be comfort nursing or it may be "inefficient transfer" (taking hiim longer to get the milk, which tires him out!).
See what you think, maybe a visit by an LC could help too!
Oh and for your right nip, have you tried a breast shield (temporarily, until that sucker heals!) I used them for a bit and they REALLY REALLY REALLY helped decrease the the ungodly pain I had when DS was roughing me up!!!

Tips for coping with frequent nursing
First of all, do know that frequent nursing is normal and expected in the early months - most newborns need to nurse at least 8 - 12 times per day. Frequent nursing is also needed -- to avoid/reduce engorgement in the early days, to nourish and grow a baby who has a stomach the size of his fist but who needs to double his weight within 5-6 months, to establish a good milk supply for mom, and to help a baby who has been cradled close and warm inside mom for 9 months adjust to life in the outside world. Frequent nursing may sometimes be a warning sign of inefficient milk transfer or low milk supply, but if baby has good diaper output, is gaining well and is generally happy and healthy, then the frequent nursing is unlikely to be a sign of a problem.

Remember that nursing is not just about food - it's also warmth, closeness, reassurance, comfort, healing, love... Nursing has been shown to reduce stress and pain in baby, too. If you're feeling that baby shouldn't be hungry again so soon - remember that it's sometimes Mom that baby needs just as much as the milk.

Fine-tune breastfeeding
If baby seems to be nursing all the time, you first want to make sure that breastfeeding is working well. Problems with latching can result in frequent nursing if baby is not transferring milk efficiently. If baby's latch is shallow, it can be like when you're drinking from a straw and pinch the straw mostly shut - baby is still getting milk but it takes a loooong time at the breast to get enough. Often, even minor changes in latch can help a lot. Here's more on latching. If you feel that breastfeeding is not working as well as it should, do your best to get some local help - evaluating and fixing latch problems over the phone or online is difficult. Using breast massage and breast compression can also be helpful at times for babies who are frequent nursers.

Re: Question for breastfeeders...what do you do when the baby NEVER comes off the breast?

dont worry it gets easier I was the same way. the nights are hard b/c they tend to cluster feed but that stopped for me after a few weeks. when you think he has eaten enough and is just sucking I would do what the other poster said take him off and give him the paci. I would do this with talia at night all the time and she usually didnt notice and would go right to sleep.
My right side was also a nightmare to feed from it took forever to heal. Try to wear loose shirts w/out bras for a while and keep it dry, dont over do it with the creams and just pump from that side.

changing her diaper in the middle of feedings helped me wake her if I needed to usually.
good luck!

Re: Question for breastfeeders...what do you do when the baby NEVER comes off the breast?

I only BF for a month, so I don't have much advice....it was hard as he11 for me so props to you for staying strong. I've heard about them using mom's as pacifiers, so I don't think its uncommon...

And don't get too anxious/upset about this, its not worth it...they take awhile to figure stuff out...even after that 1st month when I fed DD formula w/a bottle, she had to figure out the bottle too....they're so confused! LOL!

And don't worry about not contributing yet....a few months will pass by so fast and you'll be advising new mommies (just as I have although I am still learning a lot too--I love this board!)

Re: Question for breastfeeders...what do you do when the baby NEVER comes off the breast?

My ds was a terrible nurser. He was a lazy, slow eater with a shallow latch. I literally cried the first couple months (I also hap nipple issues so that didn't help matters). He would nurse both sides each time for 45 minutes on each and would eat every 2 hours. So I had a half hour to pee, grab a snack and get back to him. He did get more efficient as time went on. But I always fought with supply. I had to eat oatmeal and drink Gatorade every day.
It was awful at times but got better as time passed. He nursed until 14 months when he self weaned.

I will say the thing that saved my sanity was the soothie pacifier. It is the only one he took. I was anti pacifier until I realized I was a human binkie. So I gave him one.

Good luck You are doing a great job

Re: Question for breastfeeders...what do you do when the baby NEVER comes off the breast?

my son was the same way, LAZY eater and he was not being productive at the breast so I said; "I will pump" and that turned out to stress me out SO bad so he is now on Soy formula

at this age, it is perfectly normal for your son to be really sleepy, I would keep putting his to breast as much as you can but if he is not sucking actively, try to break his latch and switch sides

Re: Question for breastfeeders...what do you do when the baby NEVER comes off the breast?

** This novel just almost got erased. Luckily I saw my slow connection and copied my post.

I remember those days. I very briefly EBF'ed both of my boys until I realized that I might never sleep and become a crazy psychotic lunatic forcing my huband to hate me, so I started exclusively pumping. I remember how stressful it was not knowing if they had nursed long enough or gotten enough.

My advice would be to try to get him to suck as much as you can while he is on the boob. Push his cheek in to start the suck reflex. Tickle his feet blow on his face-switch boobs etc. I know you said you are already doing everything...Maybe because he is not sucking effectively your flow is not enough so he falls asleep. In the beginning they will nurse for 45 minutes at a time because they are so new at it and those muscles are weak. But over a few weeks he will become more and more efficient and you will get down to 5-10 minutes. Good luck

And remember everything that seems so hard now will be a distant memory and you will find new things that are hard so just try and treasure this time where he sleeps a lot. Go out to dinner with your DH. We did this SO much when the babies were little. Right in their infant seats. They slept the whole time. We went to nice places too! Ruth's Chris, French Bistros etc.

Re: Question for breastfeeders...what do you do when the baby NEVER comes off the breast?

I, unfortunately, don't have an answer to your question. My DD has always popped off pretty easily. However, I did want to offer some BFing support. I had a very difficult time for about 6 weeks thanks to oversupply, plugged ducts and mastitis that turned into an abscess that required immediate surgery. It was hell! The whole thing caused me great anxiety and stress. I vowed I was done with BFing. BUT - with the help of a fantastic lactation consultant, some patience, and I admit, A LOT of tears, we got through it. DD is now EBF.

I guess all I want to say is that there is a light at the end of the tunnel! Although my problems are not the same as yours, I fully understand the emotional toll that BFing problems can take on you and your LO.

Are you working with a lactation consultant? That made all the difference for me.

Re: Question for breastfeeders...what do you do when the baby NEVER comes off the breast?

I agree, always make sure you wake him up before he is on your boob, its hard during the night. Also you can squeeze the one he is on to stimulate the milk and that will get him to suck and eat.

Re: Question for breastfeeders...what do you do when the baby NEVER comes off the breast?

mine was a lazy day eater for about the first 3 weeks...leading me to constantly be engorged. I never had a shirt on. Even DH got tired of seeing my boobs

At night, I could not take it anymore, I made the mistake of going out into living room, making believe it was in the middle of the day, watching my dvr'ed little house on the prairie episodes while this kid ate and ate for hours.

I had sanity, but it caused a very bad habit of him thinking and believeing we were up to party. This lasted till 5 mos old.

When it was my left boobs turn, I swear I would break out in a rash. I saw the flames of hell everytime I put him on it. LCs were funny, but I guess helpful. They would tell me to close my eyes and imagine I am pushing the pain down through my body out of my toes.

At 4 weeks, pain went away, at 6 never even realized he was on the bad boob anymore.

Re: Question for breastfeeders...what do you do when the baby NEVER comes off the breast?

Posted by CaMacho

DD used to do this sometimes when she was a few weeks old. I read a few things that worked for me...

Don't put him to the boob if he's drowsy or ready to nap/sleep, try putting him there wide awake. also try changing his diaper then put him there again. Tickling under DD's chin always got her to suck more.

A lot of times i'd just let her sleep if she fell asleep then try again when she woke up. I know it's hard at night but stick with it, it gets easier.

And I didn't do this one, but I also read that feeding only in a diaper (no clothes) could work and touching them with a wet washcloth/wipe will wake them when they fall asleep and cause them to keep sucking.


Hang in there Jess!!

Re: Question for breastfeeders...what do you do when the baby NEVER comes off the breast?

I had the exact same issues when Wilson was born. My milk came in late, so when we left the hospital they were concerned about his weight loss and only let us leave because I promised to go to the PED the next AM.

After visiting our PED I had to supplement him with formula and of course felt like a huge failure as a mother because I couldn't BF my son. I am not abe to pump, for some reason my boobs just won't respond to a mechanical pump

I was desperate to EBF him so would nurse DS forever and then follow up nursing with formula. He would fall asleep at the breast, we would tickle him, get him naked, switch from boob to boob and still as soon as he was latched he was basically out. I would be on the couch for hours, usually around the 1.5 hour mark I'd start getting anxious and feel like I had to stop nursing him our I'd go insane.

I again talked to our PED (at around 6 weeks) and she basically gave me a good slap, reminded me I was not a failure but I had to get this under control for both of us. She told me 20 minutes per side and then offer him formula and no more nursing for 2 hours, he would learn. During the night it was 20 minutes nursing and then formula. I thought he was going to end up refusing the boob, but by 4 months the only bottle he got was before bed and by 6 months he was off that (I'm sure I could have taken it away long before but I was afraid he'd start getting up at night again).

It was very tough in the begining, but once we got through that beginning stage it was wonderful. Really I had to just push through; I wanted to quit just about everyday, but I am really stubborn and was very determined to BF. My mother kept telling me it would get better; I though she was crazy and wouldn't you know by 3 months it was really a breeze.

Re: Question for breastfeeders...what do you do when the baby NEVER comes off the breast?

Rent LOTS of movies and ENJOY!!!

No seriously... having him at the breast all the time is fantastic for your supply....in the begining you are going to feel like all you do is FEED your baby... because its all you are going to do...It wont stay that way....so enjoy instructed others to cook, clean, and do laundry because you are busy "feeding the baby"

As far as banged up nipples.... its normal for the baby to have a favorite breast...however its important you still try and get the baby to latch on his least favorite...

Rub some BM on your nipple after each feed and walk around topless, after about 15 min of "airdrying" put some lanolin cream on them and if you can remain topless for a little bit more..

Between the BM, AIR and CREAM- you should see an improvement by the next day!!!

Re: Question for breastfeeders...what do you do when the baby NEVER comes off the breast?

Have you tried Organic Mother's Milk tea? It helped me with my supply tremendously! You can buy it on Amazon or in GNC. As far as latching on, Michael did great on my right breast as opposed to on my left so I know exactly what you mean. Just continue to put him on your breast, forget about the pumping, give him formula instead, and then in a few hours put him on your breast again. Also, after EACH feeding, rub in that Lansinoh cream on your nips...you'll see and feel the difference.

Message edited 11/6/2009 3:22:04 PM.

Re: Question for breastfeeders...what do you do when the baby NEVER comes off the breast?

I always let Alex pacify on my boob and damn it set up some really bad habits down the road, so when Yael was born, I made a distinct effort only to give her the boob when she was hungry and to take her off as soon as she was done (i.e. sleep sucking with no milk coming out). One of the reasons too is that, because Alex was constantly sucking, it triggered my body to produce TOOOOO much milk - I had a HUGE overproduction, which caused some serious, serious gas issues.

So, anyway, when I KNOW Yael needs to eat, I wake her up - when she was a newborn, I would tickle her back, blow gently in her face, take a wipe and start tickling her neck and feet with it, and change her diaper to wake her up. If she fell asleep on the boob, I would do all those things to wake her up to eat more.

But, once I knew she was done - I would unlatch her. She usually woke up a little, which was fine - I'd put her down to nap, awake, but drowsy, in her bouncy, so that she started to learn early on how to put herself to sleep, instead of always needing a boob to fall asleep or pacify.

If he'll take one, I would also try a paci...

ETA - both my girls also preferred my right side - god knows why. So, yeah, I have a lopsided supply. Even with a phenomenal latch, the first three weeks or so are absolutely BRUTAL. All I can say is just try your best to trudge through it - within a few weeks your nips will become so tough that you'll barely notice when he's latched on

Message edited 11/6/2009 3:33:24 PM.

Re: Question for breastfeeders...what do you do when the baby NEVER comes off the breast?

Have you tried a paci? Some kids just like to suck on things, and they will use you as their paci.

Amelia tends to stay around 20-30 minutes on the first side. I tend to leave her there as long as she is actively sucking.

As for the constant nursing, she does have days when she wants to eat all.the.time. I just let her eat on demand. It stops eventually.

Re: Question for breastfeeders...what do you do when the baby NEVER comes off the breast?

Lots of hugs to you....my dd#1 was great at bfing and i did for 16 mos...then came dd#2 - who always fell asleep too....she wound up having a high palate and eventually we learned she just had no clue how to eat at all....she refused to bf after a while and now i have been stuck pumping for the past 2 mos. I can honestly say it makes me feel bad sometimes, and I blame part of it on me being so anxiety ridden over it....but now that I have let it go, life is better for me, her and my other dd too...she gets bottles of bm and sometimes formula, but she's happy, i am and life is much smoother...lol...well, for the most part! Hang in there and see what works, you are a great mom no matter what works or does not! if you need someone who has been there, feel free to fm me (or I'm on fb too!)

Re: Question for breastfeeders...what do you do when the baby NEVER comes off the breast?

Posted by 05mommy09

Rent LOTS of movies and ENJOY!!!

No seriously... having him at the breast all the time is fantastic for your supply....in the begining you are going to feel like all you do is FEED your baby... because its all you are going to do...It wont stay that way....so enjoy instructed others to cook, clean, and do laundry because you are busy "feeding the baby"

As far as banged up nipples.... its normal for the baby to have a favorite breast...however its important you still try and get the baby to latch on his least favorite...

Rub some BM on your nipple after each feed and walk around topless, after about 15 min of "airdrying" put some lanolin cream on them and if you can remain topless for a little bit more..

Between the BM, AIR and CREAM- you should see an improvement by the next day!!!

Re: Question for breastfeeders...what do you do when the baby NEVER comes off the breast?

Ugh - you are bringing back such bad memories for me! I don't really have much advice but all I can say is that BFing caused me a great amount of anxiety. I felt pressure from no one but myself and it was still awful. My son was not a great nurser either. Although we eventually got the hang of things it was never a wonderful, easy, relaxing thing for me. Sure, we had our tender moments, but overall I wish I had stopped sooner (I nursed until 6 months and had enough supply for him to get BM for a couple more months). Once I stopped I was a much happier and therefore much better mother to my son. You need to keep in mind that the most important thing for you is to be happy and enjoy this very precious time with your baby. Hang in there - everything will get better in just a short amount of time whether you chose to continue to BF or stop!

Re: Question for breastfeeders...what do you do when the baby NEVER comes off the breast?

My DD on my second night in the hospital was crying the whole time she was with me unless she was able to suck. I let her during the visit but asked the nurse when she went back to the nursery and they brought me a pacifier. It helped. I wanted her only to use my breast for meal, and pacifier for soothing and she never had any confusion from it. She also doesn't rely on her pacifier at all, she uses it for a short time and pops it out of her mouth. She's now 11 weeks.

My DD fell asleep at the boob a ton when she was little, it's hard to prevent but we found that undressing her for meals was the most successful way to keep her awake.

Also in the beginning we would change her diaper after she ate off the first breast. And then I would offer her the other side. It woke her up in between.

I was lucky and didn't have much nipple pain, but I did use lanolin in the beginning and I think that helped me avoid it. When I pump now and get a little sore, I still use it when needed.

Good luck!! Its so so so so hard in the beginning but it gets so much better as they get older. Once he gets more efficient and can keep himself awake during meals, it will make it so much easier on you. At 3 weeks I was so sleep deprived and emotionally drained that I wanted to stop, but now at 11 weeks I am so glad I stuck it out.

Re: Question for breastfeeders...what do you do when the baby NEVER comes off the breast?

Re: Question for breastfeeders...what do you do when the baby NEVER comes off the breast?

My milk took a while to come in too, and when it did it is not enough. My dd went from 8lb 4oz to 7lb 7oz the first few days of her life, so I had to add formula too. First night home from the hospital was a nightmare...she was crying and eating every hour. Ped told me to let her do 5-10 min on each side, b/c she would go for a long time on one side and then not at all on the other...they say that doing less time on each side is more efficient, then I give her formula-apparently she was just starving that first night...this works for us so i don't stress the breastfeeding-although I haven't bought a pump yet as I am not sure I am going to keep up with it after I go back to work. I rarely use a paci. I don't love the formula but my dd regained and went above her birthweight within the first 2 weeks. Oh yeah-I also change her diaper in between the BF and formula b/c she will fall asleep and if i let her she will then only sleep for 1 hour instead of 3-4. Blowing on her face helps keep her suckling when she is BF.