| Posted By |
Message |
JChia
Mom of 2 Princesses
Member since 9/07 2540 total posts
Name:
Jen
|
When do you mention you have kids in the interview process?
I want to be up front about having a 2 year old so that there are no surprises after being hired. For example - if she is sick and I need to take off to bring her to the dr etc. I want to make sure the company will be flexible in allowing me to make up the time or ask if that is going to take up one of my vaca days.
Also, having a 2 year old does not allow me to work extended hours in the office, as I need to pick her up by a certain time - I want this to be clear from the get go...
I'd like to be up front, but don't want to scare a company away. How do you handle it?
Message edited 4/15/2010 3:40:01 AM.
|
Posted 4/15/10 3:38 AM  |
| |
|
nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
|
Re: When do you mention you have kids in the interview process?
I'm not even sure how to answer this.
You said you can't work extended hours at the office because you have to pick her up at daycare. When do you plan on making them up?
During the interview (likely the 2nd interview if there was one), I'd ask about the hours. Is there any flexibility? Is it 9am-5pm, etc. I wouldn't make it the main topic of the conversation because frankly any candidate that focuses that much on hours, making up time, talking about using vacation wouldn't be hired.
I do understand. I have 2 kids & had to make changes to my own schedule with my employer. I use my personal time off (vacation/personal) when my kids are sick or make arrangements for a family member to be with them. I feel like while I have kids (and they are my FIRST priority), it should not be relevant to my job.
|
| Posted 4/15/10 10:34 AM |
| |
|
|
|
Re: When do you mention you have kids in the interview process?
my advice...
get the job first (get an offer), THEN try to feel them out re: hours and flexibility. don't bring up family or anything not directly related to the job at hand during the interview process. once they conclude you are right for the job (and extend an offer), then you can figure out if they are the right company for you...
good luck!
|
| Posted 4/15/10 11:34 AM |
| |
|
JChia
Mom of 2 Princesses
Member since 9/07 2540 total posts
Name:
Jen
|
Re: When do you mention you have kids in the interview process?
Posted by nrthshgrl
I'm not even sure how to answer this.
You said you can't work extended hours at the office because you have to pick her up at daycare. When do you plan on making them up?
During the interview (likely the 2nd interview if there was one), I'd ask about the hours. Is there any flexibility? Is it 9am-5pm, etc. I wouldn't make it the main topic of the conversation because frankly any candidate that focuses that much on hours, making up time, talking about using vacation wouldn't be hired.
I do understand. I have 2 kids & had to make changes to my own schedule with my employer. I use my personal time off (vacation/personal) when my kids are sick or make arrangements for a family member to be with them. I feel like while I have kids (and they are my FIRST priority), it should not be relevant to my job.
At my three most previous companies (going back 8 years ) I was able to either log in to my computer at work from home, bring files home with me or work on internet based software - I would make up time working in the evening after she went to bed 2-3 hours a night or even the weekend.
When DD is sick, here is what normally happens - daycare calls - I have to pick her up , call my mom on the way and my mom meets me about 1 hour later or sooner if possible and then I go back to the office - that's about a 2 hour absence which could easily be made up in the evening if need be. This is assuming my mom is not away at the time. (by the way the last time DD had a violent stomach virus - I got my butt to work ONTIME and stayed the whole day (even though DD was crying for me) and they ended up firing me a week later anyway- my heart still breaks about this.)
DH is in NYC, so there isnt any way for him to pick her up. He does have a enough personal time to use to take care of DD when she is sick so its not like I would be taking off ALL the time..
My concern is that I get the job - start it (prob beginning of may ) and then DD has her ear surgery the first week of June - how do I explain that I'll probably need 2.5 days off to care for her within a month of starting the job? (Or any other type of similar scenario)
I am uniquely qualified for this company and we both recognize that. I think it would be a great fit job description wise and I'm truly a hard worker (despite being fired from my last job), but I can't accept a job that is not going to work out in the long run...and given the stomach virus scenario you can see that I don't just take a day off every time DD is sick but I don't want to not be there for my Daughter and not be appreciated for it either.
And I don't think its fair for me to not mention something to them before I start. Honestly if they are expecting someone in the office from 8 - 8 - I'd rather them not offer in the first place, they will be dissappointed. I went to an interview once and it was clear that this is what they expected, it is just not possible. I don't want an offer just to have an offer - I want a good fit! (learned my lesson from my last job)
Sorry this is so long
|
| Posted 4/15/10 12:17 PM |
| |
|
Kelly9904
Mommy to 2 amazing little boys
Member since 5/05 9306 total posts
Name:
Kelly
|
Re: When do you mention you have kids in the interview process?
!
Message edited 5/14/2010 3:25:22 PM.
|
| Posted 4/15/10 3:10 PM |
| |
|
zaidam
*************
Member since 1/07 1519 total posts
Name:
|
Re: When do you mention you have kids in the interview process?
Legally, an employer is not allowed to directly ask you if you have kids, husband, wife. They can however ask if there are any restrictions to you working beyond the 9-5 (or whatever business hours are determined to be). At that point you could say that you may need some flexibility and feel out the situation at that point to go into further detail.
|
| Posted 4/15/10 3:52 PM |
| |
|
Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
|
Re: When do you mention you have kids in the interview process?
I would ask general questions about the hours of the job. Ask about the work life balance culture at the office. That should tell you something about what they expect and you should know if it's a fit.
You absolutely should tell them upon your offer than your DD is having surgery and it's their choice to start you on May xx or wait until after she's had it.
Honestly, the rest will work itself out. I don't think you will need to go into detail about how you need to pick your daughter up if she's sick..etc..
For the first few months ask your DH to make arrangements with his job to have some flexibility until you are trained and up to speed if something comes up.
Good luck.
|
| Posted 4/15/10 11:13 PM |
| |
|
DML
LIF Adolescent
Member since 5/05 567 total posts
Name:
|
Re: When do you mention you have kids in the interview process?
I wouldn't mention kids at all. Just try and get a feel for what a normal day is like in this position. I just started a new job, and they didn't know i had kids until the first day. As for the ear surgery - can you get the surgery done on a Friday, then you would have the weekend for her to recover? If not, when you got the offier, I would mention it to them that you had this scheduled, and need the time off - unpaid.
|
| Posted 4/16/10 12:59 PM |
| |
|
mommy2bella
Where does time go?
Member since 12/05 9747 total posts
Name:
Kelly
|
Re: When do you mention you have kids in the interview process?
My last two jobs they had NO idea I had kids until something related came up. My field is EXTREMELY competitive...so I actually even take my wedding rings off when I interview...
It's NOBODY'S business how many kids I have...
ETA: It's difficult...but I still would not get into this before the offer. I agree with the previous posters on this...ask about the work/life balance...
Message edited 4/16/2010 3:36:57 PM.
|
| Posted 4/16/10 3:29 PM |
| |
|
Tine73
Member since 3/06 22093 total posts
Name:
*********
|
Re: When do you mention you have kids in the interview process?
Posted by doublestroller
my advice...
get the job first (get an offer), THEN try to feel them out re: hours and flexibility. don't bring up family or anything not directly related to the job at hand during the interview process. once they conclude you are right for the job (and extend an offer), then you can figure out if they are the right company for you...
good luck!
I agree - you can work out the details when you have the offer. You are still being up front about it while not letting your "situation" be a part of their decision making process. 
|
| Posted 4/18/10 12:56 AM |
| |
|
DRMom
Two in Blue
Member since 5/05 20223 total posts
Name:
Melissa
|
Re: When do you mention you have kids in the interview process?
First I think you are exactly right to feel the way you do. I would think if they were expecting people to work past "normal" hours it would be something they would mention during interview so I would wait for that. Like other said-you could ask about work life balance.
|
| Posted 4/19/10 9:22 AM |
| |
|
JChia
Mom of 2 Princesses
Member since 9/07 2540 total posts
Name:
Jen
|
Re: When do you mention you have kids in the interview process?
Thanks everyone! I think you are all right! I just feel a little dishonest about it. I'll try to keep my mouth closed (and DD's surgery was moved to next week, so at least that won't be an issue!)
|
| Posted 4/19/10 9:10 PM |
| |
|
ILJ619
LIF Adult
Member since 6/06 1985 total posts
Name:
Irene
|
Re: When do you mention you have kids in the interview process?
You are not being dishonest. Unfortunately when they are weighing candidates you want as few "concerns" to the prospective employer as possible. I agree I would not say anything until either the 2nd interview, but ideally until they make you an offer. I would think you can ask the recruiter as well instead of the hiring manager. ets Also when you are interviewing see if there are any pictures of kids on ppls desk etc that usually gives a good indication of the culture/balance 
Message edited 4/21/2010 2:23:40 PM.
|
| Posted 4/21/10 2:22 PM |
| |
|
