I just feel so angry.

I'm angry @ my Dr. for making me come back to his office 4x already so I can sit in a waiting area with pregnant women & others who have newborns in carriers.

I'm angry that I saw a pregnant teenager smoking today.

I'm angry that I have a pile of pre-natal vitamins in my fridge & I don't have the strength to throw them out.

I'm angry @ DH for pretending to be strong. I wish he would cry in front of me already & stop faking a sinus infection.

I'm angry that i'll never be excited for a + preg test again. After all, just because you can "get pregnant" doesn't mean you'll have a baby.

At least I have stopped crying.

Re: I just feel so angry.

God I feel every single thing you just said. Its like you spoke for me.

Re: I just feel so angry.

I know what ur going through...but I will tell you...you deffinately WILL get excited to see a + again...you'll still worry a bit...but u will...It's only been a month and a half for me...but I have learned to accept that for WHATEVER reason it may be...that baby was not meant to be mine at that very time.

for whatever reason...god took my baby...and I have to trust...that god knows better than I...and that he MUST have had a good reason for taking it so soon. Maybe we just would have lost it later in the pregnancy...maybe he spared us further pain...maybe he foresaw a serious defect that he felt we would not be able to handle...we will never know WHY...but all we can do is look to the future and look forward to the possibilities of the future.

I feel this experience taught me patience...because I had to learn the hard way that I do not control my fate...no matter how hard I try. I had to accept that while this life is mine...things are going to happen to me that I cannot avoid...and so instead of getting angry or wondering what I could have done to avoid them (because there is NOTHING we could have done to avoid it)...I just have to realize that I could either let this experience take something from me without me taking anything back from it...OR...I could try and take whatever I can take from it...and if all I can walk away with is a life lesson...then hell...I'll take it...because what the hell else have I got?

Re: I just feel so angry.

Yep and you know what thats totally normal- be angry its good for you.
It will go away eventually I know you dont want to hear that b/c I was in the same situation as you.

Stay Strong...

Re: I just feel so angry.

I think you will find you will go through a TON of emotions through this entire journey.
It does change you, but you will get to feeling better soon. I promise.
The anger just doesn't go away though. I remember coming up on my EDD and I wasn't pregnant again yet and I LOST it. and before that the 5 month marker when I would've found out the sex...it was all so hard.

But this is how I look at it. Someday you will hold another baby in your arms that you know was destined to be yours...and all of this crap will be like a bad dream...In the scheme of our long life this will be a short little bump. And we will all have our little miracles.

Re: I just feel so angry.

I'm sorry hun!!



It does suck & it's unfair!! It is very normal to go through all different emotions, there was a point I was just mad at the world and MAD "that why me".

Just realize you will get excited again one day. It takes some time to heal but once you do TTC again you will find HOPE again! Geting that positive Pregnancy test, will not probably ever be the same. Unfortunately, miscarriages to rob the excitement of your next pregnancy. It will happen, then You will understand why this journery had a bump in the road. You will never forget the loss, but one day you will have a Baby in your arms.

As for DH, I think it's hard for them to express themselves. They try to be strong for us!

Lot's of HUGS for you!

Message edited 4/23/2010 10:05:14 AM.

Re: I just feel so angry.

You have every right to feel every emotion that you do...Anger, sadness, anything and everything...you can feel however you want and it's completely okay. None of this makes sense, and it's completely unfair.

I've gone through such strong feelings of anger, for many of the reasons you mentioned...I see teenagers with kids who clearly don't want them, and it's like a stab in the heart...Seeing pregnant women on the street was horrible at first...Now though, 5 months later, I'm okay with it. I'll be honest, sometimes I still don't love it, and it brings a little sense of pain to me, but, I don't have the strong feelings of anger that I did...Give yourself time....and don't beat yourself up over anything

Re: I just feel so angry.

Re: I just feel so angry.

Re: I just feel so angry.

I feel exactly as you do. you are not alone.