Why am I upset?

So I work in events for those of you who don't know. A few months ago I was in Brooklyn with a prospective client and we were walking uphill and I was feeling very hot and she actually said I looked pale and asked if I was ok and I made the mistake of telling her I was preggo. Although she seemed happy with me, I never heard from here, but often clients don't book me until their event date gets closer so I really never paid it any mind. Two weeks ago she recommended me to friends of hers who were looking for someone and I met with them and they seemed to really want to book me. This morning I got a call from one of them and he said he was very concerned about me working out in the hot August sun, moving things around, etc. I told him it's ok and he said that this other client told him she'd be concerned because I'm pregnant. It was just kind of an awkward moment but I assured him that I am not, nor will I be ttc before their event.

Why am I upset?

People know I've had losses and it's never upset me but I guess I just feel...idk. I'm sitting here thinking about the conversation and I'm not sure why I'm all choked up.

Re: Why am I upset?

I think it's totally normal. It makes you think of your pregnancy and how far along you would be at this time. I feel like this sometimes and I just cry thinking I should have a big belly and a beautiful growing baby but instead I'm scheduling appts for more and more bloodwork and sonos to get some answers.

Before my 2nd m/c, I made the mistake of telling the mother of one of my students that I was pregnant bc she was a few weeks ahead of me and I was curious how she was feeling. A week later I miscarried. My nursery kids already graduated so I havent seen her around much but whenever I go into work and bump into her I cringe bc I'm afraid she might ask about my pregnancy. I felt bad mentioning I miscarried bc she is only a few weeks more preggers than I was...don't want to freak her out.

Hang in there!

Re: Why am I upset?

Thanks. It's weird I've been completely fine even on mother's day when people were congratulating me and I had to tell them, I was fine. I don't know why today hit close to home but I didn't even tell DH because I don't understand why DH struck a nerve.