Does your DH get you child's special needs?

This is probably going to be more than a vent but my DH totally doesn't get that DD has SPD. He thinks everything is normal for her age. Well it's NOT!
For example she has refused to go to camps I put her in for the summer. We were going to try a different one today. She wouldn't even get dressed to go. She wasn't having a tantrum, she was just crying that she didn't want to go. She didn't want to try camp. It was too many kids, too noisy, etc. DH's answer. Feed her. Then make her get dressed and go, she'll like it. Really? Really? ***! I told him to come home from work and do it if he thought that was the right thing to do.

I get that everyone wants to have the perfect child and it's not easy to face the fact that your kid has issues that need help but to turn a blind eye is only going to be a disservice to her. I just feel like I'm battling this alone a lot. DH has some major sensory issues which he doesn't think is a problem. He says he turned out fine. Well yeah for the most part he did but he's pretty anti social and introverted. He wears shorts all year round and no socks b/c he can't stand the feel. We sleep on flannel. I can't burn candles, wear perfume, etc w/o him complaining how strong the smell is. So our DD has a lot of these issues and then some. It's our job to help her cope with these so she can grow up feeling normal. Why is it so hard for him to accept that?

Re: Does your DH get you child's special needs?

I think DH is more "relaxed" than I am on the whole thing.

Your DH has sensory issues, he may not see it as an issue since he lives it everyday. He has learned to work around it.

Re: Does your DH get you child's special needs?

I had the exact same issues with Ava. She will be 6 on Friday.

I agree that you need to get help for her SPD, but I would also suggest that you do still "push" her to go to camp and other activities. I speak from experience, and can now say, that I am glad that I pushed Ava into situations.

She just finished kindergarten, and I see a huge change in her. I don't think that her SPD went away, I think that the more situations that you put them in, and the older they get, the more they want to fit in. So, they find ways to cope. Ava still hates loud places, certain textures, many fods.... the list goes on....Basically, what I am trying to say, is don't keep her out of things because of her disability, put her in more things in spite of it. Will it always work out??? Absolutely not. There have been countless times that I have left some where in tears, thinking "Why can't she just be normal? Any other kid would have enjoyed that. I have been cheated of the normal little girl that I have always wanted" But, then I get over it and keep on going.

I am rambling... probably because I know what a hard time I have had with her, and never had anyone around who truly understood. Back to your original question, no, my DH never truly understood.

He has never really been around other kids before we had DD. He thought that she was "normal" as difficult as she was, and that it was suppossed to be soo hard.

Hang in there! FM if you ever need to talk

Re: Does your DH get you child's special needs?

I've definitely pushed her to go. I made her, or more like kind of tricked her into trying a different camp last week and finally after two times of her hating it and trying a 3rd time and her being in tears I just gave up.
She's going to art camp next week. She knows the teacher and it's inside out of the heat and she asked to go. I won't let her out of that one.
She does gymnastics and has done dance. She did a dance camp last month. So we do try to keep her doing different things. I think summer and not being in school is very, very hard for her.
I appreciate your advice and it's comforting to hear that your DD has improved. We've regressed so much the past 6 weeks I'm feeling overwhelmed.