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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Ughhhh...what to do when a child takes things...
Again, my daughter.
It is getting worse the "stealing" of things (at home).
She has gone into my makeup bag, used my lip gloss over and over even after telling her not too. She has taken my hair cream and basically used a couple months worth in a couple of days. She had 13 peices of gum in one day. 6 granola bars in one day. A sleeve of cookies.
I don't know what to do anymore as I don't think it is fair for the rest of the family to be deprived from some goodies but what do I do, lock the food up? Lock my makeup up? Lock up other things that she continually uses when told not to?
This is sooo out of my element and I have no clue what to do.
Punishment is not working, obviously.
Ughhh!!
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Posted 8/18/10 7:57 PM  |
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Elizabeth
Mom of Three
Member since 9/05 7900 total posts
Name:
"MOMMY!!!"
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Re: Ughhhh...what to do when a child takes things...
FM
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| Posted 8/18/10 9:42 PM |
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BellaDanzy
LIF Infant
Member since 10/09 61 total posts
Name:
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Re: Ughhhh...what to do when a child takes things...
How old is your daughter? My daughter is 8 yrs old and we are going through something similar. She isn't stealing from me ( I think she is too scared to even try that) - but she has been stealing gum out of her grandmother's and aunt's purses. And I was so hurt and appalled when we discovered what she was doing. How do you steal from the ppl that love you and care for you? I don't get it.
When we caught her - emptied her entire room. No tv, no toys, not even a poster on the wall. She had her bed and dresser - that's it. We even made her donate and/or throw away some of her toys. She was on TOTAL punishment. No tv, no playing with friends after-school, no special treats, etc. It was VERY hard to stick with and some ppl in my family thought it was a bit extreme. But my husband and I felt that we had to make a point. This punishment lasted four VERY LONG months - and as hard as it was to do - it worked. We didn't have any more issues with her and stealing.
She has been off of punishment for two months now - and it was brought to my attention about a week ago that she has started stealing AGAIN!!
So we are back at square one. I am sure this is not very helpful - but I figured you might find some comfort knowing that you aren't the only going through this.
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| Posted 8/18/10 10:09 PM |
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LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19458 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: Ughhhh...what to do when a child takes things...
Does she have any of her own make up? I am not saying to reward her, but to explain that there are things that are not for sharing. I would get her a lip gloss but say yours are off limits. That if she wants to be trusted and get other goodies that she needs to prove herself by not taking your things. As for food, I am a little confused. Does she just take the sleeve of cookies to her room and leave them? Perhaps a no food in bedroom policy would solve this. Are you concerned that she is eating to many sweets at once? Perhaps make sure to have other things in the house like fruit?
ETS: I think if you took her to the make up counter or even cvs and said this is how to look age appropriate it would go a long way to help her. By just saying no, I think you are not helping her. I think you need to talk to her and explain why you think she is to young for x and ask her why she thinks she is old enough. As for hair creme, I would show her what and how much one uses. She seems like she is screaming out that she wants to be a grown up. I would tell her if you do xyz chores you can get lip gloss, hair creme etc.
For food, make sure to have snacks for her after school in an appropriate amount. I would talk to her about food portions and consequences of eating too much.
Message edited 8/18/2010 11:53:26 PM.
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| Posted 8/18/10 11:48 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Ughhhh...what to do when a child takes things...
When one of my kids first stole something (from a store), I made them give up their favorite toy. I mean give it AWAY.
They know the consequences for stealing are harsh if they're caught & I *think* it's working because I haven't seen it happen again in years.
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| Posted 8/19/10 1:49 PM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: Ughhhh...what to do when a child takes things...
Posted by BellaDanzy
How old is your daughter? My daughter is 8 yrs old and we are going through something similar. She isn't stealing from me ( I think she is too scared to even try that) - but she has been stealing gum out of her grandmother's and aunt's purses. And I was so hurt and appalled when we discovered what she was doing. How do you steal from the ppl that love you and care for you? I don't get it.
When we caught her - emptied her entire room. No tv, no toys, not even a poster on the wall. She had her bed and dresser - that's it. We even made her donate and/or throw away some of her toys. She was on TOTAL punishment. No tv, no playing with friends after-school, no special treats, etc. It was VERY hard to stick with and some ppl in my family thought it was a bit extreme. But my husband and I felt that we had to make a point. This punishment lasted four VERY LONG months - and as hard as it was to do - it worked. We didn't have any more issues with her and stealing.
She has been off of punishment for two months now - and it was brought to my attention about a week ago that she has started stealing AGAIN!!
So we are back at square one. I am sure this is not very helpful - but I figured you might find some comfort knowing that you aren't the only going through this.
Almost 12
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| Posted 8/19/10 1:52 PM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: Ughhhh...what to do when a child takes things...
Posted by LSP2005
Does she have any of her own make up? I am not saying to reward her, but to explain that there are things that are not for sharing. I would get her a lip gloss but say yours are off limits. That if she wants to be trusted and get other goodies that she needs to prove herself by not taking your things. As for food, I am a little confused. Does she just take the sleeve of cookies to her room and leave them? Perhaps a no food in bedroom policy would solve this. Are you concerned that she is eating to many sweets at once? Perhaps make sure to have other things in the house like fruit?
ETS: I think if you took her to the make up counter or even cvs and said this is how to look age appropriate it would go a long way to help her. By just saying no, I think you are not helping her. I think you need to talk to her and explain why you think she is to young for x and ask her why she thinks she is old enough. As for hair creme, I would show her what and how much one uses. She seems like she is screaming out that she wants to be a grown up. I would tell her if you do xyz chores you can get lip gloss, hair creme etc.
For food, make sure to have snacks for her after school in an appropriate amount. I would talk to her about food portions and consequences of eating too much.
She is very impulsive as she has ADHD. Everything is used in excess and you can tell her 5,000 times the same thing and she continues to do it.
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| Posted 8/19/10 1:54 PM |
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LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19458 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: Ughhhh...what to do when a child takes things...
Oh, I am sorry, I did not realize that she has ADHD. Humm. Do you have a babysitter for her?
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| Posted 8/19/10 8:38 PM |
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