Anyone else have this issue?

Lately whenever Damien is in trouble he will lash out and say he wants a new family.

It doesn't happen all the time and I always talk to him about how his words hurt myself and DH and how even when we are angry with him we never want a different son. I know he doesn't understand the severity of his words but it still hurts when he says it.

So I was just wondering if this is "normal" for his age. He will be 7 in September. TIA

Re: Anyone else have this issue?

Normal. I haven't gotten that one yet - but I remember thinking my "real" mom was picking me up any day.

I think you should say he's stuck with you, may as well get along bc it's not an option.

Re: Anyone else have this issue?

My son always wants a new mommy when he is in trouble or a new family (esp when his younger brother is bugging him). I mostly ignore it or talk to him about it but he does it. He is 5.5yrs. He has been in trouble a lot lately so I hear it all the time lately so I am getting immune. I do tell him there is always the bab boys home I can call to pick him up - there are no mommies or daddies there and then he usually cries and tells me no he was just joking. I just guess they are upset and not sure how else to articulate they are upset/mad.

Re: Anyone else have this issue?

My DD (also 7) has been saying things like that but mostly "I hate you" "you're the worst mommy in the world" for a while now. In fact, she says it daily, and I found that time-outs and other punishments didn't work to make her stop. She almost always aplogizes after the fact and I know she has empathy and feels bad after she says these things. And will eventually say the exact opposite of how much she loves me. I go back and forth between ignoring it and just reminding her to use other words, say specifically what it is that she didn't like that I said no to, find other ways to express her frustration.

Re: Anyone else have this issue?

We lived with my parents when Nick was little, and for YEARS after, whenever he was mad at us he would say, "I want to live at Nanny and Pop's again!" I would tell him in a very calm voice that he hurt my feelings and I really hoped he didn't feel that way. Then I would completely disengage from him... leave the room, turn around, whatever.

It's pretty normal to think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, whether you're 4 or 34 or 104, I think.

Re: Anyone else have this issue?

Thanks everyone it makes me feel a lot better

Re: Anyone else have this issue?

Re: Anyone else have this issue?

Hayy- I thought I was the worst Mommy in the world - at least according to DS. I think its a 7ish thing.

When I get "You're Mean" or "You're the worst Mommy in the World". I tell him thats, right thats my job and I still love you anyway.

Re: Anyone else have this issue?

My DD told me she wished I would go to heaven the other day I went in my room and cried. She was just so frustrated and angry and couldn't do anything else. Its hard, really hard. I feel for you.

Re: Anyone else have this issue?

When I was younger, my nephew would tell my sister "I wish Cyndi Lauper was my mom! She just wants to have fun!"

The kids don't really lash out at ME - but now that Rob is a SAHD and does the majority of the punishing.. he also gets the brunt of their frustration. I came home a few weeks ago and Noah told me I needed to divorce Rob!! He figured if we divorced then Rob wouldn't have the right to punish them anymore!!

I also hear a lot of "NORMAL FAMILIES DON'T DO <insert perceived crime here>!" That comes out when I get home late and don't serve dinner until 7:30 or when I tell them they can't play video games that are rated M or when I won't let them ride their bikes in the street without me out there, etc..

Don't feel bad.. I think they all get cheesed off and secretly wish they had fabulously wealthy and indulgent parents from time to time!

Re: Anyone else have this issue?

I havent had this happen in anger although one time after T had a playdate with a friend with a huge luxurious house, she told me on the way home she wanted to go live with them. She even discussed how we could make the transfer of her belongings.

But I do think what Damien is saying is a normal outlet for some anger for a 7 year old (I can't believe he's almost 7!!!?!) I will add that I think a child has to be quite safe with their feelings and their surroundings to say that. They certainly wouldn't say it if they were insecure in anyway, KWIM? If he knows it hurts your feelings and he is angry, he could say it to try to hurt you. Again, I think it's normal and beyond the discussion (which I wouldn't have while you feel hurt or he's still angry) I think it will pass. I try to tell mine with various things they do that the next person they hurt (or talk rudely to, etc) might not be as understanding or forgiving as Mommy & Daddy. Of course next time you could offer to pack his belongings, pretend to make a call to the adoption agency and start to put his stuff in the car.... or is that just parents from my parents generation that would do that??

Re: Anyone else have this issue?

Of course next time you could offer to pack his belongings, pretend to make a call to the adoption agency and start to put his stuff in the car.... or is that just parents from my parents generation that would do that??