WWYD? first time posting here...

so miserable being here at work. when i am home i am fine b.c i have my wonderful beautiful dd to keep me happy and distracted.

i am just so miserable here at work. i think part of the reason is b.c of the way my supervisor handled the situation.

i had gone to the dr's office during my lunch break for bloodwork and a follow up sonogram and thats when i found out the baby stopped growing and there was no heartbeat
i walked into one of my supervisor's office so that i could leave early and just broke down into the ugly cry. no one knew i was pregnant b.c it was still early.

i told her what happened and though she was trying to comfort me, she asked if this pregnancy was planned. then somewhere in the conversation she proceeded to telll me that maybe this wasn't financially the right time to have a baby.
it didnt occur to me then b.c i was at the lowest of my low, but once i was home i was very angry about certain things she said!!
pardon the expression, i could just kick her in box right now. i am so P!$$ed.
should i confront her or just let it go?
maybe she didnt know what to say and got flustered.

Re: WWYD? first time posting here...

I think ppl have no clue how to handle things, and maybe she was caught off guard and maybe she's just an idiot..but I wouldnt' talk to her about it...bc she'll probably get defensive and say something stupid again..and you're still raw about it and it could just get ugly!!!

Re: WWYD? first time posting here...

I'm very sorry for your loss!

Unless your supervisor usually has such a callous attitude, I'd just let it go.

Some people just really don't know what to say to somebody after a miscarriage and say the wrong thing. Even though it was a stupid thing to say, it may have just come out because she didn't know what to say and it was an awkward moment.

I have had 2 miscarriages back to back. Even with those experiences, I still am not sure what to say to people close to me when they miscarry except I'm sorry.

Re: WWYD? first time posting here...

Me personally, I would let it go. LOADS of people will say the wrong things to you during this sensitive time. Friends, family members, co-workers; heck, even strangers on the street.

it's only worth it to correct those you will be around a lot and are CONSTANTLY saying these wrong comments to you.

In this case... she was trying to comfort you in the best way she could. Even if the end result was rude and a bit off topic. People don't understand that "it's god's way" and "what's meant to be will be" and "it will all work out in the end" or "you wouldn't have wanted that baby anyway, there was prob something wrong with it" or "its natures way of getting rid of something that wasn't right" or "it wasn't the right time for you so you are better off"... ALL those types of comments are They THINK they are comforting you, but really it's annoying and NOT at all how you feel about the situation you are in. They just don't know what to say. And if you go around correcting everyone who says these types of things, it would be never ending. You have to draw the line somewhere.

I say, in this situation... just let it go. Focus on you. The real problem is that you are upset for what you have physically and emotionally gone through. Focus on healing you and not correcting everyone on the stupid things they might say in an effort to comfort you.

Re: WWYD? first time posting here...

PS - I was MISERABLE at work too. Actually I couldn't even come into work without breaking down... I had to take some time off.
For me... work reminded me SO MUCH of my loss. I somehow tied both together mentally. I think it's because I was so fed up with my job... and being pregnant was almost like a light at the end of the tunnel. When I miscarried at 11 weeks, that light went out and I started feeling trapped and like I was suffocating.

Re: WWYD? first time posting here...

So sorry for your loss. I agree with what everyone else has said about people just not knowing what to do. Take all the time you need from work. You need to go through your emotions and do what is best for you. It will get better.

Re: WWYD? first time posting here...

thank you all!!! you gave very sound advice!!!!