Does anyone handle their kids better when DH is not around?

My Dh and I agree about most things parenting wise. Of course we have our differences but we agreed early on that we would not undermine each other when it comes to parenting them and "unite against them" (my words before we even had kids, which we still laugh about) so overall I think we parent pretty good as a couple. But DH recently said to me that he thinks I am usually in better spirits when he is not here and seem less stressed. I think he is right although you'd think it would be easier when 2 parents are present. I don't even know why this would be true except if he is not doing what I think he should be doing and it makes me irritated at him and it comes off as stressed with the kids? Yikes, I feel awful if that is true. I can't think of anything else. Thoughts? Anyone else feel like that?

Re: Does anyone handle their kids better when DH is not around?

I think I am. When he's around our usual routine for things - like getting ready for bed - gets all messed up and more often that not one or both are overtired and cranky. Then I get annoyed and am more likely to snap at him. I feel like if he would just listen to me and keep to the usual system it would go a lot easier, he tells me to lighten up. Vicious cycle. We aren't fighting in front of the kids or anything, but I do feel more stressed on nights where he's here for bedtime.

Re: Does anyone handle their kids better when DH is not around?

Actually - I think I'm pretty even regardless of whether he is there or not.. BUT I think he's probably better without me. He's a SAHD these days and he's got them in a good routine and they all work well together. When I'm home he just kind of defers to me and lets me hold the reigns. It's like he goes from being the primary parent to being one of the boys.

Re: Does anyone handle their kids better when DH is not around?

DS definitely behaves better...DH thinks it's because he's not conflicted about who he needs to pay attention to and he doesn't need to show favoritism. Because of this, when we are alone, I am more relaxed and we have a better time. It is rare for him to have a meltdown with me.

Re: Does anyone handle their kids better when DH is not around?

*raises hand*

They spend the majority of their time with me because of DH's work schedule. When he is home it is a free for all sometimes

Re: Does anyone handle their kids better when DH is not around?

I do. I have a system and a schedule and it works. On the rare night that DH is home (and yes, it's one night a week that he is home when the kids go to bed), he let's everything slide and it annoys me! The kids try to play into daddy all the time and I hate it.

Re: Does anyone handle their kids better when DH is not around?

Posted by Stacey1403

*raises hand*

They spend the majority of their time with me because of DH's work schedule. When he is home it is a free for all sometimes

Re: Does anyone handle their kids better when DH is not around?

yes, yes and yes! DH travels a bit so I am forced to be in a stirct routine when he is OOT. When he gets back it's all chaotic again in the house and makes all miserable. I hate he is gone so much but when he is, it's better. KWIM