| Posted By |
Message |
| Pages: 1 [2] 3 |
LittleBlueBug
Happy Mommy
Member since 9/06 4074 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Family v Quality of Life
I come from a different perspective. I moved amd came back because I missed my family. We now struggle to make it here, where in NC we wew able to survive on one salary. The result? It has put un needed stress on,my marriage and we both work so much we barely get to see the friends and family we moved back for. I regret moving back, as does dh. As much as I adore my parents, sister, bil, neices, and friends, we have our own family to worry about. You can always make friends and visit old friends and family. Its hard at first, the home sickness is tough. If I had lived on my own in NY before moving to NC, I think the outcome would have been different because I woild have seen first hand what surviving here was all about. Living to pay bills will only cause you stress and bring you to an early grave imo. What kind of quality of life is that??
|
Posted 1/27/11 2:36 PM  |
| |
|
Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
|
Re: Family v Quality of Life
hmm...when I say family I am thinking of me, dh, and ds.
*I* could pick up and go anywhere as long as they were with me. I think my dh would rather stay closer to his family b/c he has so little of it in this country as it is.
and thinking about my son, if we are one and done, I do want to maintain a closeness with our nieces and godchildren...but if our every day lives would be so much more improved, I could do it and be happy.
|
| Posted 1/27/11 2:40 PM |
| |
|
GinaR
LIF Adult
Member since 9/08 1976 total posts
Name:
Gina
|
Re: Family v Quality of Life
I think it is important to provide family with excellent quality of life, so I think they go hand in hand.
|
| Posted 1/27/11 2:40 PM |
| |
|
Jenn627
Laaaaaaaambert!
Member since 5/08 9818 total posts
Name:
Jenn
|
Re: Family v Quality of Life
Posted by MrsSchwags
I am talking about in general with moving. I know this gets talked about a lot here.
But would you rather have your family close by and struggle to survive in an area, or live further away where you are comfortable but have no family near by.
Would you move in with your inlaws/parents if that meant staying near them?
or
Would you rather move elsewhere, find a stable job and live in a nice rental, house, etc?
Based on this - I choose quality of life.
|
| Posted 1/27/11 3:01 PM |
| |
|
maybebaby
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 6870 total posts
Name:
Maureen
|
Re: Family v Quality of Life
I think i have the perfect balance. My family is 3.5 hours away. And i see them CONSTANTLY. Enough to be happy and feel like we get quality time...I seriously see my family more than most people who prob live this far.
The most important family to me however is the little family DH and I have right here..
It's easy to say that it would be great if i lived in NY in the same town as my mom. But i don't. And I never will. We can't afford a home there, DH's job isn't there and I could not be a SAHM if i lived there...which is way more important to me than to be in NY. If I had to live in another country to at home with my children I would. I would miss my mom and siblings, but my kids come first.
So it's a lot of give and take. I think my situation is perfect therefore I have a very happy life. For others, they couldn't be too far from their families and for some being in another country is perfectly fine and they are happy.
Hope this makes sense.
|
| Posted 1/27/11 3:53 PM |
| |
|
Jax430
Hi!
Member since 5/05 18919 total posts
Name:
Jackie
|
Re: Family v Quality of Life
Family. I personally would not consider my life to be high-quality if I did not have family nearby.
|
| Posted 1/27/11 3:57 PM |
| |
|
Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
|
Re: Family v Quality of Life
my quality of life meant staying at home and being with my kids.
caring for dh, being a wife.
I don't care where that went down, but for me, I was not going to work.
DH-wanted shorter commute and own a home.
this meant leaving.
my marriage is #1. I have to put everything into that.
it has absolutely nothing to do with my parents, siblings, cousins....i vowed to him, he vowed to me. i live to make him happy, he lives to make me happy.
if my parents, and they do...have a problem with that, then i hope one day they see i did the only thing that could be done.
|
| Posted 1/27/11 4:48 PM |
| |
|
maybeamommy
Blessed beyond belief
Member since 10/07 17048 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Family v Quality of Life
Posted by LittleBlueBug
I come from a different perspective. I moved amd came back because I missed my family. We now struggle to make it here, where in NC we wew able to survive on one salary. The result? It has put un needed stress on,my marriage and we both work so much we barely get to see the friends and family we moved back for. I regret moving back, as does dh. As much as I adore my parents, sister, bil, neices, and friends, we have our own family to worry about. You can always make friends and visit old friends and family. Its hard at first, the home sickness is tough. If I had lived on my own in NY before moving to NC, I think the outcome would have been different because I woild have seen first hand what surviving here was all about. Living to pay bills will only cause you stress and bring you to an early grave imo. What kind of quality of life is that??
I completely agree with this - except sub San Diego for NC.
There, we made it on my salary and were even able to save money - DH stayed at home with the baby.
First and foremost, our family is a family of 4 (me, Dh, baby & dog). We come first. THEN our extended family.
We are seriously considering moving back. As much as we love our family, it seems as though they are ALL we have here and honestly, it's not enough to keep us happy. We love getting together with everyone, celebrating holidays and birthdays, Sunday dinners, etc. but that's not enough to plan a life around IMO.
|
| Posted 1/27/11 4:54 PM |
| |
|
GinaR
LIF Adult
Member since 9/08 1976 total posts
Name:
Gina
|
Re: Family v Quality of Life
Posted by MrsSchwags
I am talking about in general with moving. I know this gets talked about a lot here.
But would you rather have your family close by and struggle to survive in an area, or live further away where you are comfortable but have no family near by.
Would you move in with your inlaws/parents if that meant staying near them?
or
Would you rather move elsewhere, find a stable job and live in a nice rental, house, etc?
In this case I'd MUCH rather move away and live somewhere where we can give our kids a nice home and good childhood. It's not fair for family to expect us to stay and work our bums off to pay for tiny housing and barely pay bills- they could always move too! :) Plus, for me, I didn't grow up in ny. DH ahs his family all here though. But we decdied we will ahve to move if we want kids. It will be too hard and expense for both of us to work and have to find a place to put the kids while we work and afford it. If we are going to have kids, I want to be able to spend a lot of time with them and not ahve to work 50 hours a week!
Message edited 1/27/2011 5:14:43 PM.
|
| Posted 1/27/11 5:08 PM |
| |
|
Annie91606
Brotherly love
Member since 12/07 1816 total posts
Name:
Anne
|
Re: Family v Quality of Life
Well, now that I have a family of my own, their happiness, safety and comfort come first.
So, my DH and I decided to move when his company was relocated to VA two years ago.
Did that hurt our families- meaning his sister, his parents, and mine? Yes, they miss us. (though they all lived an hour away from us anyway). We also left some cousins and other good friends behind.
The quality of our life has improved dramatically since we moved here. I am able to stay home with both of my children and be there for them all day (as opposed to when I worked FT and was out of the house 5 days a week from 7:30-6:30). DH's commute is less than half of what it was up North.
Not only do we live in a much nicer house with a bigger yard, but we are able to travel more, put more money into retirement and college funds than before.
As a result of the above changes, DH and I are much happier and less stressed out. That makes us better parents, and that is better for our kids than anything else, IMO.
|
| Posted 1/27/11 5:09 PM |
| |
|
MrsKS
Thank You St. Gerard.....
Member since 12/09 8306 total posts
Name:
Kerri
|
Re: Family v Quality of Life
i'm confused here too. i consider family to be a major part of the quality of life.
usually this is work or family... or work or quality of life.
|
| Posted 1/27/11 6:46 PM |
| |
|
MrsKS
Thank You St. Gerard.....
Member since 12/09 8306 total posts
Name:
Kerri
|
Re: Family v Quality of Life
Posted by MrsSchwags
I am talking about in general with moving. I know this gets talked about a lot here.
But would you rather have your family close by and struggle to survive in an area, or live further away where you are comfortable but have no family near by.
Would you move in with your inlaws/parents if that meant staying near them?
or
Would you rather move elsewhere, find a stable job and live in a nice rental, house, etc?
ooohhhhh!
in this case quality of life for my immediate family.
ETA: i would move a good distance away for my immediate family to live comfortably and have a good quality of life.
Message edited 1/27/2011 6:48:36 PM.
|
| Posted 1/27/11 6:47 PM |
| |
|
Hotmamma408
LIF Adolescent
Member since 6/08 692 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Family v Quality of Life
Posted by -Lisa-
I think they go hand in hand. Family is an important aspect of my quality of life.
ITA!
|
| Posted 1/27/11 6:51 PM |
| |
|
JandJ1224
Member since 6/06 5911 total posts
Name:
Jannette
|
Re: Family v Quality of Life
I voted family, my extended family is part of my life and my childrens life on a daily basis. I love that I am 5 min from my mom and sisters and neices and nephews. We spend a lot of time together and I couldn't live without them
|
| Posted 1/27/11 7:05 PM |
| |
|
RocPin
Life's Beachy <3
Member since 2/08 6765 total posts
Name:
Heather
|
Re: Family v Quality of Life
Posted by -Lisa-
I think they go hand in hand. Family is an important aspect of my quality of life.
ITA
|
| Posted 1/27/11 7:28 PM |
| |
|
dawnygirl25
Growing up soo fast..
Member since 1/06 14917 total posts
Name:
Dawn
|
Re: Family v Quality of Life
Posted by BaroqueMama
Posted by -Lisa-
I think they go hand in hand. Family is an important aspect of my quality of life.
Ditto. Without my family around, my quality of life would be MUCH lower.
same for me. Family is everything to me.
|
| Posted 1/27/11 7:46 PM |
| |
|
Serendipity
Summer!
Member since 4/07 7631 total posts
Name:
PrayingWishingHopingALOT
|
Re: Family v Quality of Life
You need to clarify...bc everyone's idea of being NEAR family or AWAY from family is different. Do you mean NEAR as in 5-10 min or in same state? Get what I am saying?
|
| Posted 1/27/11 8:01 PM |
| |
|
BabyMamaDrama
LIF Zygote
Member since 1/11 11 total posts
Name:
Baby Mama
|
Re: Family v Quality of Life
I think a great indicator of the quality of your life is your family and friends. Unless we were really struggling there is no way I would sacrifice these relationships.
|
| Posted 1/27/11 8:21 PM |
| |
|
maybebaby
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 6870 total posts
Name:
Maureen
|
Re: Family v Quality of Life
Posted by BabyMamaDrama
I think a great indicator of the quality of your life is your family and friends. Unless we were really struggling there is no way I would sacrifice these relationships.
See, but i come from a totally diff perspective because my relationships aren't sacrificed one bit.
I talk to my mom almost every day. I see her as often as I can, and she comes to MD constantly. Same goes for my brothers, sisters and other relatives.
I don't know. I guess just living out of state for years now i have gained a totally different outlook. And I've made great friends here too, which has helped enormously whenever i feel a tiny bit homesick.
My mom might be moving to MD at some point too, and my brother is relocating here...I'm slooowly moving them all closer anyway, lol!
I just get a bit sensitive about this topic because you can still be insanely close to your loved ones and have a wonderful quality of life without living in the same vicinity.
|
| Posted 1/27/11 8:34 PM |
| |
|
PrincessVonTrockel
Trophy Wife in Training
Member since 11/09 2953 total posts
Name:
Natalie
|
Re: Family v Quality of Life
Quality of life for myself and my DH....then my family. If I'm not happy, there is no point.
|
| Posted 1/27/11 8:44 PM |
| |
|
MrsSchwags
Soccer Baseball Lax Mom
Member since 10/05 11240 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
|
Re: Family v Quality of Life
Thanks to all that responded.
Honestly, I am not happy on Long Island. I would pick up and move to the south in an instant. I am not close with any of my extended family. I see my parents maybe once every week-two weeks and my brother maybe once a month and they both live within 10 minutes of me.
I graduated college 6 years ago and hav been umemployed in Ny for 4 out of those 6 years. I am not the same here. I am not happy. Some of you are content staying at home with the kids, but that's not me. I love my kids but I love having a career.
Since I have been unemployed for so many years we have had many financial burdens. Most of our struggling is because of my job situation. My husband makes a nice salary here, but without my income our debt, student loans, child care costs are crazy expensive.
Most of you know I keep talking about moving. DH is on the same page as me. We know that our quality of life in Florida would be better. I would have a job and there are so many accounting jobs down there making nice salaries. Rent is reasonable for now, until we can buy something. We know the area we like since we lived there 5 years ago.
We just dont know what to do about our kids. They are 3 and 4. They are extremely close to his parents and brothers. My inlaws live 7 blocks from us now. They help us out with the kids and watch them so we can enjoy ourselves.
Our housing situation here is not good. In order to keep us here, our inlaws offered us a chance to move in with them. It is a cape style 2 family house now. They said we can split all utilities and live there for as long as we need or want.
Ideally that sounds good. We will stay on Long Island. We will have plenty of extra income since we won't have mortgage, so even if I don't have a job money won't be the stressing factor.
But now...do I really want to live with my inlaws? Even if we have our own entrances/floors? Is living that way better for us?
Then we talked about what happens when our kids are older. What happens if they can't afford to live here?
Are we better off moving now and doing what is best for the 4 of us financially and mentally for me?
Is staying here better for the kids?
If you are still reading..thank you. We have made so many wrong decisions. My brain hurts. Honestly my career is who I am. I don't want to be a SAHM. I want to work. In south carolina, I had a life. I had friends. I had a job that I liked. A house that I loved.
Every since coming back...I am alone. I hate it.
|
| Posted 1/27/11 9:50 PM |
| |
|
JP826
=)
Member since 9/06 10903 total posts
Name:
Me!! All about ME!
|
Re: Family v Quality of Life
Posted by rojerono
Family.
I could do without almost ANYTHING - but I would not want to live without my family.
Agreed.
|
| Posted 1/28/11 8:29 AM |
| |
|
MegZee
My bunny
Member since 5/06 8777 total posts
Name:
Meaghan
|
Re: Family v Quality of Life
I want DD to know her grandparents/cousins etc. so we stay here. We can afford to stay here, however, and live pretty comfortably. If we couldnt afford a house here my answer may be different.
I would move OOS, but at most 3 hours away - this way we could easily come by for the weekend.
I love LI, but if our entire family moved, we would probably move too.
|
| Posted 1/28/11 9:53 AM |
| |
|
apples99
love my sunshine..
Member since 11/08 1535 total posts
Name:
me
|
Re: Family v Quality of Life
Family is very important to me and I consider it to be a major part of the quality of life etc.. but if my immediate family (i.e. DH and I) were having a hard time out here, I wouldn't hesitate to move.. and perhaps even get my family to move with me at a later time..
|
| Posted 1/28/11 9:59 AM |
| |
|
MikesWife
Wanting...........
Member since 1/06 6887 total posts
Name:
Karen
|
Re: Family v Quality of Life
Posted by rojerono
Family.
I could do without almost ANYTHING - but I would not want to live without my family.
I feel the same.
|
| Posted 1/28/11 10:18 AM |
| |
|
| Pages: 1 [2] 3 |
