Did your friendships change after you became a parent?

I'm the first of my closest friends to have a baby. We've been really close since freshman year of college (13 years ago ). But now it's strange. They have no idea what it's like to have a new baby. I admit I'm not as interested in their work stories or guy drama. I'm sure we'll work it out, but it's been a weird few weeks.

Did having a baby totally change your friendships?

Re: Did your friendships change after you became a parent?

It did in the fact that I don't have as much time now to just go out to dinner on a whim, or go to a dinner party, have people over, etc
Now it involves getting a sitter and making arrangements.
Not as easy as when we were child free and avaialbe at the drop of a hat- that's for sure!
So there are people I see a lot less now.

Re: Did your friendships change after you became a parent?

Yes I was the first to have a baby and it changed my friendships greatly. It was exacerbated when I moved out of the city and away from them. It's harder logistically to see them now so it's much less frequent and when I do, sometimes I feel like an alien who cant relate to anyone anymore and I HATE it

Re: Did your friendships change after you became a parent?

definitely- I think I even posted about it.... I think its hard for them to understand our new lifestyle and the fact that we can't always return calls, sometimes can't leave the baby and really just are not interested in boy drama.

Re: Did your friendships change after you became a parent?

Totally changed. And ultimately, my friends wound up changing.

Just as much as you aren't really interested in their guy drama, they aren't interested in how many poops DC is taking a day

It may get better with time, it may not. But don't stress it, it's not worth it.

Re: Did your friendships change after you became a parent?

Absolutely!! I am the first one in my group to get married AND have a baby.. everyone else is still single and into going out every night. Our relationships changed a lot when I got married (2.5 years ago) and now that I've had a baby... they are VERY strained. They just don't understand my new way of life and that I can't talk on the phone for hours or go out every weekend. It makes me sad, but I wouldn't change my 'new' life for the world!

Re: Did your friendships change after you became a parent?

I think it will with some of my friends who don't have kids yet and are still very much into the party scene. I have one friend, who is married, that would be devastated if she got pregnant right now. But on the same token, I have other friends with kids and I think I'll end up getting closer with them. I'm also looking forward to joining things with DD and making new mommy friends.

Re: Did your friendships change after you became a parent?

I've posted about this before actually, my friendships changed a lot. I barely see any of my friends and they have no interest in my life. I don't get invited to things anymore and if I do it's at the last minute and I can't go. I was the first of my friends to have a baby and I don't think any of them have any interest in having children anytime soon. I thought when my son was born they would be very involved in his life, especially my two "best friends" but sadly that is not the case at all. I've learned it's not worth being upset over and hopefully I will make new friends that are also moms that I have more in common with.

Re: Did your friendships change after you became a parent?

I feel like my social circles have changed completely. Most of my good friends are still childless. We'll still see each other occasionally but it's night and day. I think we just don't have much in common anymore since DS has taken over most of my life. I'm hoping our friendships will be back to where they were once they are married with children.

My one supposedly good friend (was in my bridal party) lives 10 blocks from me and NEVER comes over to hang out with DS. She'll occasionally have brunch with me without DS and ask 1 question about DS.

I have met a lot of new people and gotten closer to acquaintances and friends of friends with children. It's easier to hang out with our little ones and we have much more in common.

Re: Did your friendships change after you became a parent?

Yes.

we lost touch with MOST of our friends esp the ones that arent married yet or are married and have no kids.

Re: Did your friendships change after you became a parent?

Yes. At first I was hurt. But now I'm so absorbed in my current life, that I'm very content with how things are.

Re: Did your friendships change after you became a parent?

Yes they did. For better and worse. I thank god for my handful of awesome girlfriends that I am still close with. We may not see or talk everyday, but the friendship is as strong as ever. We get whenever we can. Some single or childless friends I've lost touch with. And then there's the "friends" that couldn't/didn't want to/didn't know how to deal with DS being special needs (ones that have normal developing children). That adds a whole 'nother layer with a bunch of disappointment.

Simple fact is, life changes after children. But the good news is, in addition to losing some old "friends", you make new mommy friends, too.

Re: Did your friendships change after you became a parent?

Not really. Then again, a lot of my friends have kids so we are not in a similar position.

I think I have been the one that has changed. Not for better or worse, just different.

IMO if the friendships are true, in the end there is nothing that can really ruin them.