Do not know what to do WWYD?

About 4 yrs ago, my DH friend got married to a very snotty girl. I went to the wedding, made pleasentries, gave a nice gift etc. This is someone DH is friends with from his brothers. They are all friends. They had a baby we gave a nice gift, they had a housewarming BBQ, we gave a nice gift,for the baby and the house . The wife talked around me, for no reason. No one has a problem getting along with DH and I. She had a first b day party for the baby, which adults were invited to, and the did not include us. They invited us to there yearly BBQ we did not go. We were was genunily hurt. We were not good enough? Fast forward to this year. We were invited to the BBQ- what do I do, I would normally not go, would send my DH for a few hours without me, my SIL is going to be there as well as some other people I would like to see. I do not know if i should put it behind me, and go, go for an hour or so, or just not go at all, because if she talks around me again, I am afraid I am going to say something that is not going to be nice. You know how men are they do not hold grudges the way women do.... I am a very easy going person, , I have no problems getting along with people... WWYD?

Message edited 5/15/2011 7:17:04 PM.

Re: Do not know what to do WWYD?

I had a "friend" that would speak about me. We had the same circle of friends so I didn't want to make things uncomfortable also I didn't want to let my "friend" know who gave her up.

Anyway, I distanced myself from her, it took some time but she no longer calls etc and when I do see her, its fine, not like we had a falling out.

So...there is a long answer to me saying I probably wouldn't go!

Re: Do not know what to do WWYD?

Honestly, I would let the hurt from not being invited to the 1st bday go and just go to the BBQ. They invited you to the BBQ last year so they obviously weren't cutting you guys out as friends, there was probably some other reason for you not being invited. I know my son's first bday is coming up and to save space w/our large families we won't be inviting a bunch of our childless friends. I figure most of them don't want to come and hang out w/my family and watch a bunch of toddlers run around anyway.
Don't take it as a slight, just because I'm not going to invite some friends to my son's bday party doesn't mean I don't like them. Bdays are a lot different than a casual friend BBQ.
The wife might be petty and mean, but your DH is still friends w/her DH and you have other people you want to see while you're there. Go have fun!

Re: Do not know what to do WWYD?

I would go and hang out with SIL and other friends. If things become akward, then leave.

Re: Do not know what to do WWYD?

I would go for a little while, just to see the people you really want to catch up with.

Re: Do not know what to do WWYD?

What did she say about you, do you mind sharing?

Re: Do not know what to do WWYD?

Re: Do not know what to do WWYD?

Maybe I am not reading it right.. was everyone in your circle invited to the 1st birthday except for you? Sounds like if its your husband's brother's friend you may not be invited to all events, I am very friendly with my brother's friends too, at times throughout many many years, we are all together hanging out, but not for every event. A BBQ is larger, less formal, more casual, more room, kind of setting, go an have a good time, talk to the people that you like/know well and enjoy. If the wife of this friend is cold, let it be, just be kind and either she'll warm up or remain distant. I wouldn't take the first birthday too personally, unless I am missing something.