Simplifying your life..

I really feel like I am losing my mind sometimes. Between working full time, having a (VERY ACTIVE AND FRESH) 2 year old, 2 dogs, a husband, a house, laundry, neverending cleaning...I am losing it. I try to do as much in advance as I can (packing lunch at night etc). Please share with me any tips you have. I feel like when I go to work I get a break

Re: Simplifying your life..

Does your DH help you? What are your weeknights like once you get home from work?

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did i miss something? when did casey get a sibling???

i'm in the same boat and honestly had a long talk with dave about how i'm running on empty and need some serious help or i'll lose it...

Re: Simplifying your life..

I feel you pain since I'm in the same predicament.

The one advice I have to give is, don't put everything on your shoulder. Delegate some tasks to DH and have some kinda routine if possible. Cook a few big meals on the weekends so you leftovers for the dinner. And takeout 1 or 2x a week...

Here's my routine if that helps:

6pm - pickup DS and get home
6:30 - prepare and eat dinner (microwave leftovers or takeout)
7pm - downtime/family time, then dessert
8pm - DH gives DS bed/bath routine while I get DS' lunch/clothes ready for daycare
9pm - DH and I clean up in kitchen and or tidy up
9:30pm - Couple/tv time, shower
11pm- Bedtime

Or you can do what my brother and wife does and just live right next door to the in-laws and have them care for the kids and cook meals for you so all you gotta do is show up for dinner and pick up kids. :)

Message edited 8/30/2011 12:56:43 PM.

Re: Simplifying your life..

Jess - yes Casey has a 5 month old little brother named Benji :) He's a yorkiepoo.

My morning starts at 6:15 when I get up and take a shower before DS wakes up. Let the dogs out, feed the dogs, put makeup on, get partially dressed (I don't get fully dressed til right before I leave - my DS is messy LOL). Get DS up & dressed, fed, and entertained while I pack his lunch bag, dry my hair, finish getting dressed. And then of course in the meantime, my DS on a typical day will dump the dogs dishes on the floor, chase the puppy, pull the toiletpaper down and into the toilet into a giant mound...then I get him in the car, drop him at daycare, drive to work.

Work 9-5 : Easier than anything else I do before or after LOL

After work: Sometimes run an errand (get milk etc), pick up DS from daycare, go home. DH usually cooks dinner (this I am very thankful for). After we eat, I give DS a bath, read a story (or 5), get him into bed. Then go downstairs and sometimes load or unload the dishwasher, sometimes DH will do it if I ask. Make lunch for the next day for all 3 of us, set up coffee maker for the morning, clean up a little. Sometimes do a load of laundry or ironing, whatever needs to be done. Take out the garbage, recycling, etc. Then collapse on the couch around 9:30 or 10. Just the little things we argue over - like DH usually locks up at night. So I said to him, why don't you make it a habit to take out the garbage right before you lock up? (One less thing for me to do - how easy is that?) He sometimes will, sometimes won't. I don't know how to get the point across without nagging.

My DH does help to an extent. But he won't give DS a bath - it makes him nervous. Very rarely does he put him to bed. He sometimes will clean up the dishes, sometimes won't. He does work a lot and does physical work, so I get that he's tired. But I need to figure out how we can share the workload a little more. My work clothes are all over the place, at 10 o 'clock at night I very rarely feel like ironing etc...

Are other FTWM lives as crazy as mine?

Re: Simplifying your life..

I could have written this post myself. I have no time for anything. When DD goes to bed at like 8:30 am I just crash. I don't have energy. I am pregnant, have a 13 month old (who is also very active), work full-time, have a demanding husband, etc.

I really feel your pain.

I look forward to the responses.

Message edited 8/30/2011 3:02:58 PM.

Re: Simplifying your life..

Can you get your DS up after you dry your hair, get dressed and get all lunches together? Unless he's up already...

We get DD up after we're both dressed & ready to go. I get her up at 7:20, get her dressed, etc and i'm out the door by 7:30. DH gives her breakfast and puts her shoes on and they leave by 7:50 for daycare.

At night we help eachother which makes it a lot less stressful. DH has work to do at night since he has a side business but he doesn't start until DD is in bed.

I get DD from daycare and get home first, start dinner, get in running clothes and when DH gets home we usually go running together with DD in her jogger. Dinner is either in the oven during our run or i'll heat up leftovers or make something quick when we get back (or prepare something for DD quick and we'll eat later).

I'll clean off the table/do the dishes while DH runs the bath or vice versa. I usually finish up bathtime, get DD in pj's, DH makes her bottle and has that ready and one of us lays with her while she drinks it, reads books while the other finishes cleaning the kitchen or throws in laundry.

DD is in bed by 8 and i'll do laundry, run the dishwasher, vacuum the kitchen and dining room floors quick then watch some shows. DH does work usually. We go to bed about 11ish.

We save the big cleaning (bathrooms, dusting, etc) for the weekends.

Sometimes the laundry piles up, folded clothes sit on our bedroom floor for days, dishes stay in the sink til morning but there are nights we're just too tired or not in the mood.

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I think the key is having a husband that will help out..that is very important IMO>

Re: Simplifying your life..

I have 2 DDs, 3.5 and 11 months, work FT and have a DH who works 2 jobs. It's challenging, to say the least.

I shower and get dressed before I get them up.

I make all lunches at night from leftovers during dinnertime clean up.

I try to keep weeknight dinners easier. Breakfast for dinner is easy, so are sandwiches. I also plan and prep dinners for the next night by doing things like defrosting, marinating, steaming rice/veggies etc. so that cooking dinner is quicker and less work.

I cook extra on weekends which gets me through Monday and Tuesdays lunches when DH isn't home at night.

I clean as I go. If I'm cooking, I will wash dishes and wipe counters etc while cooking. I wipe the bathroom counters while brushing my teeth. Things like that.

One day a week that DH is home to wrangle the children, I pick one big task to tackle, organizing closets, deep cleaning etc. Normally I can be done with the task in an hour or two.

I try to wash 1 load of laundry a night, doesn't always get put away or folded, but hey, it's clean, right? It'll get caught up eventually.

I started having DD1 help put her toys away, put her dirty clothes in laundry, put shoes away about your DS's age. Now she also makes her bed and puts her clean clothes in her drawers.

DH NEEDS CHORES TOO!!!!!! He is responsible for animal maintenance (cats and fishies), garbage removal and floors.

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What does your DH do why you are putting your son to bed & cleaing up, making lunch/coffee for the next day?
It seems like he could do some of that while you are bathing & reading to DS.

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I wish i had an answer. I can just say that my life feels crazy and like there isn't time for anything. Everything I do is rushed.

I try to get up around 6 to shower and get ready before my daughters wake up. But I usually hit snooze and wake up to them calling me. Then it's a rush to get myself ready, and get each of them ready through protests, wanting to wear something else, not wanting to go to school, etc. Then getting their bags ready for school--always a few snacks, sometimes sheets, blankets, bathing suits, change of clothes, etc. Some days it's also starting dinner in the crockpot, or taking out something to defrost for dinner. We aim to leave around 7:45/7:50, but often it's more like 8:05.

Then drop the off at daycare, which can take a long time because they cry and it breaks my heart and I have trouble just walking away. Then commute to work. DH or my father picks them up from daycare.

I get home (if it's a good day) around 6:30. I get dinner ready while they watch one tv show, play or read.

Then dinner time, and hopefully it's not a melt down dinner, which it frequently is for at least one of them (or my DH!). Then DH cleans up the kitchen while I bathe the girls and get them in pajamas. Then it's story time, 1 more episode of tv or family play time. Then I put DD1 to bed. She goes to bed easily and sweetly. Then I put DD2 to bed. That is the most anxiety causing part of my day. There are tears, screams, kicking, shouting and pleas for me to stay longer, sleep in her bed, sleep on her floor. I take at least half an hour trying to put her to bed, and sometimes up to an hour. When I leave her room, there is screaming and begging for me to come back. Breaks my heart and gives me anxiety all at the same time. I have a glass of wine.

Then, depending on my energy level (it's 9:30 at the earliest by this time, usually closer to 10), house needs, DH needs, and work needs, I either tidy up the rest of the house, start some laundry, collapse on the couch and pass out within 5 minutes, talk to DH, watch a little tv, read a book, order groceries online or do other online tasks, or work from home.

Would love to find time to do more household chores, exercise, and simply relax a little more, but I don't see how.

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I do my make up at red lights or in parking lot at work - I'm not gorgeous and don't wear a lot though.

ordering peapod groceries saves at least an hour of time a week.

If you can afford it, consider a laundry service. most Laundromats have it. You drop off your laundry, they weigh it per pound and they clean and fold and hang on hangers PERFECT, you pick up next day and put all away so easily. I can't do this anymore $$ but I loved it, and its worth the money and time, if you can pay for it. Not that expensive but certainly more than doing it yourself at home. If you don't get your nails done or treat yourself often, you may want to consider this for sanity.

Have junk drawer, closet, trunks/chest and throw stuff in there nice and hidden and doesn't take long to do. (nothing important though or you'll go nuts finding it) If you are a neat freak this won't work for you though.

I don't know how to get DH to do more. That's tricky.

I feel overwhelmed too.

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This post kinda scares me... I am due to give birth in November. I too have 2 dogs and will work FT... these things have been weighing on my mind heavily too. How the heck am I going to do it all? DH will help... but, still...

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You are not alone in how you feel. Trust me!
My husband works night, but is home with my son during the day, so he is in charge of empyting/loading the dishwasher, emptying all the garbage pails in the house (particularly my son's with dirty diapers), doing all the laundry and folding it, bathing our son and tidying up around here. This is what keeps me sane. If he didn't do those things, I would not know where to even begin. Things just fell into this pattern after our son was born, but it works for us.
After work I try to spend as much time with the kids as possible between making dinner, cleaning up and what not.
My kids go to bed very early: my son at 6:45ish and my daughter 7:30.
Then it's my goal to not sit down until all tasks are accomplished for the evening. Like literally, I refuse to sit still or sit down at all until I make lunch, pick out my clothes and iron them, clean up any leftover mess in the kitchen and any other random task that needs to be done. Then, by 8:30-9:00 I'm done for the evening and I can sit down and relax. I usually call my sister during these awful evening chores and she does her nightly routine, too. It totally makes it more bearable.
I find that I'm pretty methodical about what I do at night. Like I pretty much do the same things in the same order and I am on auto pilot once the kids are in bed.
Definitely get a routine going and get your husband in on it and life will definitely run smoother. I have no choice since it's just me and hubby's not here, but get him in on it and it'll be so much better

Re: Simplifying your life..

I was just thinking. Maybe you can make a list of things that have to get done every night, like:

Cook dinner
empty dishwasher
load dishwasher
clean up dinner
bathe DS
put DS to bed
Pack lunches
Bring out garbage
etc., etc., etc.

Then show DH the list and say, "Here's all the things that need getting done at night. Which of them are you going to do? Then I'll do the others."

I mean, that seems to simple, but still, it could work.

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I don't have BTDT experience... but if it's in your budget, perhaps a housekeeper may be a big help... Like even if it was just twice a month to help get some of the big cleaning in order so you would just have some minor stuff to maintain in between.

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When I worked, I used to set aside a weeks worth of outfits for myself and DS. I put his in a Monday-Sunday closet stacker so I didn't have to search for outfits each day.

I showered right before bed so I could save time in the morning.

Also, I made a lot of crockpot meals. They were easy, and lasted for more than one meal.

Re: Simplifying your life..

Posted by PennyCat

I don't have BTDT experience... but if it's in your budget, perhaps a housekeeper may be a big help... Like even if it was just twice a month to help get some of the big cleaning in order so you would just have some minor stuff to maintain in between.

Re: Simplifying your life..

What time do you leave the house? (Trying to figure out how long your total morning routine takes)

I would suggest writing down your actual time spent on things, see where you spend the most time and see if you can cut that down.

When I did this I realized that I was taking longest to get dressed because I would put on and take off 16 things before I found something I liked.

So now I lay out the week of clothes on Sunday, ironed and ready to go.

It may be something different for you.

Just keep a little notepad with you for a couple of days and jot down time started and stopped - it will also see where you get interrupted.