Need help... just not enough hours in the day...

I just can't seem to do it? After working FT and my DH working FT and PT there just isn't enough time every day. I don't have time to cook by the time I get home so we're not eating the greatest, running around with sports for both kids, religion, errands, etc. We're always rushing to even get to bed at night. There's no time anymore for cuddling, storytime, etc. with the boys and they're "needing" that time with me and I just don't have it? The baby is needy especially in the evening to bedtime since she hasn't seen me all day either. I feel the boys school work isn't getting done appropriately anymore since we're always running around. They're suppose to read everyday and they haven't at all. I don't work with them on anything lately, it's a mess! It's a mad rush from the second I wake up until I go to bed. Always rushing and trying to do things and they still never get done. I'm tired of it. I haven't spent any quality time with the boys in months. I try, I really do, but it's so hard and usually there isn't time to since if they don't go to bed they won't go until after 9-10pm on a school night. We need rules, schedules, organization around my house and I can't even find the time to do that!!! I always "start" things but can never finish them. Please throw me your suggestions. My boys really need their mommy back!

I knew it was going to be hard with 3 kids and we've been ok, but as more and more things are going on the harder it is and almost impossible now...

HELP!!!!

ETA: That I have absolutely NO me time AT ALL!!! I really, really need some! I can barely go to the gym and I really need to lose weight since I'm so unhappy about the way I look.

Message edited 10/12/2011 12:39:24 PM.

Re: Need help... just not enough hours in the day...

Personally, I would take a long look at what activities they are in and make some adjustments. Limit them to 1 sport (or activity) per season. That is really the only place to make up time since the other things - school, work, religion, etc. are "mandatory".

Message edited 10/12/2011 12:50:35 PM.

Re: Need help... just not enough hours in the day...

I don't have three children so take my advice with a grain of salt. On sunday I cook for the entire week. I make 3 or 4 meals that will double as left overs for a second night. This freed up some time during the week. Were are the kids before you get home. Is it possible for them to have homework done before you get home and this way you only have to check it? The sports/ religious programs. Reduce, reduce, reduce. Once you get back on track you could start adding them back in one at a time, but right now your are in survival mode, do the absolute least amount of activities possible.

I do this with my son. I will set 15 minutes on the microwave to just be/ play with my son and when the alarm goes off he tells me I have to get back to work. He gets quality time and it only took 15 minutes. Sneak in 15 minutes or even 5 minutes whenever you can. It's quality not quantity.

Is you husband helping out. He has two jobs - does that include the weekend. The weekend he should help out more if he's not working.

Re: Need help... just not enough hours in the day...

I would cut back on acitivites and non mandatory things such as sports, etc. Your kids are close to the ages of mine (7,5, 15 mo) and with my oldest in 1st grade this year I'm starting to see how kids can get oversceduled and lives becoming a whirlwind. My kids go to Catholic school, so we don't have the out of school religion class, but I limit activites to one per child and even that is a lot. Tues DD has dance class, so during her class, I sit in the car with my oldest and we do his reading. DS plays soccer which means one practive during the week and one weekend game.

Then on top of that you throw in your FT work schedule. Its too much.

As far as time for meals, make meal plans for everyday. So when you come home you don't even have to think about what you are going to eat. On weekends, I will cook a bunch of boneless chicken breast and use them througout the week...fajitas, salads, sandwich night. A great grocery store shortcut is rotisseie chickens. I LOVE THEM. I will pick up a few at a time and use them for burritos, or eat simply with a baked potato, with roasted veggies on a homemade pizza. You can make very healthy quick and easy meals that you can have on the table in 20 minutes simply by just planning ahead. When I grocery shop, I buy whatever meat is on sale and plan my menu that way. Plan breakfast for dinner one night.

Good luck!

Re: Need help... just not enough hours in the day...

Ds is in nursery school now, but I don't have him in any activities yet. I plan on limiting his activities to one per season. There are some sports I'm willing to avoid like baseball bc it's a lot of practice time.

Bedtime on school night should be 8 pm no exceptions so you can get stuff done at night.

I make a huge put of meatsauce with frozen veggies in it once a week so we have pasta 2 nights. Then big batch of breaded chicken cutlets in the oven for 2 more nights.

Re: Need help... just not enough hours in the day...

I'm sorry to hear you're having a rough time. I can relate to your "rushing" from morning to night. I only have 1 child I feel the same way sometimes.

I don't really have much advice to offer except maybe take a sick day from work, yank the kids from school for the day and just go somewhere and "be". Have your husband join you too if he can. If you stay in the house, you'll find excuses to clean or whatever. Go to the park. Go for a walk on the boardwalk. Maybe that will help even if it's just temporary.

Good luck!!!

Re: Need help... just not enough hours in the day...

I have 3 kids of very differing ages (10, 5, and 2) and although I don't work, I feel ya.

The way I see it is this. When your kids are grown up, they are not going to care about a dance class, a football game, or whatever that they participated in when they were 7. They WILL remember roadtrips. Family dinners. Snuggling with Mommy before bed. Reading stories. Etc. THAT'S the stuff that makes memories. So I say, eliminate some activities. If you are running around EVERY DAY, eating fast food in the car for dinner, not sitting down until 10 pm, it's just too much.

Your kids need sleep. They need nourishing food. They need time with you. If they are not getting those things then you need to reconsider your schedule and their schedule.

There's a lot of wisdom to the phrase, "If mama ain't happy, ain't NOBODY happy." You are clearly not happy, from your post. Here's my advice:
-Cut unnecessary activities from your schedule. You have to do work, school, religion. The other stuff is not important if it cuts too much into family time.
-Set a time for yourself that you need to be "in" by at night. Say, 6:30. If activity gets you in later than that time then it's "Sorry, can't do it."
-Make the crockpot be your best friend. I would suggest getting one that switches to "warm" after a certain number of hours. That way there is a healthful, hot meal waiting for you when you get home. And you can make a lot of food so you can have leftovers.
-There's no shame in "quitting" something or not continuing with it. You just say, "Sorry, we were doing too much." Or, "It just didn't fit in our schedule."

I have a whole boatload of crockpot recipes if you want, and I wish you luck!!!

Re: Need help... just not enough hours in the day...

Re: Need help... just not enough hours in the day...

Thank you everyone for all your great ideas and sharing your craziness!

- Religion is on Sundays
- Baseball practice is one day a week (varies which day)
- Soccer practice is one day a week (varies as well)
- Baseball and soccer games on Saturdays different times

My older son will be starting Karate soon which will be 2 days a week.

Baseball and soccer end by first week of November. It usually ends end of October but there are make-up games due to weather.

I work FT and have to get the baby from daycare 3 days a week, kids off the bus 2 days a week, DH works T and TH nights and Sat for 4 hours. There are a couple of days that we don't have anything "scheduled" but those days are used for errands/stores. We always forget things or need something last minute so I'm dragging the kids somewhere since those seem to happen on nights when DH is working.

It should calm down soon when the sports ends. They start up again in April. Not sure who will be doing what yet.

My poor baby girl... she gets dragged to everything, also when she's suppose to be napping or sleeping.

Re: Need help... just not enough hours in the day...

Posted by CaidensMommy

Thank you everyone for all your great ideas and sharing your craziness!

- Religion is on Sundays
- Baseball practice is one day a week (varies which day)
- Soccer practice is one day a week (varies as well)
- Baseball and soccer games on Saturdays different times

My older son will be starting Karate soon which will be 2 days a week.

Baseball and soccer end by first week of November. It usually ends end of October but there are make-up games due to weather.

I work FT and have to get the baby from daycare 3 days a week, kids off the bus 2 days a week, DH works T and TH nights and Sat for 4 hours. There are a couple of days that we don't have anything "scheduled" but those days are used for errands/stores. We always forget things or need something last minute so I'm dragging the kids somewhere since those seem to happen on nights when DH is working.

It should calm down soon when the sports ends. They start up again in April. Not sure who will be doing what yet.

My poor baby girl... she gets dragged to everything, also when she's suppose to be napping or sleeping.

Re: Need help... just not enough hours in the day...

Re: Need help... just not enough hours in the day...

They are in only 1 sport/activity "each" this season. This is the first season my younger son is in an activity. Maybe I'm just not used to the extra running around with my younger son so it's seems overwhelming? Catechism is on Sundays now (used to be Thursdays which was worse).

I also don't agree with multiple activities every week. I think it's too much for the kids forget about the parents. It's so much running around. But, I may feel differently if I were a SAHM. I may have more time getting ready as opposed to rushing to get home from work, get three kids ready to leave and out the door right when I get home. That's the exhausting part.

I also am having a hard time going to the store with all 3 of them. The boys are just animals! They don't listen for anything.

Re: Need help... just not enough hours in the day...

It sounds like your family needs a break. If I were you I would hold off on team sports after this season ends and stick to family, school, and religion for at least a month or two.

Take time to get a family routine established. Including all the must do things like cooking, shopping, & cleaning in your routine but try to limit those things to when the kids are asleep or one of you can devote time to them while the other shops. You are probably always forgetting things because you are always rushed. Put a routine in place and stick with it as much as possible. The kids will know what to expect and will be calmer.

Once you have a routine in place see where you have a little room and gradually reintroduce extra activities. I would start with something that puts both boys in the same place at the same time like TKD or Swimming.
Forget running in two different directions for two different soccer teams right now. They have plenty of time for that. Reserve weekends for family time as much as possible. Before you know it they will be off with their friends on weekends.

I know its not easy. Hang in there.

Message edited 10/14/2011 9:08:05 AM.

Re: Need help... just not enough hours in the day...

Well I have another perspective. Last year I made my son take off from a sport that he loved because it was too much. This year when he returned he hates it because he is so far behind his teammates and he does not feel good about himself. I am sad for him and wish I had not skipped the year. I have heard similar experiences in other sports. No more breaks for us for a while.

But what I am trying to do is use flylady.com to help organize my life.

Re: Need help... just not enough hours in the day...

The other ladies gave great ideas and tips!! All together, DH and I have 5 children, aged: almost 2, 3, 7, 9 and almost 11. The 3 older kids play soccer. The eldest two are on two soccer teams each!! Our DD (3) is in dance. It is pretty crazy at our house, with DH and I both working FT (we work opposite tours though). Our saving grace is that the 3 older kids are with us every other weekend and dinner two nights per week, and with their mother the other times. We make sure we limit the older kids activities and if that means they miss practices or games, so be it. Family time is the most important priority to us, and getting to sleep at a reasonable hour is a close second. I plan on only allowing the the little ones to do one activity/sport per season. I'm sure it will help to keep things more under control.

As for dinners, I either try to do a crock pot meal or a casserole for DH and the kids (since I am at work during dinnertime and don't get home until after 1am). Other times, DH will make a quick meatloaf or will pick up Boston Market here and there, though we don't do that often. Pasta is big in our house!

It is true though, if you are miserable, then everything else is just soooo much more difficult to deal with/manage. You must carve out at least 1 hour to yourself per week. Whether it be to go for a walk, get a mani or just read- find the time! Not trying to wish your lives away, but I hope that Nov comes quickly so you can have a breather!