Feeling a bit hurt

I'm not sure how you other ladies feel about this but it's been bothering me. Do you get invited often to nieces/nephews/cousins kids bday parties?

I've noticed over the past few years that I seem to be excluded and DH tells me to blow it off, I can't! I have literally cried over this.

I may not have young children of my own, but hello cousin! I'd still LOVE to see your little one blow out his candles on his 4th birthday

Oddly enough, most of my friends are very good about continuing to include me and I am SO grateful. However, my cousins and even my own SIL has not invited me to the kids parties and it hurts. Literally every one of my cousins has a child so would it kill you to invite 1 more person (me?). I've casually brought it up and gotten the, oh you don't have kids excuse. OK, I still love YOUR kids!

Just wondering if my family is just overly insensitive since my friends seem to have missed this hurtful habit.

Re: Feeling a bit hurt

I would be a little hurt if I was excluded from family birthday parties simply because I don't have children. If they were going to kids' play places, I could understand but if it's just a cake cutting thing at the house? Like you said, what's one more person.

Re: Feeling a bit hurt

I would be very hurt. My niece and nephews are like our children and I couldn't imagine not being included in things like this.

I am so sorry this happened to you!!

Re: Feeling a bit hurt

Thank you

I am VERY hurt by it. I have a hard time admitting it because I feel shunned, I guess lol It's hard for me. Some of them are kiddie parties but some are not. Even if it's at the bowling alley, I don't need the same invitation but a simple, come share the moment would mean the world to me. If they exclude me, then I just completely miss the whole birthday, know what I mean? If they had a kid party and a family party, I would totally understand. Most times, it's a kid party or they have kid events so i'm just not included. Now that i've said it, I admit that i'm really upset about it! They stink.

Re: Feeling a bit hurt

Quite the opposite, I get invited to everything! Birthdays, communions, concerts, soccer games, recitals, you name it.

Heck, sometimes I invite myself!

I would be really hurt if I wasn't invited and almost, now to a point, expected to be at these events.

I'm guessing the decrease in invites is only because they probably *think* you'd rather be doing something else, something more fun. I know my sister *always* prefaces her invites with, "you KNOW you don't HAVE to come..." so maybe in this case they're just trying to "let you off the hook" so to speak, thinking they're doing you a favor.

I would talk to them and explain how you feel. I'm sure once they know they'll feel badly that they've hurt you and the invitations will roll in.

Re: Feeling a bit hurt

Personally I wouldn't feel hurt I'd be delighted not to be invited to such things but I understand that you are. I don't really get why you wouldn't be invited just because you don't have kids! It's a family function!

As an aside, I have a grown azz cousin who is 50 who I accidentally forgot to invite to my house for a small (very small!) family function and when he saw me next gave me hell for it! Literally came up to me and said "Why wasn't i invited?!!!" pizzed off! I just apologized and said you'll be at the next thing I have

So perhaps a conversation (not so blunt!) with them may be in order?

Re: Feeling a bit hurt

Nieces and nephews... i'd be furious... It wouldnt happen because they wouldnt have any good pictures if i wasnt there lol...

as far as cousins... i wouldnt be upset unless i had always been invited and gone to these events and then all of a sudden i wasnt invited anymore!

Re: Feeling a bit hurt

For a niece or nephew you should 100% be invited and you have every right to be angry. I would say something about it to a sibling too. If it is a sibling of DH have him say it.

For a cousin - if you were invited before and this is a sudden thing - I would be hurt by the lack of an invite. I guess because I have no 1st cousins (estranged) and none of them have kids I would not be upset. However my experience is clouded by the fact that I did not have cousin parties growing up either. I guess if I grew up as kids with the parents and now they have kids - I could see why you would be hurt by it.

I make a point to invite my siblings to my kids birthday parties and I am so incredibly grateful that they choose to come and have active roles in my kids lives. It means the world to me.

Re: Feeling a bit hurt

Thank you for the responses and advice. You all are so sweet.

Cousins and I grew up very close, like brothers/sisters - always together! We still talk often and celebrate parties, bdays, etc. I'm invited to everything and i'm not paranoid or under the impression that they are deliberately excluding me. I know that if they knew how hurt I was, they would fix it. For some reason, I feel awkward/strange telling them how much it hurts me. DH makes me feel as though my feelings are not justified because "what's the big deal." Like a PP stated, he feels happy not to be invited I, on the other hand, can be sensitive and since losing my dad, I realize that every moment and event in life is precious. I LOOOOVE LOVE LOVE all of their little babies. It stinks to miss things, why should I miss them just because I don't have a little brat to bring? ((lol i'm kidding with the little brat thing!)) They know how much I adore their little ones.

Oh well, thank you for entertaining my pity party. I think i'm going to have a fancy wine party and only invite my friends and CF family. When they complain, i'll give them the same excuse. You all are awesome.

Re: Feeling a bit hurt

You are not the only one, but mine its friends.

My cousins are like siblings to me too so when their children have their kids parties I always get a call or text about it. And like you I don't need the actual invite or anything. If I can make it great if not no big deal.

Some of my friends on the other hand STILL don't get it even after I said something. They think they are doing me a favor.

Re: Feeling a bit hurt

I agree w/you. All of my girlfriends have kids, I am literally the only one who doesn't. Aside from 1st b-days, I never get invited. It hurts b/c all the Moms have this special bond and makes me feel like an outcast. I would never say anything to them. It would just be nice to be asked along so I can chit chat w/the Moms. My SIL always invites me but if that were to ever stop, I would be sure to say something right away.

Re: Feeling a bit hurt

I stopped getting invited after about the 4th or 5th birthday because at that age, they are mostly just inviting the kids from school, sometimes it's on a weekday, etc. Some people would still invite me and say "if you want to stop by..." but others just didn't invite me because they weren't really inviting any adults - just kids.

Re: Feeling a bit hurt

Can I ask you, are these like kids party at chucky cheeses or family party's at the house? Because that would make a difference to me...

Re: Feeling a bit hurt

You have FM.