Im feeling alittle hurt and i being totally unreasonable ...

so since the birth of my DD 3 1/2 months ago my father has lost his job and my parents are having a hard time with money my mummy works which is keeping them afloat for now while my dad is looking for employment in his field ...

that being said i called my mum to say that we hadnt got the v day cards for the kids ........

well she said she never sent any

this is DD 1st v day .....

she never ever for got any 1sts with my DS and was always here to be with us now i know that is just unlikely with their situation but a card to her only granddaughter on her 1st v day ..... i just feel that she isnt getting equal .....

am i being totally stupid about this ???

i feel alittle hurt

im thinking im going to always over compensate her so she dosent feel cheated .....

Re: Im feeling alittle hurt and i being totally unreasonable ...

Things like that don't bother me - and it seems like your parents are going through a lot so it could have just slipped her mind. If you are upset though you should tell her that!

Re: Im feeling alittle hurt and i being totally unreasonable ...

I think you are being a little insensitive. They are going through a tough time financially which has got to be causing them tremendous stress and you're upset that she didn't send your daughter a Valentine's Day card?

ETA: However, if you are upset about it you should tell her how and why you feel that way. Don't let it ruin your day though.

Message edited 2/13/2009 6:09:39 PM.

Re: Im feeling alittle hurt and i being totally unreasonable ...

Personally, I think you're overreacting. It's just my opinion, but it's not her first Christmas - it's Valentine's Day - a day a lot of people don't even celebrate. I'm not "celebrating" with DS and it's his first - maybe take his pic, but that's it.
You're parents seem to be going thru a lot - I'd cut them some slack.

ETS: Obviously this isn't about the $$. I doubt you're mom didn't send a card b/c they can't afford it - it just wasn't her priority right now - which is understandable.

Message edited 2/13/2009 6:04:17 PM.

Re: Im feeling alittle hurt and i being totally unreasonable ...

Honestly, right now I would understand. Times are really rough right now. Maybe she is having a harder time than she lets on... It is her 1st V-day, so it is not like she will know or remember.

IDK, My sister and my mom both sent DS 1st V-Day cards and my 1st thought was, why waste the $?

I understand you initial reaction to be taken back, but I totally understand why.

Re: Im feeling alittle hurt and i being totally unreasonable ...

Re: Im feeling alittle hurt and i being totally unreasonable ...

I wouldn't feel bad about it or feel like she's being "cheated"

She's probably just distracted and having a hard time of things..

I would just try to think of how sweet it was for her to do that for DS in the first place and let this one slide.

Re: Im feeling alittle hurt and i being totally unreasonable ...

i think that 1st things are nice to put in their keepsake boxes

thats all after the 1st year is over then i dont feel it is such a big deal .......

Re: Im feeling alittle hurt and i being totally unreasonable ...

Re: Im feeling alittle hurt and i being totally unreasonable ...

I think that this is one of those things you need to drop or that you shouldn't be hurt about. I'm sure your parents have a lot on their minds and no offense... but getting a v-day card out isn't their first priority, as it wouldn't be mine if i was having financial problems. If i was having financial problems... my husband would be lucky if i remembered v-day or to even get him a card!

As the news reminds us every day... life is too short to sweat the small stuff. I think your dd will forgive your mother, as should you.

If you're worried about your dd noticing when she gets older... run out and get her a card and sign grandma's name on it!

Re: Im feeling alittle hurt and i being totally unreasonable ...

She probably just has a lot on her mind right now. I wouldn't have been upset, I would actually have felt bad knowing that she is so overwhelmed, that she didn't have time to do something she likes to do every year.

Re: Im feeling alittle hurt and i being totally unreasonable ...

I really would look past this right now. You might not know just how bad things are right now for them.

I know that it is bothering you but your kids aren't being slighted. It's a tough time for them and they really need support and understanding too:)

Re: Im feeling alittle hurt and i being totally unreasonable ...

ugggghhhh...this is a tough position...
Ya know what you can be hurt but dont let this ruin your relationship right now. Leave it alone.
Like you said, circumstances are different this yr. I am sure they arent thinking VALENTINES DAY.
I know you are probably thinking "just a card...why cant they send it" but their minds are probably so fogged right now. I might give them the benefit of the doubt.

Re: Im feeling alittle hurt and i being totally unreasonable ...

I think you are overreacting as well. Yes, its nice to get the reminder, but at the same time, they seem to have a lot going on.

And your parents live overseas, correct? So it isn't just a $.99 card with a $.42 stamp, and between 2 kids it could be $10, which is money that can be used for other stuff.

But don't let it ruin your day! They don't know the difference

Re: Im feeling alittle hurt and i being totally unreasonable ...

I could see how you would be hurt, but JMO I wouldn't have said anything or asked where my DC's card was. I think on this one you are being a little overly sensetive.

Re: Im feeling alittle hurt and i being totally unreasonable ...

I wouldn't worry about. Honestly, your parents sound like they are doing the best they can. #1 and #2 do not get the same treatment, but that does not mean it can't be just as good. I would try to let it go.

Re: Im feeling alittle hurt and i being totally unreasonable ...

Re: Im feeling alittle hurt and i being totally unreasonable ...

I understand....its the sentiment....

Re: Im feeling alittle hurt and i being totally unreasonable ...

I personally wouldn't be hurt by it. I don't think most of my family did it and they aren't out of a job. I understand your feelings however, but I would try to let it go.

Re: Im feeling alittle hurt and i being totally unreasonable ...

Honestly, I wouldn't be hurt by it, and as I'm writing this, I don't believe DS got any Valentine's cards last year. Which didn't bother me--if my parents missed his birthday, that might, but not Valentine's Day. But this is my feeling about it, not yours. It has never veen a big holiday to me.

I would give your Mom a break on this though. She is probably going through a lot right now with your Dad out of work and the economy so bad.

Re: Im feeling alittle hurt and i being totally unreasonable ...

Re: Im feeling alittle hurt and i being totally unreasonable ...

I know how easy it can be to feel hurt by these things, but really, it was not an intentional thing. They are in a difficult place right now and valentines day s furthest from their minds, I'm sure.

They can be old school in their thinking that V-day is for couples, not for kids and grandkids. Christmas is one thing, but V-day...

Re: Im feeling alittle hurt and i being totally unreasonable ...

I honestly want to say

"Oh get over it!"

but I know I will get flamed for it.... but honestly, -- it's valentine's day, a day for lovers, not for grandchildren/grandparents...

Re: Im feeling alittle hurt and i being totally unreasonable ...

Re: Im feeling alittle hurt and i being totally unreasonable ...

I can understand you feeling upset about this, and no I dont think your being insensitive or overreacting. Your not asking for a gift.. its the thought you were asking for.. you want to make sure your dd is thought of in the same way your ds was.. whats wrong with that. They could have made a card for your dd.. I know I would feel the same exact way you did. Its okay to want to make sure all your children feel equal no matter what its about