Who is considered "family"

I'm more of a luker than a regular poster to this board. I was a little reluctant to post this but i had an interesting conversation with a co-worker before the holidays & its been bothering me a little bit. Maybe im reading too much into it.

To make a long story short, i was asking him the "poltically correct" way to say happy holidays to a colleague i never met in person. When i said something along the lines of saying "happy holidays to you & your family" he replied "do you know if she has chidren?" I said i'm sure she has family regardless if she has children or not. Currently i am childfree not by choice and trying to come to terms that it may not happen for us. I consider my DH my family. I would do anything for him and love him more than anything in this world. Also, my parents are alive, having siblings, in laws etc that are also family. There are also close friends that i consider "family"

Do people view childfree couples as having "no family"? Most of my friends have children and have always sent regards to "my family". so i was taken back by this remark....not to mention a little hurt

Message edited 12/30/2011 10:23:48 AM.

Re: Who is considered "family"

My husband and I are a FAMILY

just because we do not have children doesn't make us any more or less of a family.

FTR your coworker is an idiot....

Re: Who is considered "family"

Single people also have families. Your co-worker is a tool.

Re: Who is considered "family"

I have kids and before them I would still say my dh and I were a family. We also have people outside us that are considered family.
You don't need to have kids to have a family.

Re: Who is considered "family"

I consider my DH and I and our kitties to be a family. So much so, that our cake topper at our wedding was DH, myself...and the cats. Yep.

Would your coworker consider a widow with a child to be a family? A single dad with a few kids?

Meh.

People are strange. Don't let it get to you. Funny thing is, when coworkers annoy me, I always say to myself "coworkers are like family...you don't get to pick them, but you have to deal with them!"

Re: Who is considered "family"

thanks for your responses... yes my
co-worker is a idiot & unfortunately have to deal with him on a regular basis

just lately been hearing alot of the "if you had kids remarks " for everything. again not sure if i'm reading too much into things.

for example a friend of mine recently lost her Dad. she is also childfree. i mentioned to a mutual friend of ours (has kids) that she is having a real tough time dealing with her loss. her response: "well she doesn't have kids". So does that mean if she did have kids she would miss her dad any less or wouldn't be taking it as hard?

ok vent over...

Re: Who is considered "family"

The comment your coworker made is odd. I would definitely consider DH and my parents and sister my family. Family means family whether it be immediate or extended. It's not like you said happy holidays to the kids.

Re: Who is considered "family"

If someone wished me and my family a happy holiday I would think ok, me, DH and extended (parents, siblings etc)

Re: Who is considered "family"

Obviously, people without children were hatched in pods and therefore have no blood/legal relatives who could be considered family.

Re: Who is considered "family"

Posted by Lisa

My husband and I are a FAMILY

just because we do not have children doesn't make us any more or less of a family.

FTR your coworker is an idiot....

Re: Who is considered "family"

Posted by Christine

Obviously, people without children were hatched in pods and therefore have no blood/legal relatives who could be considered family.

Re: Who is considered "family"

Some people always have to have strict, narrow definitions. Otherwise they can't handle the big scary world of possibilities and non-conformity.

Re: Who is considered "family"

The minute you and DH signed the paper saying you were married is the minute you are a family. I would feel the same way if it were two men or two women as well.

Re: Who is considered "family"

Posted by Christine

Obviously, people without children were hatched in pods and therefore have no blood/legal relatives who could be considered family.

Re: Who is considered "family"

My husband is my family as well as my parents, brother, SILs, BIL, in laws, and my dog! I have a wonderful family even though I do not have children yet.

Re: Who is considered "family"

Re: Who is considered "family"

Webster defines family as :
- a group of individuals living under one roof and usually under one head :

Oxford defines it as :
- a group consisting of two parents and their children living together as a unit:
- a group of people related by blood or marriage:

Children do not define a family, they expand it.
I don't have children, yet DH and I are still a family.
My dad, sister, BIL, nephew, niece are also my family. My extended family includes my in-laws.

But for the purpose of this board, DH and I are a family of two.

Re: Who is considered "family"

Your co-worker is just plain silly!

Of course you don't need kids to be a part of a family!

Re: Who is considered "family"

Everyone has a family. I always wish people happy holidays and to their family. They might not e married, but they have brothers, sisters, close friends, whatever.

DH and I do intend to have children someday but when people ask "When are you going to start a family" I say "I did when we got married"

Re: Who is considered "family"

Without a doubt, you ARE a family. Don't let anyone ever tell you different!

Before we had a child, I always considered DH and I our own family. Others might not have seen it that way, but they could suck it!