Help me see the other side here (re: handheld games)...

Now that my DDs are getting older, they're entering the world of Leapsters, DSis and etc... My oldest (6) just got the DSi; the middle (4.5) has a Leapster and a new LeapPad. I place strict limits on their use, particularly outside the house--and this is nothing new, they've both had Leapsters for over 2 years now.

They may not bring them in the car (except in the case of perhaps a 2+ hour trip), to restaurants, or to playdates, etc. But recently I've noticed that most other kids are allowed to do this. My girls went over their grandmother's to play with their cousins the other day and the cousins brought their games. We had a playdate over here last week and the kids brought over the DSi--then of course, my DD broke out hers and they were sitting side by side playing them. In fact, I've been to a party at which the guest of honor spent most of the time playing on the game.

I'm not exactly sure what I'm asking here, but do you find this to be the norm too? If your kids bring their games along why is that OK with you? Or under what circumstances is it? Sometimes I think I'm wrapped too tightly, parenting-wise; am I?

Message edited 1/17/2012 12:25:25 PM.

Re: Help me see the other side here (re: handheld games)...

DS has had handheld stuff since he was 6ish (he had a DS, but now that he's 11 he's kind of outgrown it) and DD, age almost 6, has a Leappad.

DD brings the Leappad in the car sometimes, especially when the car ride is going to be long. It keeps her occupied, since DS doesn't want to chat with her and DD2 usually falls asleep in the car. DS never brought his in the car because he gets carsick.

I don't let them bring it anywhere else. If we are going somewhere (family gettogether, with friends, restaurant, party, etc) they should be attending to that, not to their electronics. It's not a rule, but honestly they never really asked. They're not glued to the screen at all... I think certain kids are, and that's where it becomes a problem.

Re: Help me see the other side here (re: handheld games)...

I would not let my kids use the leappads on play dates, but since my kids are the only grandchildren I do let them bring the leappads there. I limit their time with these machines. I feel that it is important for them to be able to use them, but also for them to be ok with out them as well.

Re: Help me see the other side here (re: handheld games)...

I do not let my kids bring their handhelds anywhere. I find it incredibly rude to see kids sitting in restaurants, in church, at dance recitals, at other peoples home... etc playing handheld games.

They play them at home and on long car trips.

A pet peeve of mine

Re: Help me see the other side here (re: handheld games)...

I let them bring it in the car because it keeps them occupied. When we go out to eat they bring them in, but as soon as the food comes they get put away until we get back in the car. Many times we find that they don't even use 'em in restaurants because we end up talking, but for those moments where they get antsy it's a lifesaver.

Definitely would not let them play with it during playdates or at church.

Message edited 1/17/2012 2:48:38 PM.

Re: Help me see the other side here (re: handheld games)...

What??? In church?? I have never seen this... That is absolutely ridiculous!!!

Re: Help me see the other side here (re: handheld games)...

If we have a long dinner somewhere like a relatives birthday or something, I let DS bring his DS lol. He is 5 and there are no other kids his age and I cant expect him to sit bored for 3 hours while the adults talk. I see nothing wrong with it, in fact I think it is better than having him complain and try ti get up out of his chair etc.

Re: Help me see the other side here (re: handheld games)...

I see the same problem everywhere and I don't condone it! First of all, I am not a fan of getting those toys for kids. We have no Wii and DS. My son got a Leapster for his 5th birthday and that's all he has now at 6.5. We let them have it for log car rides or long dinner out with adult relatives when they have nothing else to do. Other than that: almost never!

I also hate it when kids use their electronic game toys instead of interacting with their peers. I feel like all those devices are robbing them of ability to enjoy regular childhood activities and build friendships, because they end sticking their noses into the screen and never coming up for air!

Sometimes I feel like an evil mom, but then I remind myself that I am doing it for their own good and enjoy the results of the limits I enforce!

Re: Help me see the other side here (re: handheld games)...

Re: Help me see the other side here (re: handheld games)...

I really think it depends on the kid. Mine have every game they ask for ( wii, Xbox, dsi, iPod touch etc) and they never have to be told to limit their playing. They are definitely more "outside" kids and the game systems go untouched for weeks if the weather is nice. That said, we allow them to bring their hand held stuff where ever they want, knowing full well they won't monopolize their attention.

I can definitely see setting parameters on kids who are glued to the screen.

Re: Help me see the other side here (re: handheld games)...

Honestly, I don't think it's the norm, personally. I also don't agree with it. My DD has an iPOD touch and plays games on it, but she's really not even that into it because we limit it and she'd rather be doing something active. I think that for many parents it's just easier to give their kid the handheld game than have to listen to them whine or have to interact with them. That sounds harsh, but I really do believe that.

Re: Help me see the other side here (re: handheld games)...

my kids are 2 & 4, have an iPad they share and each have their own iTouch.

they have NO limits, can play where ever whenever, but to be honest they prefer to play with their friends or doing play-doh or coloring or painting or chalk, or just playing with their toys

from what i know none of their friends have limitations either and all of the electronics go with them, but they prefer to peer to peer play.

i don't think its a way for parents to shut up their kids, i feel the limitations that parents put on their child makes them want the item more.

it's like TV.. most kids who can't watch tv usually will sit in front of it for hours when the opportunity arises. those who watch TV at their leisure usually gravitate towards other things other than the TV

also, for moms who have kids with disabilities, using the iTouch/iPad or any electronic game in church or restaurant or wherever they may be, may prevent a melt down. and i am not talking about a spoiled brat meltdown, i am talking about an full blown autistic meltdown.

with todays technology and gadgets, it is totally the norm...

Re: Help me see the other side here (re: handheld games)...

Re: Help me see the other side here (re: handheld games)...

Restaurants are one of the few places where we do use it. We keep the volume low & we are not at quiet types of places. I wouldn't asssume that a kid uses it 24/7 based on seeing them use it in some situations. There does come a point where kids want to play them together but it would not really be my playdate preference either. I doubt I will stop it if it is not often. So far my son seems to be able to take it or leave it and I am glad because like you, I am not a strong proponent of handheld games for young kids. We own them but I feel that there are better toys for kids.

Message edited 1/17/2012 10:35:27 PM.

Re: Help me see the other side here (re: handheld games)...

We have a Wii and DS has a DSi. He does not bring ihis DSi out of the house without permission. We allow him to take it on long car rides, and to restaurants when are having a family dinner and he is the only child present. If its just the three of us he does not bring it.

At home he has periods where he wants to play both Wii and DSi during his free time every day. Then he forgets about them for weeks. Right now he is really into the Wii Skylander game he received for Christmas. Often DH or I will play with him. I do allow the Wii sports games to be played on playdates. They are fun and give the kids some activity. I dont like the DSi for playdates even when they link up and play together. I believe he can have more fun at this age (8 yo boy) with imaginative play.

Re: Help me see the other side here (re: handheld games)...

Emily got her leapster when she was 4 and she just got a DS this past Christmas at 6.5.

She barely plays with the leapster anymore. To be honest she has mastered most of the skills on the games, so it isn't so appropriate anymore as a learning game. She does still like to play "Pet Pals" from time to time.

The DS doesn't even come out during the week. I will let her use it on the weekend if I am cleaning because it keeps her occupied so I can get things done, and if we are taking a car ride out to my sister or brother's house, they both live an hour away from us so I will let her use it in the car. Other then that we barely use it, and I like it that way

Re: Help me see the other side here (re: handheld games)...

Our DC 5 and under only have WII. Honestly we see them everywhere we go and are in no rush for our DC to have them... Even in church we see at least a dozen kids with them...

Re: Help me see the other side here (re: handheld games)...

My kids each have an Ipod touch and DSi's and we don't put any restrictions on when/where they can play them. I let them play in the car and if we go out to eat, they can bring them. Honestly it gives my husband and I time to actually talk to each other at dinner without constant fights or complaints from someone. My oldest just got a Kindle Fire and will bring it to read on also.
It also gives me a nice threat if they are acting up. It's the first thing to be taken away.
My oldest has used it on playdates (infrequently) but they want to check the levels that each are on are vs each other but they don't monopolize their time on it.

Re: Help me see the other side here (re: handheld games)...

I have no issue with handheld games being brought in public, especially for long periods. We usually travel with an arsenal of entertainment if we're going to be out of the house long- like if DH and I take the kids to watch football or if we have a family party with few/no other kids to play with. We have coloring books, Perfection, play doh, and handhelds. It makes it a more enjoyable outing for all of us. If its just a quick lunch or dinner, we don't bring stuff.

Re: Help me see the other side here (re: handheld games)...

Ds got a DS for his 6th birthday; he is allowed to play for 1 hour each day between 6pm-7pm; but his homework must be done, he has to have eaten his dinner, and he has to have taken a shower already and be in his PJ's....

Most nights 6pm comes and he doesnt even ask for it, if he plays twice a week- thats alot....

It does not go anywhere with us (again unless its going to be a long car ride) .... if on a playdate the 2 kids decide to play side by side, it doesnt bother me- but I dont think it belongs in restaurants and should be used as a babysitter.....

Re: Help me see the other side here (re: handheld games)...

I would let mine bring to a restuarant b/c my son doesnt really eat and we would never get through a dinner without occupying him, but I do believe he is a seperate kind of issues, I also lethim bring it in the car for long rides, but thats rare. Dr's office , I allow as well.

NEVER to someones house. Thats ridiculous to me.