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Crashing...with a question about how to announce?

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stillasecret
LIF Infant

Member since 2/12

370 total posts

Name:

Crashing...with a question about how to announce?

Hoping you ladies can give me some suggestions. A close friend lost her baby a few months back and I'm struggling with how to tell her that I'm expecting. I don't want to take her by surprise but I don't want her to feel like I was afraid to tell her. Any thoughts?

Posted 2/22/12 7:22 PM
 

Melissa1013
My sweet boy

Member since 1/08

1933 total posts

Name:
Melissa

Re: Crashing...with a question about how to announce?

I would be honest with her. Tell her just the two of you. You don't want to put her in a situation where she needs to worry about her reaction in front of other people.

I would also let her know that you know this will probably be hard for her and you understand if she needs to take a step back.

After my loss I had a friend tell us she was pregnant and due the day after I should have been. She told me she understood if we needed a break from seeing them for a while. It meant so much to me that she knew it wasn't going to be easy for us. It hurt in the beginning but I was happy for them.

I hope this helps. Good luck.

Posted 2/23/12 9:46 AM
 

stillasecret
LIF Infant

Member since 2/12

370 total posts

Name:

Re: Crashing...with a question about how to announce?

Thank you.

Posted 2/23/12 6:30 PM
 

YourMama
LIF Adult

Member since 4/11

913 total posts

Name:
YourMama

Re: Crashing...with a question about how to announce?

I would tell her like you'd tell anyone else but I agree with the PP that said to tell her privately.

Posted 2/23/12 8:09 PM
 

queensgal
Smile

Member since 4/09

3287 total posts

Name:

Re: Crashing...with a question about how to announce?

I agree with telling her privately.

Everyone deals with this differently, so she may have a reaction like pp mentioned, or not. Speaking with her 1:1 and showing her that you are being understanding of her feelings - whatever they may be - is the right way to go.

It's nice of you to be so considerate.

Congratulations - happy and healthy 9 months to you!

Posted 2/24/12 8:30 AM
 

stillasecret
LIF Infant

Member since 2/12

370 total posts

Name:

Re: Crashing...with a question about how to announce?

Thank you all. I really appreciate your responses.

Posted 2/24/12 1:53 PM
 

MCD0524
LIF Adult

Member since 4/10

1199 total posts

Name:

Re: Crashing...with a question about how to announce?

This was a huge fear of mine after losing my first pregnancy. I was terrified that one of my best friends would announce their pregnancy. The only thing that would have made me feel better was if they told me on the phone, not in person. I would probably start to cry right away and I wouldn't want them to think I wasn't happy for them. Also, I would say something like, if you need some time to deal with this I understand, and let her have some space. Maybe she wont need it, but it would be nice to offer it up.

Posted 2/24/12 5:15 PM
 

OrganicMama
So in love with my little man!

Member since 6/08

5172 total posts

Name:
Mama

Re: Crashing...with a question about how to announce?

Posted by MCD0524

This was a huge fear of mine after losing my first pregnancy. I was terrified that one of my best friends would announce their pregnancy. The only thing that would have made me feel better was if they told me on the phone, not in person. I would probably start to cry right away and I wouldn't want them to think I wasn't happy for them. Also, I would say something like, if you need some time to deal with this I understand, and let her have some space. Maybe she wont need it, but it would be nice to offer it up.




ITA with this. I personally would want to be told over the phone or even by text or email, but definitely not in person. Also, please be understanding and let her have some space to deal with it in her own time. It may take a while for her to come around, or it may cause some permanent distance. It's not that she's not happy for you, she's just sad for herself. Chat Icon

Posted 2/25/12 5:14 PM
 

AngnShaun
Sisters

Member since 1/10

21015 total posts

Name:
Ang

Re: Crashing...with a question about how to announce?

I think the problem is what works for me might not work for her.. id just be honest and tell her... dont let her hear from someone else... Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 2/26/12 9:01 AM
 
 

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