I need opinions please

My DS's SEIT that also comes to my house for him home sessions said something to me tonight, and I'm not sure how to take it. She told me that his classroom teacher thought he was doing math on his fingers, and we both know that he was. He has been obsessed with numbers lately, learning how to add simple sums, like 5 + 5 = 10. He loves to play with the calculator on my iphone just typing things in.

OK, so her comment was that I shouldn't encourage him to do this, I should encourage him to just play other games on my iphone because she thinks that if he knows too much by kindergarten it is going to be a problem. I told her that I would not stop him from learning, but I don't do flashcards with him or anything. He likes to play educational apps. Is that such a bad thing? He is 3 and he can read and do simple math. I already know that the curriculum in kindergarten won't challenge him intellectually, but learning how to be a social child is what he will hopefully learn there. He is PDD-NOs. Any thoughts?

Message edited 3/8/2012 9:07:21 PM.

Re: I need opinions please

My son is like yours. He just enjoys letters, numbers and words. I don't encourage it at all, it just interests him. I don't think letting him have the opportunity to do what he likes is a bad thing. Everyone should be able to do what they like. Of course that doesn't mean we let him sit with a calculator all day. But if that is how he choosed to spend his own "downtime" than I let him. If it goes on for more than 30 minutes, which is entirely possible on a weekend if we're home, I do try and intervene to do something else. Sometimes it works. Sometimes not. I don't get to crazy about it.

He will be going to kindergarten next year with an IEP. They've already had to begin individualizing his curriculum in preschool now to keep him challenged but like you said, the more intensive challenge is for him to pick up those social skills. Neither myself or his teachers are worried about him academically.

Re: I need opinions please

Don't ever discourage your child from something he likes to do....he might be a numbers wiz!! : )

My DD is the same way and is in K now. She just tested for her annual meeting and is way above skill level. She loves to learn and I teach her whatever she wants. She already is above a 1st grade level in reading, math, spelling and vocabulary and I think think it's great. She actually asked me to buy a book today at the toy store that teaches how to tell time lol. Next year they can focus more on her social skills and not worry to much about academics. Social skills is where she is lacking.

Re: I need opinions please

If you would have told me this a few years ago, I would have said "I can't believe I am hearing this". However, after dealing with my fair share of ABA therapists or SEITs I am really beginning to think many have very little comprehension about "learning" and are trained to believe that these kids are nothing but a bunch of "behaviors" they need to alter. I think they need to spend their time attending workshops on how to teach, rather than how to train. (sorry I am struggling so much with this personally, that I am venting here).

I was a classroom teacher for many years prior to having kids. I taught all types of learners. If a child is exceptional in certain areas, you encourage it AlWAYS !!! You use the child's interest, strength, talent or knowledge and you work from it. If your ds can ADD at age 3, FANTASTIC, maybe he can even multiply by age 3.5 ...why on earth would you DETER THIS ???? Makes absolutely no sense. What you do want to make sure of is that he "understands" why 5 plus 5 equal 10. If your ds completely understands the concept of addition, introduce all kinds of problem solving experiences that utilizes his abilities. The main goal you should have for your ds is that he is an incredible problem solver. The skill of adding will only help him solve more problems.

Your DS will not be bored in kindergarten with the right teacher. A teacher's role is to give the students opportunities to work on whatever level they are at. A teacher is a "facilitator". If your child can do calculus, and another child can only count....they could still be in the same group, working with the same manipulatives, but each taking it to "their" highest level possible. A good teacher knows how to set up such an open ended activity.

So in the end my suggestion is to encourage that mathematical ability of his and even more so get him to apply it to real life situations.

Another reason why the DIR/Floortime model makes so much sense, the core to it is "problem solving". I am so disappointed in this whole ABA thing...

Message edited 3/8/2012 10:39:07 PM.

Re: I need opinions please

I'd like to thank you for your opinions. I love this teacher, which is why her comment bothered me so much. She has been so good with my DS in so many ways. He can read and yes he does understand why 5 + 5 = 10. I told her I would not discourage him from learning anything. He is so academically advanced for his age, it's crazy to me. He can be social, and that is what I need him to learn from school right now.

Re: I need opinions please

WOW!!! for her to discourage his learning really floors me. I would NOT listen to her.
Hopefully he will have a great teacher in kindergarten who will challenge him if he needs to be.

Re: I need opinions please

I think you are absolutely right to encourage him. He is honing an important skill, and there is no reason why he can't work on this and work on social skills. Maybe check out toys at a teacher supply store that involve mathematics or use a toy cash register. Then he can do both, but there is also nothing wrong with letting him do this with a calculator and have some downtime, our children cannot be "on" all day, they need time to do things they like, and have time to themselves.

My son's play therapist (who has helped him make huge strides) keeps telling me not to let him obsess over any one activity. And for the most part, his days are varied He goes to an integrated PreK till 2 then daycare until 6. When we get home, he likes to play video games (he has always been visually oriented and gets obsessed about books, puzzles, movies, now games). I let him play for a limited time, before dinner, about 30 minutes. That's it for they day, and he loves it. I think his confidence is boosted a bit when he figures out tricky parts of games, and frankly, it's a conversation starter with other kids Is he obsessed? Yes. Is it a bad obsession if it's limited? IMO no. And your son is doing something even more positive!

I think with all the therapies and recommendations, it's easy to lose sight if the child, and to not let them explore what is interesting to them. Every child needs time to do what they enjoy though, and they can't constantly work on their deficits.

Re: I need opinions please

Re: I need opinions please

Here's my opinion.

I solicit all kinds of opinions, suggestions and advise regarding my DS from his teachers, therapists and school staff and I do consider all of them. But then, I think about HIM and whether I think those ideas fit for him and our lives together. We've gotten many great ideas and have implemented them, and we have gotten some suggestions that I just don't see as practical for him or us.

I don't ever discourage anything my DS truly enjoys doing if it is teaching him something, but I do sometimes limit it. For example, we have flashcards for the iTouch - I'm sure a lot of you have them. He loves them, but fixates on them quite a bit after he plays with them. It's been suggested to me that I just delete them. I decided not to do that. He gets such enjoyment from them, and I use playing with the iTouch as a reward, so keeping them on there makes it a strong motivator for DS.

If your DS is figuring this stuff out on his own, I don't know how much you are going to "stop" it anyway. The only problem I see with him knowing too much for Kindergarten is that he will get bored, but chances are that is going to happen in certain areas anyway. It's going to be up to the teacher to figure out how to challenge him, regardless of what he knows or doesn't know before he gets there.

Re: I need opinions please

Absolutely do NOT discourage him from what he loves but use it as a vehicle for getting in with him...If he loves pushing numbers on a calculator than you get your own calculator and sit alongside and see if you can get in on his play...You're still working on social goals but in things that interest him...When it comes to social language its about getting into the child's world first and then very slowly and carefully drawing them out....Not you pulling them into your world or interests and starting from there...

Your gut is telling you are right and its because you are...Just because a child has developmental delays does not mean that they are not allowed to have interests or things that they gravitate towards...And he probably likes numbers because it is "MEANINGFUL", to him it makes sense...in a place where alot of the outside world may not always make a whole lot of sense to him...So think about what discouraging something like this could do to him emotionally... Just some food for thought...

Re: I need opinions please

My sons teacher has made comments like that, she calls it "feeding into him". (my son's obesessed with animals and wants to know every detail) Her feeling is that he shuts down learning other things that are important because he's focusing his attention to much on that one subject.
Me, I don't know how I feel about it.
Honestly, having another son with ASD who's older and non-verbal has made me really overlook this because my little guy does have language and is interested in his animals so why should I take it away?

Re: I need opinions please

Thank you everyone for your opinions. I am going to limit DS's iPod time a little more than I have been. While he only plays educational apps, he has been getting very upset lately when he can't play with my iPhone for an extended period of time, so I definitely will cut back. However, I will not stop or dicouragw him from learning. EVER!!! I am a teacher too, and I don't see the harm in learning. If when he gets to kindergarten he knows all of the curriculum, so be it. He will have plenty of time to work on socialization and playing with friends. So at least I won't have to worry about HW. Just so you know, his teachers have done wonders for him since they started working with him and he loves them. He plays with lots of things and goes through phases. Right now, math is his phase. I'm sure it will pass and all of the past one's have and he will want to learn about something new.

Re: I need opinions please

Posted by sapphire

If you would have told me this a few years ago, I would have said "I can't believe I am hearing this". However, after dealing with my fair share of ABA therapists or SEITs I am really beginning to think many have very little comprehension about "learning" and are trained to believe that these kids are nothing but a bunch of "behaviors" they need to alter. I think they need to spend their time attending workshops on how to teach, rather than how to train. (sorry I am struggling so much with this personally, that I am venting here).

I was a classroom teacher for many years prior to having kids. I taught all types of learners. If a child is exceptional in certain areas, you encourage it AlWAYS !!! You use the child's interest, strength, talent or knowledge and you work from it. If your ds can ADD at age 3, FANTASTIC, maybe he can even multiply by age 3.5 ...why on earth would you DETER THIS ???? Makes absolutely no sense. What you do want to make sure of is that he "understands" why 5 plus 5 equal 10. If your ds completely understands the concept of addition, introduce all kinds of problem solving experiences that utilizes his abilities. The main goal you should have for your ds is that he is an incredible problem solver. The skill of adding will only help him solve more problems.

Your DS will not be bored in kindergarten with the right teacher. A teacher's role is to give the students opportunities to work on whatever level they are at. A teacher is a "facilitator". If your child can do calculus, and another child can only count....they could still be in the same group, working with the same manipulatives, but each taking it to "their" highest level possible. A good teacher knows how to set up such an open ended activity.

So in the end my suggestion is to encourage that mathematical ability of his and even more so get him to apply it to real life situations.

Another reason why the DIR/Floortime model makes so much sense, the core to it is "problem solving". I am so disappointed in this whole ABA thing...