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when
Maybe this time?
Member since 7/07 1761 total posts
Name:
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"Everything Happens for a Reason"
Dear Everyone who ever said this to me,
I would like to punch you in the face.
For this circumstance, and all negative circumstances, I find this phrase to be a cheap, phony attempt at making me feel better regarding my current situation.
it actually marginalizes my feelings, and makes me feel worse!
Even if you truly do believe this corny euphemism, please don't impose your spiritual beliefs on me. I do NOT believe that everything in life happens for a reason(child abuse, hunger, and cancer to name a few).
If I confide in you, and am upset, and you don't know what to say, you would be better off using a phrase such as: "I am sad that you have to deal with this" OR "I wish I could say something to make you feel better but I just can't " OR just keep your mouth shut altogether and put your hand on my shoulder and let me know that you are real. If you truly can't empathize with my feelings, that's ok....and normal, but please don't ever use the phrase ......it pains me to type it again....."everything happens for a reason"
Sincerely,
When
Vent over.
Message edited 6/28/2012 7:44:27 PM.
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Posted 6/28/12 10:00 AM  |
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LemonHead
Sour Girl
Member since 3/08 5271 total posts
Name:
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Re: "Everything Happens for a Reason"
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| Posted 6/28/12 11:31 AM |
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cateyemm
Twins!
Member since 7/10 8027 total posts
Name:
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Re: "Everything Happens for a Reason"
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| Posted 6/28/12 12:02 PM |
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Re: "Everything Happens for a Reason"
and It will happen when it's supposed to. Screw you supposed to!!!!
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| Posted 6/28/12 2:06 PM |
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Melissa1013
My sweet boy
Member since 1/08 1933 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: "Everything Happens for a Reason"
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| Posted 6/28/12 2:09 PM |
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LadyBug1209
Mommy to FOUR little men!
Member since 8/08 9655 total posts
Name:
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Re: "Everything Happens for a Reason"
OR My personal favorite:
"It wasn't meant to be...."
GEE THANKS, I'm glad my child wasn't meant to be... 
Message edited 6/28/2012 2:20:57 PM.
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| Posted 6/28/12 2:20 PM |
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MrsRinNY
LIF Infant
Member since 4/10 117 total posts
Name:
Gina
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Re: "Everything Happens for a Reason"
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| Posted 6/28/12 3:12 PM |
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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Re: "Everything Happens for a Reason"
Or .. ."It will happen when it's your time" ...
Umm ok it was "my time" in April 2010 when I got pregnant with my  
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| Posted 6/28/12 5:22 PM |
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bettybcafe
Big brother in the making
Member since 7/07 8611 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: "Everything Happens for a Reason"
Posted by LadyBug1209
OR My personal favorite:
"It wasn't meant to be...."
GEE THANKS, I'm glad my child wasn't meant to be...
Yes, this one drove me insane. 
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| Posted 6/28/12 7:28 PM |
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frio85
LIF Adult
Member since 8/11 1164 total posts
Name:
Michele
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Re: "Everything Happens for a Reason"
I love this!!!
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| Posted 7/17/12 7:31 PM |
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HeyJude
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/07 820 total posts
Name:
p
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Message edited 8/20/2012 4:17:50 PM.
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| Posted 7/24/12 10:33 AM |
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Lillies
Grateful for my babies!
Member since 2/12 4571 total posts
Name:
<3
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Re: "Everything Happens for a Reason"
I think I totally have been guilty of saying that a few times in the past not knowing that it would have made the other person feel crummy. I think most people don't really know the right things to say when a person is grieving in any situation and often stick with common lines or stumble on words. A simple sorry or hug can go a long way and many do not realize that
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| Posted 7/24/12 11:06 AM |
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Lillies
Grateful for my babies!
Member since 2/12 4571 total posts
Name:
<3
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Re: "Everything Happens for a Reason"
Posted by havinababy
I wish there was some sort of public announcement - just say "i'm sorry" and leave it at that.
I also love it when you are waiting in the hospital for your D&C and your Dr is running late so the nurse thinks it is OK to tell you (with a big smile on her face) "Sorry the Dr is running behind he has had to deliver 3 c-sections this morning"
um yeah-you know why I am here right????????????????? I know what my Dr does for a living-I don't need a run down of his schedule-esp today
How terrible! That's very insensitive. 
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| Posted 7/24/12 11:07 AM |
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Re: "Everything Happens for a Reason"
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| Posted 7/24/12 12:03 PM |
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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Re: "Everything Happens for a Reason"
Posted by Lillies
Posted by havinababy
I wish there was some sort of public announcement - just say "i'm sorry" and leave it at that.
I also love it when you are waiting in the hospital for your D&C and your Dr is running late so the nurse thinks it is OK to tell you (with a big smile on her face) "Sorry the Dr is running behind he has had to deliver 3 c-sections this morning"
um yeah-you know why I am here right????????????????? I know what my Dr does for a living-I don't need a run down of his schedule-esp today
How terrible! That's very insensitive.
Unreal. I'm sure she didn't mean anything by it, but still!!!!! I feel like people just lack sensitivity
My experience getting my d&e was AWFUL but at my d&c I spoke to a nurse who lost triplets (like I was..) and she showed me a pic of her healthy son who she had after that loss. You have to be lucky to find people who will take you under their wing in those situations and go the extra mile.
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| Posted 7/24/12 8:20 PM |
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ready2go
LIF Adult
Member since 1/08 2379 total posts
Name:
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Re: "Everything Happens for a Reason"
This sucks. I think people feel uncomfortable with knowing the right thing to say, so they say this.
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| Posted 7/31/12 12:06 PM |
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Aly764
Isla Grace born on 11/15/13 <3
Member since 6/12 1021 total posts
Name:
Alyssa
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Re: "Everything Happens for a Reason"
THANK YOU!!!!!! I am so freaking SICK of people telling me this!! I just found out 3 days ago that we lost the baby and people keep telling me this, or "this is God's plan" or "it wasn't meant to be" and all I can do is politely smile and nod. I appreciate that they are trying to make me feel better. But what I really want to say is- "well I don't believe in any of that bullsh!t. But thanks anyways" ...awkward silence....
Thank you because this post is the only thing so far that actually does make me feel better!!!
Message edited 8/4/2012 9:42:17 AM.
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| Posted 8/4/12 8:27 AM |
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TaraVinny
my miracle coming October!!!
Member since 10/09 1049 total posts
Name:
Tara
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Re: "Everything Happens for a Reason"
i agree a simple "im sorry" is all i want to hear.
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| Posted 8/4/12 9:12 AM |
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My4GirlsMyLife
My 4 girlies
Member since 2/08 9702 total posts
Name:
Valerie
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Re: "Everything Happens for a Reason"
Posted by TaraVinny
i agree a simple "im sorry" is all i want to hear.
ITA !
Or I just got this yesterday " It's good it happened early " Are you kidding me ? I was 12 weeks ! It doesn't matter ! I had a molar pregnancy which never turned into a fetus and that was still traumatic ! It doesn't matter how far you are ! You find out you are pregnant and right away you are dreaming of the future and planning and Oh my gosh all the excitement and one day it is all shattered ! I think unless someone goes through it they just don't understand how some words can sound so insensitive ! That is why I am so happy to have this board and you ladies !
Message edited 8/5/2012 3:02:08 PM.
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| Posted 8/5/12 2:54 PM |
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YourMama
LIF Adult
Member since 4/11 913 total posts
Name:
YourMama
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Re: "Everything Happens for a Reason"
Posted by HeyJude
I wish there was some sort of public announcement - just say "i'm sorry" and leave it at that.
I also love it when you are waiting in the hospital for your D&C and your Dr is running late so the nurse thinks it is OK to tell you (with a big smile on her face) "Sorry the Dr is running behind he has had to deliver 3 c-sections this morning"
um yeah-you know why I am here right????????????????? I know what my Dr does for a living-I don't need a run down of his schedule-esp today
ugh I had a similar experience! The day before my 2nd D&C my obgyn told me that she's hoping she can make it for my 10 a.m D&C but she has another patient that went into labor that gets first priority. It really stung!
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| Posted 8/6/12 10:50 PM |
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